asanley 1,009 Posted October 17, 2011 Report Share Posted October 17, 2011 I got so tipsy once ...that I slurred some of my words :yes: Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Lab 10,979 Posted October 17, 2011 Report Share Posted October 17, 2011 I got so tipsy once ...that I slurred some of my words :yes: Dont tell f*****g lies eh!!!... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
B.P.R 2,798 Posted October 17, 2011 Report Share Posted October 17, 2011 Remembered this- we was all out on a night on the town in Glasgow. My mate had just started seeing this girl and he was organising to meet her that night. So we drank away and he wet outside to meet her. My girlfriend and my other mates missus followed him and as he kissed his new bird they both slapped him ' what the fcuk are you doing? You was with us last night and you havent seen your kid in ages( showing him a picture of my son) I can't believe I ever let you into my life'. He then got a slap of his new girlfriend 'your a prcik' while were pissing Ourselves round the corner! Sorted it out later but it was funny as fcuk Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Lab 10,979 Posted October 17, 2011 Report Share Posted October 17, 2011 Remembered this- we was all out on a night on the town in Glasgow. My mate had just started seeing this girl and he was organising to meet her that night. So we drank away and he wet outside to meet her. My girlfriend and my other mates missus followed him and as he kissed his new bird they both slapped him ' what the fcuk are you doing? You was with us last night and you havent seen your kid in ages( showing him a picture of my son) I can't believe I ever let you into my life'. He then got a slap of his new girlfriend 'your a prcik' while were pissing Ourselves round the corner! Sorted it out later but it was funny as fcuk That took a few reads to work out but got there in the end....... When any of my mates introduced a new girlfriend someone would always say "Fir fucks sake a thought you said she was braw??".......thought some of them were going to burst into tears... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Ossie 11 Posted October 17, 2011 Report Share Posted October 17, 2011 not one of mine, but a friends lad did this - he woke up in the morning after a night out, walked into the bathroom for a piss... and was greeted by a penguin sitting in the bath. turns out he'd hopped the fence into the local zoo the night before, and nicked the penguin. panicking, he tried to release onto a lake in the middle of a local town, but there were too many people about. so he took it to a field near the zoo he'd got it from, let it go there, then went to a phonebox & called the zoo with a "sighting" of their missing bird... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Lab 10,979 Posted October 17, 2011 Report Share Posted October 17, 2011 not one of mine, but a friends lad did this - he woke up in the morning after a night out, walked into the bathroom for a piss... and was greeted by a penguin sitting in the bath. turns out he'd hopped the fence into the local zoo the night before, and nicked the penguin. panicking, he tried to release onto a lake in the middle of a local town, but there were too many people about. so he took it to a field near the zoo he'd got it from, let it go there, then went to a phonebox & called the zoo with a "sighting" of their missing bird... one of the mates......we hear ye..... So he p-p-p-p-p-p-p-icked up a penguin.... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Carraghs Gem 1,675 Posted October 17, 2011 Report Share Posted October 17, 2011 my fella once shaved a neighbours prize pedigree bull calf the neighbour was raging mad over it but could never prove who did it Quote Link to post Share on other sites
fazza123 513 Posted October 17, 2011 Report Share Posted October 17, 2011 Once" borrowed " a moped and drove in to a nice pub and ordered a pint with my mate on the back ? Broke the moped and had to pay for a taxi to and from work for a week for the lad while it got fixed ?? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
scothunter 12,609 Posted October 17, 2011 Report Share Posted October 17, 2011 terrible things! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
