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When was in Dubai there’s no bidet just a flexi pipe hose type thing squirt you arse with it warm water then used normal tissue paper to dry not a bit of shit on the paper once said to mrs wanna get one them . No good for the ring piece all that wiping 

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f**k off they died out in the 80's...remember getting my little brother to drink out of my old nanna's one ??

well im going back some years now in fact i think i did post the topic on here but i had a gas check done at my home, the gas man asked if he could use my toilet, sure i said , anyhow a  while later m

Went out to my back garden earlier on to feed the birds, sewage all over the place and what a stink, the force of the back log lifted the manhole cover off ive had this problem a few years back,

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Just now, W. Katchum said:

You use your own hand?☹️
 

id rather use a fcukkng rag on a stick like the Romans did?

Hang on.... I never said I use a finger ?‍♂️?

I give a quick wipe with the old scrunch and fold technique then jump in the shower.... I'm a regular morning guy ?

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1 minute ago, mushroom said:

A finger to clean your bum with ???

Really? Is that what you're supposed to do? Get your hand involved ?. I know the carpet jockeys do that with a little plastic watering can to swill with. 

My mate works in a slaughter house doing maintenance. I'm not sure where their slaughter men are from these days but he keeps mending the toilet seats as the fuckers are squatting on them with their feet on the seat ?

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I could tell you some  stories about playing around with other people's shit... But I'm eating my tea?.... I've got to climb inside a septic tank next week and try and reseal it from the inside for one of my directors ? boys botched it when they put it in?

2 minutes ago, W. Katchum said:

I’m very surprised any my siblings even talk to me ?

They only talk to me when they want something built because I'm the grafter of the bunch or something pts and buried. 

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5 minutes ago, DIDO.1 said:

Really? Is that what you're supposed to do? Get your hand involved ?. I know the carpet jockeys do that with a little plastic watering can to swill with. 

My mate works in a slaughter house doing maintenance. I'm not sure where their slaughter men are from these days but he keeps mending the toilet seats as the fuckers are squatting on them with their feet on the seat ?

Squatting is better for you lol 

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4 minutes ago, DIDO.1 said:

Really? Is that what you're supposed to do? Get your hand involved ?. I know the carpet jockeys do that with a little plastic watering can to swill with. 

My mate works in a slaughter house doing maintenance. I'm not sure where their slaughter men are from these days but he keeps mending the toilet seats as the fuckers are squatting on them with their feet on the seat ?

You find a lot of bars, takeaways etc here are missing toilet seats for that very reason ;)

Filthy! tbh I will walk out of anywhere with dirty shitters ?

It is one of those things though. In Blighty we are lucky to have proper sewerage and plumbing. Who remembers the old French squat shitters? ?

I've seen showers here in peoples gaffs that are over the toilet... basically a shitter wet room, the size of a large shower cubicle.

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9 minutes ago, W. Katchum said:

I ain’t putting boiler on to wash my arse every time I shite, away with you rich folk ?

Fckin hell you can tell your a jock and a Yorkshire jock at that..... 

"I know it's -10 degrees outside but tha's no avin warm water to wash your arse with Margaret" 

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31 minutes ago, mushroom said:

Barcelona can stink to high heaven in the summer ?

As I said it's usually in the old and low lying areas that have issues. Also in the more rustic areas too ;)

I've been a few different places in Spain when I was a kid and thats always stuck in my mind how much it fecking stunk, is there open sewers like ditches of shite?

 Malta was bad too.

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Just now, gnipper said:

I've been a few different places in Spain when I was a kid and thats always stuck in my mind how much it fecking stunk, is there open sewers like ditches of shite?

 Malta was bad too.

We got lucky in Blighty for sure. Back in them days when the systems were being built, Europe wasn't what it is now. The Latin and Med countries really did a poor job, it'll do basically. 

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They have little bins like the jam rag bins we have for the bog roll don't they? I remember getting to the Maltese Hotel about 2 am gasping for a drink and discovering the fecking sea comes out of the taps ?

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