I can now empathise with bunnies................

[mackem 23,826]

F***ing-hell best describes last night!We arrive at a Venue,havent been there before,but decide to check it out anyway Farmhouse was packed with people,loads of vehicles on the drive-way and parked in the court-yard,and I mean LOTS of cars,normally thats not a problem,the lakes 150 yards from the buildings,thats fine BUT theres a spotlight,a bright spotlight,a bit like the police-helicopter dragonlight mounted hight up on a farmhouse wall,and pointing directly at the trout-pond Even as we walked around the waters edge to scope things out we were bathed in light,silhouetted and casting long shadows across the water No worries though and plenty of fish showing,so everythings going to be fine right? Theres a gravel-track leading from the farmhouse to the lakeside,and we are standing at the water discussing tactics when the crunch of gravel alerts us to a vehicles slow approach we crouched down and he is coming straight at us Theres a gate seperates the lake from the farm,the gates 20 yards in front of us,we are in open country,and we are F**KED I flattened deep into the short grass,trying to make myself as small as possible,buried my face into the ground and listened to the vehicle stop at the gate,oh dear,it looks like we might be in trouble!I heard the door open,footsteps on the gravel.............

For some obscure reason the guys lamping all around the egde of the lake,checking for nocturnal illegal eastern-european fishermen perhaps?He is doing a thorough job,checking the banksides properly,but failing to see the two bodies squatting flat in front of him,the beam was sweeping over me,it was like an old B movie "Escape from Colditz" scenario,I half-expected the guards in the watch towers to open up on us at any moment,the chatter of spandaus the last earthly sounds I ever heard,but then the light clicks off(yes,we were close enough to hear the click)and he is driving back up the track to the brightly illuminated farm-house and what looks to be the function/party to end all parties(we didnt get an invite)

The fishing was an anti-climax,into the water and throwing fish onto the bank,we got enough to carry comfortably when F**K,he is coming back DOWN the track Behind a tree,looking for an escape route in open countryside,our options were slim to non-existant,I just wish the owner had informed that guy he had given permission to two guests last night,obviously no one had thought to tell "The Lamper" Same scenario,beam on,everywhere got a good searching,give the guy his dues,he is diligent but he should have gone to specsavers I actually liked that place,and he is going to get a repeat visit very soon,thats if JOES nerves are up to it But I am never going to lamp bunnies again without empathising and understanding exactly what those close squatters are feeling as they clap down tight scant yards away

[Malt 379]

Great write up Mackem. I take it they have a few poachers there then...

[moxy 617]

Great write up Mackem. I take it they have a few poachers there then...

 

No just Mackem, LOL

[maty j 6]

Cracking write up M Do you recon he does that everynight then or was it just with the party and him being awake at those times I'd imagine it could of been a bit emotional if you heard the crunching gravel while you were navigating the nautical steamer How long was it between him taking a breather from the party then?

Edited July 11, 2008 by maty j

[alimac 882]

very good...

[Neil Cooney. 1]

Funny old world isn't it?

On the terrier board someone is unlucky to have their terriers stolen and everyone wants to kill the scumbags.

Here, someone steals fish they get a round of applause.

[mackem 23,826]

Funny old world isn't it?

On the terrier board someone is unlucky to have their terriers stolen and everyone wants to kill the scumbags.

Here, someone steals fish they get a round of applause.

Round of applause Neil?Wait around a while for the encore Sadly your comprehension is the same as your sense of humour,even I can see the part where I mentioned we had permission

[mackem 23,826]

Stealing Neil?Me Neil?Thats a pretty scurrilous accusation you blaggard,pistols at dawn sir

Edited July 11, 2008 by mackem

[Malt 379]

Funny old world isn't it?

On the terrier board someone is unlucky to have their terriers stolen and everyone wants to kill the scumbags.

Here, someone steals fish they get a round of applause.

People don't usually eat terriers where I come from....

[Neil Cooney. 1]

Maybe I'm missing something? Why bury your face in the ground if your above board????

[mackem 23,826]

I was looking for worms Neil Needed some bait!

[mackem 23,826]

Besides,stealing fish?We had been given permission to clear the water of pike,good old essox lucius himself,they are a pest,though I have to admit liking them myself,but they soon clear a water of trout and arent really welcome then No where did I mention what fish we were after last night did i?

As for burying my head in the ground,Ok,time to come clean,even though its a shamefull admission,but I am actually a geophagiac,I dont often tell people that Neil,normally they wont invite you to their house if they know,not unless they want their garden digging,because they imagine you rooting around their lawn looking for nice juicy chunks of loam,oh dear,what would the neighbours say

Edited July 11, 2008 by mackem

[Guest bigredbusa]

way to go matey lol hey neil you never know he may pay a visit to a water near you lol

[Malt 379]

Besides,stealing fish?We had been given permission to clear the water of pike,good old essox lucius himself,they are a pest,though I have to admit liking them myself,but they soon clear a water of trout and arent really welcome then No where did I mention what fish we were after last night did i?

As for burying my head in the ground,Ok,time to come clean,even though its a shamefull admission,but I am actually a geophagiac,I dont often tell people that Neil,normally they wont invite you to their house if they know,not unless they want their garden digging,because they imagine you rooting around their lawn looking for nice juicy chunks of loam,oh dear,what would the neighbours say

I bet you're forever cleaning your fingernails.....

[mackem 23,826]

I actually get manicures,but those hard cuticles are a bugger Malt I never knew fishing could be so stressfull I put up a psy about a legitimate night out and just get bitched at Its terrible really,good job I always leave small details out,mere trifles,otherwise I am sure I might be hung,drawn,and quartered as some people are easily shocked

I only go to invitational waters only BRB and even then I am pretty fussy,but I enjoyed myself so much last night I have to re-visit