Face like a bag of smashed crabs!
He could sell sand to the Arabs!
Flat as a witches tit!
Mouth like Ghandi's flip flop!
Mouth like an Arabs dab!
As daft as a bottle of chips!
As dull as a hedge!
Too stupid to throw sh*t at!
If wit was made of rubber, you wouldn't have enough to make a flip flop for a one legged budgie!
Daft as ar*eholes!
I'm so tired, I could sleep on a chickens lip!