strange sayings

[ulverston moocher 60]

one i heard today (beat it like a red headed step child)

when any one is swinnging a hammer my dad says hit it like hitting a black man off ya sister

[ulverston moocher 60]

A few more

 

got a throat like gandhi's flip flop.

 

sweating like a turkish wrestlers jock strap.

 

tight as a crabs arse

 

play with feathers get your arse tickeld

[ulverston moocher 60]

couldnt hit a bulls arse with a barn door

[secretagentmole 1,701]

i'll tell you something for free!!! who the f**k charges to tell you something??

 

118 118.....

[lurcher330 2,301]

im sweating like a peado in a barney suit

[lurcher330 2,301]

that chap's as gay as christmas

[ulverston moocher 60]

as camp as butlins or a row of tents

 

if my granny had balls she'd be my grandad

[Lab 10,979]

"He does mare greetin than a christmas card"..

[scothunter 12,609]

sweating like a nigger on a rape charge

 

or

 

sweating like a jew on a freight train

[Malt 379]

Here's one that tickles me:

 

'Am gan tae get mah messages fae the shop..'

 

No Scot can explain to me how shopping came to be known as messages, they just look at me like I'm daft for asking! Even when I try to say I thought that a message was a piece of information passed from one source to another, not a few tins of beans and a loaf of bred, they still don't get what I'm trying to say..

[scothunter 12,609]

meaning small groceries shopping, or little tasks you need to do 'doon the toon'

Your messages are the everyday shopping (usually food shopping) for the household. The word originally came from the sense of message meaning mission or errand, and was extended to messages to mean the things bought/done on this errand. Messages are normally things like a loaf of bread or pint of milk, for example you wouldn't really call your big supermarket shopping your messages. The terms: "Go your messages" and "Do your messages" are very commonly used. You would usually go your messages at the local wee shops as opposed to big high street chain stores (unless you are going to Scotmid or the Co-op which are a chain of small local grocery shops). Tasks like buying a newspaper or a lottery ticket, or paying for your daily milk/newspaper delivery can also be included as messages.

There is some debate as to whether this word is uniquely Scottish, apparently it is also used in Lancashire.

 

maybe some lancashire lads can confirm or deny this?

[Malt 379]

Thanks for that Scot!

[scothunter 12,609]

Thanks for that Scot!

 

your very welcome lol

[Mooch. 177]

I can't stand it when people claim to have graduated from the "University of Life". Just feck off with your fecking University of fecking Life!

[scothunter 12,609]

I can't stand it when people claim to have graduated from the "University of Life". Just feck off with your fecking University of fecking Life!

 

yea thats quite annoying actually, pretentious c**ts lol