Rake aboot 4,929 Posted June 23, 2013 Author Report Share Posted June 23, 2013 A fekin golf cart ! jeesus hahahahahaha Ah only want tae have a shot at it. The missus has warned me not to take it up, as I might bankrupt us with gowf tech ! hahahahaha 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
GRAM71 29 Posted June 23, 2013 Report Share Posted June 23, 2013 i only took it up to annoy the farmer, his field backs onto my garden. every now and then he'll spread manure on it so i twat balls at him. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
albert64 1,882 Posted June 23, 2013 Report Share Posted June 23, 2013 rake let me warn you, it turns grown men of good character into dirty cheating lying b*stards...... I always count my shots and I count the other players shots aswell its great when you catch them cheating, there to worried that your watching every shot and their game goes to rat shit but you'll have some fun, the time I dropped the lady capt with a drive right between the shoulder blades silly bitch was stood on my fairway, her husband bought me a drink...lol or the time I was in a comp and the bloke I was playing lost his ball in the rough found a couple of pro v's, not his so he said do you mind if I have them mate so I thinks got a scrounging t**t here so it happens again a couple of holes later but I've got just the thing for him in my bag, an exploding ball...... with a big smiley face on it so when were in the rough again I throws it to him, he must think I've got a right soft t**t here well were teeing up and I can see the smiley face on the tee... I had to hold my face straight but inside I was fecking crying his game went to shite and I couldn't stop laughing or the time I went through the ice taking a shot of a frozen pond,,,,don't ask 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Lab 10,979 Posted June 23, 2013 Report Share Posted June 23, 2013 Pmsl mate......Done the very same trick to my pal a good few years back. Gave him the ball, he teed it up and boom all this white shit covered the tee..I was rolling about the floor greetin.... Lol When I was younger trying to learn back spin I thought I had it sussed. We used to walk to the golf course and there was 2 parks with a main road going through it and some houses. Well I tried to crack it over the road and spin it on the other side. No luck I thinned it, hitting the kerb and rebounding through the nearest window. Cost me £36 pocket money that b*****d window...:-) 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Qbgrey 3,987 Posted June 23, 2013 Report Share Posted June 23, 2013 my mates dragged me round 18 holes,i tried to be serious,but when i was looking for me ball,the guys behind us t.eed off the ball nearly took me head off,so i trod his ball in the long grass..then i left a few balls on the greens,and some in the hole as we went round...its a good walk out,but i didnt enjoy it ....... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
albert64 1,882 Posted June 23, 2013 Report Share Posted June 23, 2013 Pmsl mate......Done the very same trick to my pal a good few years back. Gave him the ball, he teed it up and boom all this white shit covered the tee..I was rolling about the floor greetin.... Lol When I was younger trying to learn back spin I thought I had it sussed. We used to walk to the golf course and there was 2 parks with a main road going through it and some houses. Well I tried to crack it over the road and spin it on the other side. No luck I thinned it, hitting the kerb and rebounding through the nearest window. Cost me £36 pocket money that b*****d window...:-) them exploding balls are great, the look of horror on the blokes face, i'm pissing myself writing this nearly all the courses near me run along the Mersey, and one of the lads that plays with us is a right bad tempered little t**t and is forever changing his clubs blaming them for his bad shots so this day he drives off, hooks it straight in the Mersey so tees up his 3rd shot straight in the Mersey well I;m pissing myself like you do 5th shot off the tee yes straight in the Mersey so I says "its a tuff course this" well it sends him over the edge and he slings his brand new titleist driver towards the river were all in stitches as it lands on the other bank, he even missed the water he calms down abit and shouts to this bloke walking his dog "e'ah mate throw us that club back so my other pal says "make sure you give it a good throw mate" so the bloke throws it and it lands in the middle of the river, I had fecking belly ache he went mental at the poor bloke, threatening to throw his dog in 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Lab 10,979 Posted June 23, 2013 Report Share