christian71
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Everything posted by christian71
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I saw a woman in the supermarket, struggling to control her kids. She looked really stressed. Then she accidently knocked over and smashed a bottle of milk. She dropped to her knees and burst into tears, surrounded by spilled milk. It reminded me of something my dad used to say to my mum, so I walked over to her and said; "Get a fu(king grip, you stupid bitch."
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Yes belting deal go for it mate No before christmas i was getting them £2.50 a box they are now £3.00 a box with about 30 in with the necks on aswell.
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Reminds me of that video of earth & labtastic doing the rounds
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i heard that too. is he still on tag and down loading dodgy images on the net?? heard he was also on face book,user name- Kwissy age- 12 should lock the filthy erchin up!! Thats the fella...... i believe the 71 stands for pubic hairs he has........ He will not leave me alone on here, he's obsessed.....weirdo Dont get me mixed up with 2b25 lab And earth i got off with all them things i had a good solicitor recommened by ken dood
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I was watching that programme with all those gypsies on the other day what was it called oh yeah crime watch
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class mate
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last price drop £180 no offers or timewaisters Why arn't these selling. Would have had one but a bit too far for me. ATB Ashley That old chesnut. If you want one go and fu(king get one dosnt matter how far they are if you really want one.
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Gary Nevilles 1st game working for Sky. "Liverpool were a disgrace, they tried to intimidate the ref n kicked Drogba all over the pitch. They're slow at the back n weak up front, Gerrards past it n shud av been sent off" MARTIN TYLER; Fair comment Gary but this is Spurs v Stoke
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30 things only us men do: 1. Look in the tissue after blowing our nose. 2. Touch hot things, Just to see how hot it is. 3. Set off early, And arrive late. 4. Order food, And still keep looking at the menu. 5. Fart and be proud. 6. Put a sick joke as our status. 7. Beep at girls. 8. Dance to the toilet when out clubbing. 9. Call everyone mate. 10. Dance back from the toilet. 11. Put mobile phone in our front right pocket. 12. Check our phone for no reason. 13. Have a jar for loose change. 14. Hit snooze at least 3 times. 15. Moan about the weather, when inside. 16. Stub our t
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f*****g beauty tae.................not like ye.. Press the rep button then lab I cant............some wee bent shot has got it super glued down by the looks of things...... Probably EARTH
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f*****g beauty tae.................not like ye.. Press the rep button then lab
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Teacher to class, "Children, we are all descendants of Adam & Eve". Pupil, "But Miss, my Mommy and Daddy said we came from apes". Teacher: "Stay out of this one Leroy, I'm not talking about your fu(king lot! "Sometimes, my secretary reminds me of my wife. I was unbuttoning her shirt the other day during our lunch break when she says "Remember, you have a wife."
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I read something the other day that made me piss myself. It was a sign that said "Toilets closed
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A guy broke into my house last week. He didn't take the TV, just the remote. Now he drives by and changes the channels. Sick b@stard.
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You know a girl is in to you if you put your hand down her pants and it feels like you're feeding a horse.
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A Wife ask her Husband, "What do you like most about me? My pretty face? or my sexy ass?" The Husband replied, "Your sense of humour." Watching the wife clothes-shopping is a lot like Derek Acorah. There's no way either of them are a fecking medium.
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Eskimo child asks his mum what is for tea. 'Vera Lynn burgers' she replied. To which the child replied 'Oh not Whale meat again'
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Two blokes walk into a bar, First bloke says to the bar man,A pint for me please,And one for the Donkey,pointing to the second bloke. After a few pints the first bloke goes to the toilet,So the Bar man spotting his opportunity asks the second bloke, Why: Does He always refer to You as a Donkey? Second Bloke Replies, Hee Aw, Hee Aw, He Always calls me that.
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report's are coming in of an intruder on the liverpool team bus...........apparently the driver caught fernando torre's hiding on the back seat!!
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FOR SALE - SPEAGLE and PATTERDALE X LAKELAND
christian71 replied to snoopywoody1979's topic in Working Dogs & Livestock
Theres only one language ENGLISH -
Read he can fecking email them
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My girlfriend thinks I'm a stalker, well she's not actually my girlfriend yet.... I got home from the pub last night and my wife said, "I can't believe how intoxicated you are." Denying it I said, "I'm not drunk." She said, "Yes you are." I said, "No I'm fu(king not." She said, "Can you tell the time?" I walked up to the clock and said, "I'm not fu(king drunk."
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A kid gave his teacher a blank piece of paper. Teacher: What is this? Kid: It's a drawing of a cow eating grass. Teacher: (looked at the paper) Where's the grass? Kid: The cow ate all of it. ...Teacher: (looked at the paper again)Then, where's the cow? Kid: It Fu(ked off because there was no more grass. Women should be like golf caddies Either holding your balls or getting your tee ready!
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Booked a table for me and the mrs for valentines day. Will probably end in tears though, she's shit at snooker. My missus said that my cock reminds her of her favourite supermarket. I said, "Why, because it's well stocked and capable of supplying you with your every need?" "No," she replied. "Because it's Lidl."
