smithie

my senile mate keeps knocking on his own front door then going around the back to answer his own knocks... i dont think he knows what hes letting himself in for

whats 7 inches long with a puple head and women love it..........................................................a twenty pound note

Man in a hot air balloon is lost over Ireland. He looks down and sees a farmer in the fields and shouts to him ‘Where am I’??The Irish farmer looks back up and shouts back ‘Ya canna kid me ya flash b*****d. You’re in that feckin basket’.

i said to a girl in the pub last night "you remind me of my little toe" she said " is that cos im small and cute" i said " no its cos ill probably end up banging you on the coffee table"...

Ryan Giggs admitted today to suffering from homesickness saying that although he's happy in Machester he does Miss Wales now and again

woman sees sign outside a pet shop CLITORIS LICKING FROG £50... she goes in and asks to see the clitoris licking frog"the bloke behind the counter says BONJOUR

what do you get if you cross a motorway with a wheelbarrow?.............................................................................................................................................................knocked down you daft c**t

i wont ill just leave it upstairs with the other gun.... thanks for the intrest anyway

your £30 short.. £300 is my bottom line. wouldnt want you to drive here for nothing