Posted June 23, 2013 Pmsl mate......Done the very same trick to my pal a good few years back. Gave him the ball, he teed it up and boom all this white shit covered the tee..I was rolling about the floor greetin.... Lol When I was younger trying to learn back spin I thought I had it sussed. We used to walk to the golf course and there was 2 parks with a main road going through it and some houses. Well I tried to crack it over the road and spin it on the other side. No luck I thinned it, hitting the kerb and rebounding through the nearest window. Cost me £36 pocket money that b*****d window...:-) them exploding balls are great, the look of horror on the blokes face, i'm pissing myself writing this nearly all the courses near me run along the Mersey, and one of the lads that plays with us is a right bad tempered little t**t and is forever changing his clubs blaming them for his bad shots so this day he drives off, hooks it straight in the Mersey so tees up his 3rd shot straight in the Mersey well I;m pissing myself like you do 5th shot off the tee yes straight in the Mersey so I says "its a tuff course this" well it sends him over the edge and he slings his brand new titleist driver towards the river were all in stitches as it lands on the other bank, he even missed the water he calms down abit and shouts to this bloke walking his dog "e'ah mate throw us that club back so my other pal says "make sure you give it a good throw mate" so the bloke throws it and it lands in the middle of the river, I had fecking belly ache he went mental at the poor bloke, threatening to throw his dog in Lol.....I didn't have a 4 iron for the very same reason. Played Thornton Golf Course. I was 2 over par going to the 16th which is about a 280 yard par 4. The tee sits above the green so it's easily drivable. I used to play with a driver and then next club was a 3 iron in the bag. Anyway this hole is littered with bunkers and a large burn flows down the left hand side. Decided to play safe with the 4 iron and splash, took another brand new ball out and splash...3 of the tee and splash..Started ranting and raving and shouting "you want to go in the f***ing water well there ye are then!!!" and launched ma 4 iron in......funny though... Lol Quote Link to post Share on other sites
mushroom 12,393 Posted June 23, 2013 Report Share Posted June 23, 2013 I tried it a few years ago got all kitted out took a few lessons.............lasted about a month i was bored to tears.........if your at the age where your minds ready to slow down it might be for you..............i found it f****n depressing ended up giving all the gear away ! Feck me that conjures up a strange Image ,,,,fecking great lump of a cockney geezer,,dressed in rupert trousers ...... :laugh: .........I had a bit of a Ronnie Corbett look going on but the skin tight diamond pringles seemed to raise a few eyebrows What a feckin mental image :laugh: Quote Link to post Share on other sites
albert64 1,882 Posted June 23, 2013 Report Share Posted June 23, 2013 another time we were playing heaton park municipal, and i'd took this young lad from work so there's 4 of us going along as you do, and I had a couple of bangers (fireworks) in my bag, yeah like you do lol so were coming up to the green and this blokes getting ready to tee off and he passes the usual alright you having a good un mate so I says yeah mate see you later, so said to the young lad go and light this firework behind my mate while he tees off so off the young lad goes with his firework lights it then boom!!!!!!!!!!!!!! this bloke chased him for about 15mins with not a chance of catching him all my mate was screaming was "that fat b*****d told me to do it" we all had a good laugh about it when he'd calmed down last time we all went to Brighouse bay we were there for 4 days on the first day not even unpacked one of the lads drove all the way back cos he had a nightmare round 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
The one 8,398 Posted June 23, 2013 Report Share Posted June 23, 2013 Aye labs your man , When golfers go to the pringle shop do they get shown threw the back these are the garish colours for colour blind golfers sir If your needing cheap golf balls lab will point you in the right direction 2 carrier bags full of golf balls here, retrieved from the rough wi my whippet Thats about one shift for my black dug she feeds the rest when i sell them at my work Quote Link to post Share on other sites
