Prof of maths sends his wife a text"Dear wife ,your 54 years old ,you can no longer satisfy my needs, so when you get this i will be in a hotel with my 18yr old assistant,i,m sorry i will be home late." Wife sends reply "Dear husband your also 54 and by the time you get this i,ll also be in a hotel with my 18yr old toyboy,your a mathematician so you will know that 18 goes into 54 a lot more times than 54 into 18 ,so don,t wait up floppy knob"!!!!
My new girlfriend said she wanted something nine inches,hard and full of spunk....so i give her a sock from under my bed...
Bloke goes to buy