no good news any more

[oakey 57]

Whats happened to the world? Every time you put the news on its something else to be scared of. Terrorist, Job loss, Fuel price,now you cant have a cough for more than three weeks . Whats happened to the funny bit at the end of the news like the horses that goes to the pub for a pint or the dog that says sausages the glass cant always be half empty .

[rob190364 2,594]

There is still funny news pal, have you not heard the latest one about a scotsman whos electricity tripped out and because he was too dense to find the trip switch he survived on the warmth of his mobile phone and by eating his own dogs......the dogs had so much weight on them that he survived for months and evolution started going in reverse until he actually went back to being a caveman. The person in question wasn't that far evolved from a caveman anyway so the whole process only took a couple of days. When they found him he was gibbering some rubbish about how he'd created his own stone age version of big brother in which he was the only candidate and his days were spent carrying out challenges where he had to roll his own stools down the stairs and see if he could race them to the bottom, he always won because the surviving dog he had kept eating the rolling stools thinking they were chocolate truffles which had been its staple diet before the whole episode began.

 

.....have you not heard that one?

[kenny14 656]

It's a shame but I think that as a nation as a whole, we prefer sad news, so that's what they tend to show. Maybe that's cos all the soaps etc seem to be full of woe (at least that's what I gather from the papers and radio, as I wouldn't watch them if they were the only things on TV).

 

While I'm having a little rant, I also believe that if a cure for cancer is ever found, the way things are it'll probably take up a small corner on page 8 of the tabloids, while the latest X-factor shite is splashed all across the front page .

[KittleRox 2,147]

There is still funny news pal, have you not heard the latest one about a scotsman whos electricity tripped out and because he was too dense to find the trip switch he survived on the warmth of his mobile phone and by eating his own dogs......the dogs had so much weight on them that he survived for months and evolution started going in reverse until he actually went back to being a caveman. The person in question wasn't that far evolved from a caveman anyway so the whole process only took a couple of days. When they found him he was gibbering some rubbish about how he'd created his own stone age version of big brother in which he was the only candidate and his days were spent carrying out challenges where he had to roll his own stools down the stairs and see if he could race them to the bottom, he always won because the surviving dog he had kept eating the rolling stools thinking they were chocolate truffles which had been its staple diet before the whole episode began.

 

.....have you not heard that one?

you,ve got some imagination lol

[kenny14 656]

There is still funny news pal, have you not heard the latest one about a scotsman whos electricity tripped out and because he was too dense to find the trip switch he survived on the warmth of his mobile phone and by eating his own dogs......the dogs had so much weight on them that he survived for months and evolution started going in reverse until he actually went back to being a caveman. The person in question wasn't that far evolved from a caveman anyway so the whole process only took a couple of days. When they found him he was gibbering some rubbish about how he'd created his own stone age version of big brother in which he was the only candidate and his days were spent carrying out challenges where he had to roll his own stools down the stairs and see if he could race them to the bottom, he always won because the surviving dog he had kept eating the rolling stools thinking they were chocolate truffles which had been its staple diet before the whole episode began.

 

.....have you not heard that one?

You are one sad man rob!

 

But that is very funny .

I just thought the electric was off because he was being a typical tight scotsman

[rob190364 2,594]

There is still funny news pal, have you not heard the latest one about a scotsman whos electricity tripped out and because he was too dense to find the trip switch he survived on the warmth of his mobile phone and by eating his own dogs......the dogs had so much weight on them that he survived for months and evolution started going in reverse until he actually went back to being a caveman. The person in question wasn't that far evolved from a caveman anyway so the whole process only took a couple of days. When they found him he was gibbering some rubbish about how he'd created his own stone age version of big brother in which he was the only candidate and his days were spent carrying out challenges where he had to roll his own stools down the stairs and see if he could race them to the bottom, he always won because the surviving dog he had kept eating the rolling stools thinking they were chocolate truffles which had been its staple diet before the whole episode began.

 

.....have you not heard that one?

You are one sad man rob!

 

But that is very funny .

I just thought the electric was off because he was being a typical tight scotsman

no, he's just a flid!

[Born Hunter 17,959]

Bad news sells! Simple as that.

[Guest thebigdog]

There is still funny news pal, have you not heard the latest one about a scotsman whos electricity tripped out and because he was too dense to find the trip switch he survived on the warmth of his mobile phone and by eating his own dogs......the dogs had so much weight on them that he survived for months and evolution started going in reverse until he actually went back to being a caveman. The person in question wasn't that far evolved from a caveman anyway so the whole process only took a couple of days. When they found him he was gibbering some rubbish about how he'd created his own stone age version of big brother in which he was the only candidate and his days were spent carrying out challenges where he had to roll his own stools down the stairs and see if he could race them to the bottom, he always won because the surviving dog he had kept eating the rolling stools thinking they were chocolate truffles which had been its staple diet before the whole episode began.

 

.....have you not heard that one?

 

:laugh: mad b*****d

[Swampy 147]

The glass is neither half full or half empty.....................Its just too fekin small!

Swampy

optimistic ning

[Malt 379]

Blame the current obsession with mass media coverage & 24 hour news channels. They used to say yesterdays news was old news, but nowadays even this morning's news is old news..

[jetro 5,349]

It's a shame but I think that as a nation as a whole, we prefer sad news, so that's what they tend to show. Maybe that's cos all the soaps etc seem to be full of woe (at least that's what I gather from the papers and radio, as I wouldn't watch them if they were the only things on TV).

 

While I'm having a little rant, I also believe that if a cure for cancer is ever found, the way things are it'll probably take up a small corner on page 8 of the tabloids, while the latest X-factor shite is splashed all across the front page .

love your avatar kenny 14.

atb,j.

[poacher3161 1,766]

And their dare not tell us the real bad news ah well as long as the rich keep getting richer and the poor keep getting poorer whos realy fekin botherd

[Born Hunter 17,959]

And their dare not tell us the real bad news ah well as long as the rich keep getting richer and the poor keep getting poorer whos realy fekin botherd

 

You're all sunshine and rainbows arn't ya! LOL

[poacher3161 1,766]

And their dare not tell us the real bad news ah well as long as the rich keep getting richer and the poor keep getting poorer whos realy fekin botherd

 

You're all sunshine and rainbows arn't ya! LOL

lol no i just dont give a flying feck any more

[Lab 10,979]

There is still funny news pal, have you not heard the latest one about a scotsman whos electricity tripped out and because he was too dense to find the trip switch he survived on the warmth of his mobile phone and by eating his own dogs......the dogs had so much weight on them that he survived for months and evolution started going in reverse until he actually went back to being a caveman. The person in question wasn't that far evolved from a caveman anyway so the whole process only took a couple of days. When they found him he was gibbering some rubbish about how he'd created his own stone age version of big brother in which he was the only candidate and his days were spent carrying out challenges where he had to roll his own stools down the stairs and see if he could race them to the bottom, he always won because the surviving dog he had kept eating the rolling stools thinking they were chocolate truffles which had been its staple diet before the whole episode began.

 

.....have you not heard that one?

:laugh:

Just been on the fife news that one...............Seemingly he has went insane after some fanny gave him a spelling lesson which reverted back to his childhood abuse from his English teacher...he has now been sighted driving south mutter the words "Al kill the english b*****d!!" and there is a shotgun missing from his home. Police have asked people to look out for an "Insanely good looking scotsman carrying a 12 bore shotgun!!"......