WILF 44,334 Posted June 23, 2013 Report Share Posted June 23, 2013 Was out for a meal tonight at a stunning East Lothian golf clubhouse,, bloodly lovely, sitting having a beer watching the coastal view,, added bonus being the course is inhabited by Hares, so watched Lepus wander. (Have watched around 30 Lepus today as was out stalking this morning) Anyway,,, the only time I have spent on golf courses is by moonlight, with lurchers, but after being there tonight, I fancy trying a round of golf, to see what the craic is. Any golfists here ? whats the story,,?? is it good , or what !? Like you, I am only ever on a golf course in the dark......my brother used to be very good and played all over the world until his back finally gave out I know loads of lads that play and they love it, not my cup of tea as I could never f***ing stand those two bob millionaires in an half circle at the bar talking loud......I know you get them everywhere but golf clubs seem to have more than their fair share, drive me f***ing mad ! Lol Quote Link to post Share on other sites
scothunter 12,609 Posted June 23, 2013 Report Share Posted June 23, 2013 Was out for a meal tonight at a stunning East Lothian golf clubhouse,, bloodly lovely, sitting having a beer watching the coastal view,, added bonus being the course is inhabited by Hares, so watched Lepus wander. (Have watched around 30 Lepus today as was out stalking this morning) Anyway,,, the only time I have spent on golf courses is by moonlight, with lurchers, but after being there tonight, I fancy trying a round of golf, to see what the craic is. Any golfists here ? whats the story,,?? is it good , or what !? Like you, I am only ever on a golf course in the dark......my brother used to be very good and played all over the world until his back finally gave out I know loads of lads that play and they love it, not my cup of tea as I could never f*****g stand those two bob millionaires in an half circle at the bar talking loud......I know you get them everywhere but golf clubs seem to have more than their fair share, drive me f*****g mad ! Lol there usually masons aswell lol Quote Link to post Share on other sites
mushroom 12,393 Posted June 24, 2013 Report Share Posted June 24, 2013 Aye Wilf loud mouths. I used to have permission on a golf course, funny as fec when the women used to complain about me wandering around with a gun and dog (staffy aswell lol) they put in a complaint to the head greenkeeper and president who told them they can either have several holes to choose from on the green and higher dues each year or put up :laugh: Gobby c**ts hated in when I used to have a beer in the club house dressed in my country best :laugh: 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
albert64 1,882 Posted June 24, 2013 Report Share Posted June 24, 2013 Was out for a meal tonight at a stunning East Lothian golf clubhouse,, bloodly lovely, sitting having a beer watching the coastal view,, added bonus being the course is inhabited by Hares, so watched Lepus wander. (Have watched around 30 Lepus today as was out stalking this morning) Anyway,,, the only time I have spent on golf courses is by moonlight, with lurchers, but after being there tonight, I fancy trying a round of golf, to see what the craic is. Any golfists here ? whats the story,,?? is it good , or what !? Like you, I am only ever on a golf course in the dark......my brother used to be very good and played all over the world until his back finally gave out I know loads of lads that play and they love it, not my cup of tea as I could never f*****g stand those two bob millionaires in an half circle at the bar talking loud......I know you get them everywhere but golf clubs seem to have more than their fair share, drive me f*****g mad ! Lol totally agree with you wilf, never thought i'd like it for the very same reason but you don't have to talk to them, had loads of run ins with the toffee nosed c***s Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Qbgrey 3,987 Posted June 24, 2013 Report Share Posted June 24, 2013 the club near me my mates head chef,he said with out the general public using the restaurant and bar it wouldnt survive,when having a beer in there a dappy pringled up golfer asked did i play,i said no im just keeping the place from going under..............and we had a contract to build a halfway house for tea ,etc on a posh private club,we had a buggy to get out to the site,....we allways got gobby young blokes asking what were building,one day a group of cockey lads came over and one shouted"oi son got any jobs going"?..........i looked up and said"no tar son weve allready got a tea boy"....hes mates were pissing em selves. and dont get me started on women golfers....f****n unreal......one posh women asked about site i said its a quad bike center the clubs need to diversify......she was up to the clubhouse like a shot Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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