Poignant Question

[mushroom 14,155]

I'm sat here on a beach, sun, heat etc.. just spoke with my mum (cerebral palsy all her life and now dementia). I woke up this morning craving home! The countryside, the rain everything... I've a very good life here and don't want to fuuck that up but...

Does it make sense to go home and take care of her even though she has everything she needs (family, help etc). 

Feel free to ask questions but keep the thread honest please.

 

[gunter 1,845]

8 minutes ago, mushroom said:

I'm sat here on a beach, sun, heat etc.. just spoke with my mum (cerebral palsy all her life and now dementia). I woke up this morning craving home! The countryside, the rain everything... I've a very good life here and don't want to fuuck that up but...

Does it make sense to go home and take care of her even though she has everything she needs (family, help etc). 

Feel free to ask questions but keep the thread honest please.

 

You only get one mum and dad thing is some of them are useless as everyone knows and deserve nothing but in reality if your mum or dad raised you in  caring home looked after you taught you right from wrong kept you safe and  made you who you are to today they deserve the help and care later on in there life I don't know your circumstances but maybe more trips back home or maybe your just looking that reason to come home 

[WataWalloper 3,836]

13 minutes ago, mushroom said:

I'm sat here on a beach, sun, heat etc.. just spoke with my mum (cerebral palsy all her life and now dementia). I woke up this morning craving home! The countryside, the rain everything... I've a very good life here and don't want to fuuck that up but...

Does it make sense to go home and take care of her even though she has everything she needs (family, help etc). 

Feel free to ask questions but keep the thread honest please.

 

One my only regrets in life is moving away from fsmily, I’m here now,  an mum an granny an that dead now, spent a lot time travelling back an fro an was with me granny when she passed, was also with me ma the day before, but it still niggles at me that I missed a lot, only you can answer it mate, Spain will always be there tho 

Edited 12 hours ago by WataWalloper

[Daniel cain 49,202]

Personally,I would go back,that women brought you into the world...you only have 1 mother mate...you can always go back to Spain,and pick up where you left off

[TOMO 29,052]

9 minutes ago, mushroom said:

I'm sat here on a beach, sun, heat etc.. just spoke with my mum (cerebral palsy all her life and now dementia). I woke up this morning craving home! The countryside, the rain everything... I've a very good life here and don't want to fuuck that up but...

Does it make sense to go home and take care of her even though she has everything she needs (family, help etc). 

Feel free to ask questions but keep the thread honest please.

 

Lots of things to break down in that...

Is going back to be a carer for her a full time thing...or just going round after work etc...?.....if you do go back...is it guilt that's taking you back?...

Could you go back to Spain later in life and pick up where you left off....would you get work?...

[mackem 29,742]

1 minute ago, WataWalloper said:

 only you can answer it mate

Thats it.

[WataWalloper 3,836]

I’m only 10 mile away from where I was last time you was over, so you know where I am if you need owt

[mushroom 14,155]

3 minutes ago, TOMO said:

Lots of things to break down in that...

Is going back to be a carer for her a full time thing...or just going round after work etc...?.....if you do go back...is it guilt that's taking you back?...

Could you go back to Spain later in life and pick up where you left off....would you get work?...

Nothing would change except I'm in Blighty and yes I could come back without issues, I have my gaff here.

Not sure if it's guilt or want tbh Caring for her as she wants isn't any issue, I've been doing it for 40+years. I think maybe I'm a bit home sick but with reason rather than being a fanny about it

 

[mushroom 14,155]

1 minute ago, WataWalloper said:

I’m only 10 mile away from where I was last time you was over, so you know where I am if you need owt

Right there mate

 

[chartpolski 28,222]

I had a great expat life, then decided to retire at 50, ( it was actually 51 before all loose ends were tied up).

We could have gone to live anywhere in the world but chose to come “home”, because my parents were still alive.

We had a house here and because of our circumstances, we could still travel anywhere and our children were in Saudi and Australia, so visiting them wouldn’t be a problem.

My parents are both gone now, and our two kids, I’m settled here now, but still travel a bit, my missus travels extensively.

Did we make the right decision to come “home” ? I think so, but sometimes wonder what might have been different ?

Its a decision only you can make, Mush !

If you are in a position to try it , and if it doesn’t work out and you can resume your expat life, that’s great

All the best with whatever you choose

Cheers.

[WILF 50,727]

Lots of decent replies here mate…..but to me, here is the big question:

Who are you doing it for and what’s the payoff for all concerned ? 
 

Would you as a parent want your daughter back in Blackpool tending to you and sacrificing something great when you already have all you need ? 
 

 

[mushroom 14,155]

3 minutes ago, chartpolski said:

I had a great expat life, then decided to retire at 50, ( it was actually 51 before all loose ends were tied up).

We could have gone to live anywhere in the world but chose to come “home”, because my parents were still alive.

We had a house here and because of our circumstances, we could still travel anywhere and our children were in Saudi and Australia, so visiting them wouldn’t be a problem.

My parents are both gone now, and our two kids, I’m settled here now, but still travel a bit, my missus travels extensively.

Did we make the right decision to come “home” ? I think so, but sometimes wonder what might have been different ?

Its a decision only you can make, Mush !

If you are in a position to try it , and if it doesn’t work out and you can resume your expat life, that’s great

All the best with whatever you choose

Cheers.

It's hard to explain mate, to people who haven't built a life in another country. Torn is the word I'd use right now. It's as hard as initially leaving Blighty to come here!

[mushroom 14,155]

1 minute ago, WILF said:

Lots of decent replies here mate…..but to me, here is the big question:

Who are you doing it for and what’s the payoff for all concerned ? 
 

Would you as a parent want your daughter back in Blackpool tending to you and sacrificing something great when you already have all you need ? 
 

 

Burnley ya wanker  

[WILF 50,727]

35 minutes ago, mushroom said:

Nothing would change except I'm in Blighty and yes I could come back without issues, I have my gaff here.

Not sure if it's guilt or want tbh Caring for her as she wants isn't any issue, I've been doing it for 40+years. I think maybe I'm a bit home sick but with reason rather than being a fanny about it

 

Let me tell you a stone cold fact mate, when it comes to the U.K., home is better in the remembering than it is in the reality ! 

[WILF 50,727]

Just now, mushroom said:

Burnley ya wanker  

Same difference ! lol