> Went out last night and got really wasted. I woke up in the middle of the > night next to some chick who was snoring and farting, so I knew I made it > home OK! > > The wife's back on the warpath again. She was up for making a sex > movie last night, and all I did was suggest we should hold > auditions for her part. > > I've accidentally swallowed some Scrabble tiles. My next shit could > spell disaster. > > My sister-in-law sat on my glasses and broke them. It was my own > fault. I should have taken them off. > > I spent a couple of hours defrost