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Tales From The Beer Tent .


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The nice weather is here and it got me to thinking of the tall stories I've heard over the years . I was only a teenager when I heard this one but it stays with me as it drew everyone in lol. You know the craic lads the more ale that was drunk the longer the courses got and the deeper the digs where dug. Anyway after listening to a few men one old timer pipes up with this one . He said that he had heard of a good coursing lurcher bitch that was for sale , he knew the man that was selling the dog was known to have a good coursing dogs. So he takes he's money with him sees the man selling the bitch and says what she like to which the seller says "you won't go hungry with this bitch". He buys the bitch but wants a trial first so the next day he collects the bitch and takes her to a place where there is some good hares. He said as he was walking he spies a great big hare about the size of an uncut loaf of bread. He says he walks to the hare and it jumps up and runs away . He said he wanted to give this bitch a good run so he gives the hare plenty of law. He slips the bitch and she makes up the ground in no time . Twist bend every jink and turn was describe . He says the hare goes down a deep ditch in the break of the field. The bitch is right on its arse the both go out of sight for a second then the hare comes out up the bank and away but no sign of the bitch . He said at first he thought the bitch had jacked then he said it started to go throw he's mind that she might've broke a leg . So he runs across the field to the the ditch to see what had happened, by now the other men had put down their pints a where leaning in. He paused for a second when he said , I got to the ditch to find the bitch had her foot on a trout as long as your arm lol. Everyone looked at each other and busted out laughing , one man listening said you lying old fooker ! He said well you where all doing it so I'd thought I'd have a go ?.

So what's the best story you've heard lads ?

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One that sticks in my mind was an old boy walking his terrier when a large bird of prey picked it up and started having it away so the old boy.was screaming at the bird and flaying his arms when the bird dropped the terrier only for it to land on a hare which it killed instantly,walking over to pick up the hare he found a £5 note underneath it so to celebrate his luck he stopped.at the pub for a pint on his way home,he ordered a pint handed over the fiver and the barmaid gave him change for a £20 by mistake,now that's lucky

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One that sticks in my mind was an old boy walking his terrier when a large bird of prey picked it up and started having it away so the old boy.was screaming at the bird and flaying his arms when the bird dropped the terrier only for it to land on a hare which it killed instantly,walking over to pick up the hare he found a £5 note underneath it so to celebrate his luck he stopped.at the pub for a pint on his way home,he ordered a pint handed over the fiver and the barmaid gave him change for a £20 by mistake,now that's lucky

Beauty mate LOL Great title for a book Darcy :hmm::thumbs:

 

Cheers, D.

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Great idea for a thread!

 

I've never been to a show, I can only imagine the amount of cringe inducing bollocks that's spouted in the beer tents. Been into a few pubs with the dogs over the years and always seem to find some mupped who owns/owned the Bruce lee of the dogs world who feels the need to tell me all about it. I'd probably need to leave if there were 200 of them at once in a beer tent all at it.

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A mate told me this one , he said he was stood in the pub when this man that is known for a tall story comes in with both hands in plaster caste . Anyway nobody's asked him how he's broke both hands when a green lad asks him how he managed to brake both hands, while everyone rolls there eyes sighs as if to say here we go . He said my father and I where spraying barns for extra money, now I'm up the ladder thirty foot up when a gust of wind blows the ladder away from the barn and I start falling. The green lad chips in " oh so is that how you broke both hands trying to brake your fall ? No says the man , the wind has blown the ladder away a few times in the past and so what I usually do is somersault and land nicely . But this time as I'm falling and I'm going over some stables with asbestos roof , I do my somersault and go feet first through the asbestos stable roof . I land in a crouch perfectly , but I've landed behind this big stallion and I've startled him as I've crashed through the roof .so the stallions kicks out as I'm in my crouched position landing and as he kicks I catch he's two hoofs and that's how I broke both my hands ?.

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There's an old character in our village that has told this tale so often that he believes it.

There was a beautiful cock pheasant that used to be out picking in a field not to far from his house and try as he might he could never get a shot at it.

For a few season he'd regularly try to get near the old cock bird to shoot him but the pheasant would always see him first and get away.

Anyways, one day he seen the bird out picking and as he was downwind he crept up close enough to the bird.

The bird flew quickly into the air and he put his gun to his shoulder to fire.

As he looked down the barrels he suddenly felt sorry for the bird that he now felt was an old friend and put the gun back down.

As the bird was flying away he looked back to see why there was no "bang" and as he did he flew into a telegraph pole and broke his neck.

 

Another character I know reckons he lost his brilliant pointer one time in a huge field of barley.

He didn't find it 'till the barley was cut weeks later and at that stage it was now a skeleton, and was still pointing.

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There's an old character in our village that has told this tale so often that he believes it.

There was a beautiful cock pheasant that used to be out picking in a field not to far from his house and try as he might he could never get a shot at it.

For a few season he'd regularly try to get near the old cock bird to shoot him but the pheasant would always see him first and get away.

Anyways, one day he seen the bird out picking and as he was downwind he crept up close enough to the bird.

The bird flew quickly into the air and he put his gun to his shoulder to fire.

As he looked down the barrels he suddenly felt sorry for the bird that he now felt was an old friend and put the gun back down.

As the bird was flying away he looked back to see why there was no "bang" and as he did he flew into a telegraph pole and broke his neck.

 

Another character I know reckons he lost his brilliant pointer one time in a huge field of barley.

He didn't find it 'till the barley was cut weeks later and at that stage it was now a skeleton, and was still pointing.

lol good uns ?
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