· I’m living next door to a lebanese couple at the moment. They have 3 little kids and they’ve challenged me to a water fight in the back yard, so I’m just writing to you while the kettle boils!
· Can you spare just £2? Ranji is a 9yr old boy living in Namibia . He has only 1 leg, 1 arm and 1 eye. Each day he has to ride 7 miles to school along a narrow road on a rusty bike with bent wheels, no brakes and only 1 pedal. If you send us just £2, we will send you the video – its f***ing hilarious.
· I’ve caught a stray parrot in my garden. All he says is, "good morning you ugly prick?" It’s