You know when you have been in this game for to long

[Guest Scuba1]

When..............

 

1. You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.

 

2. You can entertain yourself for more than 15 minutes with a fly swatter.

 

3. Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.

 

4. You burn your yard rather than mow it.

 

5. You think "The Nutcracker" is something you do off the high dive.

 

6. The Salvation Army declines your furniture.

 

7. You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and they don't want it.

 

8. You have the local taxidermist on speed dial.

 

9. You come back from the dump with more than you took.

 

10. You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.

 

11. Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.

 

12. Your grandmother has "ammo" on her Christmas list.

 

13. You keep flea and tick soap in the shower.

 

14. You've been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.

 

15. You go to the stock car races and don't need a program.

 

16. You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.

 

17. You have a rag for a gas cap.

 

18. Your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.

 

19. You wonder how service stations keep their rest-rooms so clean.

 

20. You can spit without opening your mouth.

 

21. You consider your license plate personalized because your father made it.

 

22. Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.

 

23. You have a complete set of salad bowls -- and they all say "Cool Whip" on the side.

 

24. The biggest city you've ever been to is Wal-Mart.

 

25. Your working TV sits on top of your non-working TV.

 

26. You've used your ironing board as a buffet table.

 

27. A tornado hits your neighborhood and does $100,000 worth of improvements.

 

28. You've used a toilet brush to scratch your back.

 

29. You missed your 5th grade graduation because you were on jury duty.

 

30. You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65.

 

31. You look for the largest gap in the hedge to get through

 

32. You have a battery charger where the toaster used to be.

 

33. You have THL as your first bookmark

 

34. Your `huntin dawg' cost more than the car you drive

him around in.

 

35. You've been to a funeral and there were more pick-ups

than cars.

 

36. when the rattling in your pocket isnt loose change.............its PELLETS.

 

37. You own a homemade fur coat.

 

38. You think loading the dishwasher means getting your

wife drunk.

 

39. the wife thinks the dogs smell better than you..

 

40. every time you fart you have to check for a wet patch..

 

41. you start calling modern music a 'bloody racket!'

 

42. your idea of high quality entertainment is a six pack and a bug zapper

 

43.Anyone in your family died right after saying, "Hey, watch this!".

 

44. On Thanksgiving Day you have to decide which pet to

eat.

 

45. Your coffee table used to be a cable spool.

 

46. You hammer bottle caps into the frame of your front

door to make it look nice.

 

47. You think a hot tub is a stolen bathroom fixture.

 

48. The gas pedal on your car is shaped like a bare foot.

 

49. You think the French Riviera is a foreign car.

 

50. You think that Dom Perignon is a mafia leader.

 

51. You do your serious Christmas shopping at the petrol station.

 

52. You ever named a child after a dog.

 

53. You removed the back seat from your car so all yer

kids and dogs could fit in.

 

54. The centerpiece on your dining room table is an

original signed work by a famous taxidermist.

 

55. You lit a match in the bathroom and your house

exploded right off its wheels.

 

56. Your huntin' dawg had a litter of puppies in the

living room and nobody noticed.

 

57. You think safe sex is a padded headboard.

 

58. You think subdivision is part of a math problem.

 

59. All your socks are odd through mid lamping emergencies

 

60. You and your teeth no longer sleep together.

 

61. You ever caused a traffic jam during rush hour, because you where counting the rabbits on a roundabout.

 

62. You think watching professional wrestling is foreplay.

 

63. Your front porch collapses and four dogs git killed.

 

64. You start scratching at the door to be let out before the dog

 

 

 

 

 

ATB

 

Michael

Edited June 27, 2009 by Scuba1

[coursing mad 5]

[fragle 1]

 

like number 1 & 21

[N E poacher 4]

[stealthy1 3,964]

[poacher3161 1,766]

You look older than your oldest dog and you look for the largest gap in the hedge to get through.atvb

[Guest Scuba1]

32. You have THL as your first bookmark

[dawnraider09 75]

ticked off 1,2,4,9,10,16,20,25,26,28 i also have a battery charger where the toaster used to be.

[Guest foxyjo.]

Loved it!!!

[Guest Scuba1]

if you come up with any more, I'll add them to the first post and we'll see how far we get

 

Come on then

 

ATB

 

Michael

[SEAN3513 7]

when the rattling in your pocket isnt loose change.............its PELLETS !!!

[Malt 379]

When the wife thinks the dogs smell better than you..

 

When every time you fart you have to check for a wet patch..

 

When you start calling modern music a 'bloody racket!'

[just jack 998]

when havving a richard III, YOUR spuds are in the WATER, not your TADGER

[Guest Scuba1]

when havving a richard III, YOUR spuds are in the WATER, not your TADGER

 

Now thats just normal old age mate.

 

ATB

 

Michael

[bedrock 16]

I like that!