squab 2,875 Posted June 2, 2014 Report Share Posted June 2, 2014 I was banned from Tesco today, why you ask well here is why! I was buying a large bag of dog food for my loyal pet and was in the checkout when I was asked by the woman behind " do you have a dog". What did she think I had a bloody elephant? So since I had plenty of time on my hands with little to do I told her that no I did not have a dog I was going on the dog diet again. I added that I had ended up in hospital last time with tubes coming out of every orifice so it was probably not a good idea but as I had lost 10 kilograms I was prepared to give it another go. With shock on her face and every other person in the queue listening to what I was saying she asked me was that why I ended up in hospital, no I told her the diet is safe it's just that I stepped off the kerb to sniff a red setters arse and got hit by a car. I thought the bloke behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so much. So I am now banned from Tesco as they have no sense of humour. 16 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Fennster16 29 Posted June 2, 2014 Report Share Posted June 2, 2014 Hahahahahaha made me certainly laugh Quote Link to post Share on other sites
northern lad 2,292 Posted June 2, 2014 Report Share Posted June 2, 2014 Quality Quote Link to post Share on other sites
jf1970 328 Posted June 2, 2014 Report Share Posted June 2, 2014 An old one but good all the same. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
keepdiggin 9,565 Posted June 2, 2014 Report Share Posted June 2, 2014 hahahaha legend Quote Link to post Share on other sites
bird 10,014 Posted June 2, 2014 Report Share Posted June 2, 2014 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
lost scouse 46 Posted June 2, 2014 Report Share Posted June 2, 2014 superb Quote Link to post Share on other sites
sussex 5,803 Posted June 2, 2014 Report Share Posted June 2, 2014 Had me laughing ... :laugh: Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Squirrel_Basher 17,102 Posted June 2, 2014 Report Share Posted June 2, 2014 Good one Quote Link to post Share on other sites
socks 32,253 Posted June 2, 2014 Report Share Posted June 2, 2014 Wasn't the exact same joke on here about three days ago ??? ....... 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
squab 2,875 Posted June 2, 2014 Author Report Share Posted June 2, 2014 Wasn't the exact same joke on here about three days ago ??? ....... oh well i must have missed it,sorry about that Quote Link to post Share on other sites
keepdiggin 9,565 Posted June 2, 2014 Report Share Posted June 2, 2014 so its not true? 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
patterdale666 1,620 Posted June 2, 2014 Report Share Posted June 2, 2014 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Qbgrey 4,386 Posted June 2, 2014 Report Share Posted June 2, 2014 so its not true? no it was a labrador not red setter Quote Link to post Share on other sites
abarrett 462 Posted June 2, 2014 Report Share Posted June 2, 2014 Me and the mrs wanted to join the local church so we went to see the vicar When we got there 2 other couples had the same idea Vicar says we can all join if we can do without sex for 2 weeks 2 weeks later we all went back to see how we all got on Couple 1 no problem they where in Couple 2 said they where very tempted towards the end of week 2 but managed to do without they where in Came to our turn I said we made it to the last day when I saw the mrs bending over the freezer getting some peas I couldn't hold back lifted her frock and got stuck in Your band from the church says the vicar Funny thing is I'm BANNED FROM TESCO ASWELL Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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