Someone I know on here went to the doctors the other week, he was complaining about being unable to open his bowels because his piles was giving him some gyp.
After a thorough examination the doctor prescribed some suppositries, and asked to see him in a weeks time.
The following week he returned to the doctors, and the doctor asked if the suppositries had helped, he replied" for what fooking good they did me, I may aswell have shoved them up my arse"
The moral of this story, is never sit on cold steps lol and always read the instruction leaflet.