Some of the stuff you say don't ring true matey from past talking to genuine lad's..it may be wrong but i will never know till i walk the walk with you..i would gladly have a mooch out with you and even sort a night out if you are upto it.. .but you and the dog's will need to be fit and obeidient..
To quote a freind of mine...... I'd rather drink petrol and piss on a fire, than have anything to do with you !
Cheers.
nice reply atb