lurchergrrl 1,441 Posted October 17, 2011 Report Share Posted October 17, 2011 Drove my mate home one night - on the wrong side of the road. Drove another mate home from a night club, on the motorway etc. Never had a license in my life and I was only marginally more sober than her. Not something I would ever do again, but we were young and stupid. Woke up one morning with a roadworks sign flashing the word 'CAUTION' at the foot of my bed. No idea where it came from to this day. Slept in parks, on benches etc. Woke up once in a flat somewhere in Toronto with about 20 other people all crashed on the floor. Sat on a passenger window of a car and sped past a heaving garden party with my boobs out lol Got called up on a stage at a nightclub for a contest - won $10 for being the fastest at getting a condom out of a packet and blowing it up like a balloon. Been chucked out of loads of clubs for fighting. Woke up once, safe at home, with nothing but a shoe and my knickers on and no sign of the rest of my clothes 16 years old, got so drunk I was being sick at the side of the road and my mother drove past and caught me. In a city of a couple of million people the odds on that were fair slim. Punched some guy and knocked him clean out for starting a fight with my boyfriend. Was duly dumped by boyfriend Skinny dipping in a lake at a wedding reception. Broke into an outdoor public pool and skinny dipped in that with a load of people. Busted the aerial off the back of a limo and played boomerang with it. Ah, the good old days. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Lab 10,979 Posted October 17, 2011 Report Share Posted October 17, 2011 Drove my mate home one night - on the wrong side of the road. Drove another mate home from a night club, on the motorway etc. Never had a license in my life and I was only marginally more sober than her. Not something I would ever do again, but we were young and stupid. Woke up one morning with a roadworks sign flashing the word 'CAUTION' at the foot of my bed. No idea where it came from to this day. Slept in parks, on benches etc. Woke up once in a flat somewhere in Toronto with about 20 other people all crashed on the floor. Sat on a passenger window of a car and sped past a heaving garden party with my boobs out lol Got called up on a stage at a nightclub for a contest - won $10 for being the fastest at getting a condom out of a packet and blowing it up like a balloon. Been chucked out of loads of clubs for fighting. Woke up once, safe at home, with nothing but a shoe and my knickers on and no sign of the rest of my clothes 16 years old, got so drunk I was being sick at the side of the road and my mother drove past and caught me. In a city of a couple of million people the odds on that were fair slim. Punched some guy and knocked him clean out for starting a fight with my boyfriend. Was duly dumped by boyfriend Skinny dipping in a lake at a wedding reception. Broke into an outdoor public pool and skinny dipped in that with a load of people. Busted the aerial off the back of a limo and played boomerang with it. Ah, the good old days. You sure your not Scottish..........? 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Wullz 408 Posted October 17, 2011 Report Share Posted October 17, 2011 Spiked the soles of both feet trying to climb the fence at Waverly station....first one hurt really badly, then I tried the other foot?? Red wine! This was 23rd December and then had to go to casualty and get the bits of rust picked out the holes in my feet with a raging hangover.... Woke up in the bucket of a JCB in Portobello..... Walked through the middle of a disco in France wearing a pair of reeboks and nowt else.......it was between the beach and my caravan....I knew where I was going. Drank so much at a rugby bash that I started doing involuntary backflips....Apparently....I cant remember, but I was very bruised the next day. Shagged my landlords girlfriend.......in his bed when he was playing football on a sunday morning.....he was a scary highlander too..... Loads more.....they will be in my memoirs.... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
lurchergrrl 1,441 Posted October 17, 2011 Report Share Posted October 17, 2011 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
hyperion 122 Posted October 17, 2011 Report Share Posted October 17, 2011 most stupid thing i've ever done whilst pissed was crash into the back of a cop car at 90mph while it was attending another car crash! mate of mine once passed out and collapsed onto an electric fence after downing a bottle on JD, we just left him there flopping about like a fish my ex mrs and me came back from the pub pissed, she couldnt find her house keys so tipped her handbag out on the doorstep and while she was rummaging through all her stuff i picked up her bag an puked my guts up into it! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
trenchfoot 4,243 Posted October 17, 2011 Report Share Posted October 17, 2011 Wrote " your all cnuts" with fertiliser across the neighbours front lawn. took a week to kick in, but grew it up all lovely, no matter how often he cut the grass it was still there. Tuck a can of special brew in the hand, and copy of razzle under the arm of Josia Wedgwood statue,outside Stoke on Trent station. Stuck my cock in the choclate fountain at a posh birds BBQ. She complained, so I stuck her cat in it and let it loose running round the house. I claimed it was equal opportunities as I had treated her pussy the same. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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