alcohol problems

[hagar 5]

I was married to an alcoholic for 12 years she used to fly into violent rages over the slightest thing eg 1 night while she was at work i ate a small bowl of ice cream that she said belonged to her i only had a little in the hope she wouldnt notice but as i had had a jamaican cigar or 2 i put the tub back in the fridge not the freezer this caused her to hit me on the head with a bottle of ketchup

eventully i left her got myself sorted and my 11 year old daughter came to live with me

and life turned out good for me though not so good for the x as she has suffered a string of violent alcoholics and druggies since though they are probably trying to defend themselves my advice is dont stand for it mental abuse is as bad as physical a man who abuses women is not a man only an animal with no spine and a woman who does it is no better

If you have a drink problem you will only solve it if you want to talking is the 1st step admitting it to yourself is the 2nd if you need help get it if you cant do that then go live alone

[valerio 32]

I've had a problem with cocaine addiction,and I don't stopped untill I had finished all my savings from year of hard work,lost all my friends and half killed a woman while driving my truck.One day I started to think that I was destroing my life,I had it the bottom and stopped,I've had terrible days,forcing myself not to go out.Now it's 2 years and 11 mounths that I'm drug free,but I still think about it and every time I go out I fight a battle with myself.The only one that can help is yourself.

Edited September 27, 2008 by valerio

[hagar 5]

I've had a problem with cocaine addiction,and I don't stopped untill I had finished all my savings from year of hard work,lost all my friends and half killed a woman while driving my truck.One day I started to think that I was destroing my life,I had it the bottom and stopped,I've had terrible days,forcing myself not to go out.Now it's 2 years and 11 mounths that I'm drug free,but I still think about it and every time I go out I fight a battle with myself.The only one that can help is yourself.

That is so true

[Guest foxyjo.]

There's some very brave people on here...much respect to you all.

[Malt 379]

RH, you sound like my brother mate. Every time he argues with his Mrs, when he's p*ssed, he lashes out at something. He got done a few months ago, for smashing wing mirrors of parked cars. Since then, he's broken both of his hands punching walls, which would be bad enough, but he's a plasterer, and he's damaging the tools of his trade. He's done permanent damage to his right hand & wrist.

 

I'd talk to someone if I was you mate before you either end up in court for criminal damage, or you do yourself a lasting injury.

 

Either that, or get yourself a fecking punch bag!

[Guest oneredtrim]

.

Edited September 28, 2008 by oneredtrim

[hue jeers 6]

Soooo, anyway..... Does anybody have any advice on "kicking the habit" (except for the obvious, use your will-power etc....)

 

Same as stopping smoking I reckon mate.

 

When you know you have had enough you will stop, only you can be the judge of that.

 

As for sitting with a can in your hand, I do pretty much most of the time, it gets to be a habit and for the most part, a very nice one.

 

These Computer thing's don't help, they are time consuming when other more important stuff get's neglected, including loved one's and are a form of addiction themselves.

 

You know you've been a bit of a silly fecker so that is the hard part done.

 

Start getting up in the morning and watching the Sun come up, busy yourself through the day and be tired of a night time and you really won't want much Ale old lad.

 

Do more Physical exercise than mental exercise and you will soon find the benefits.

 

Good luck and as a bloke called tufty on here's avatar once said........................

 

'Stop being a c*nt'

[cragman 2,644]

It's not as easy as you think, to pack the booze in. I have someone very near and dear to me who's wrecking their lives and the lives of those who love them and although I hate to say it, I can only see one way out of it for them. I used to work with a guy who went the same way. He was 31 when he hung himself a couple of years back, all through the demon drink. It's frustrating watching them self destruct, you feel like shaking them and pointing out the obvious but it's futile, they'll do what THEY like NOT you. The pattern is repetitive, ie, good moods, sounding ok then suddenly they're gone on a bender for days...then they're back with you again and looking and sounding ok. The lies start then, excuses, just to get at some booze. I've seen a good mate perish and the same is happening again with someone I know. If you've a problem with booze or your loved one has, you have my sympathy. I wish I had an answer for it.

[davyt63 1,845]

The hiding of money bits very true , thats what i have to do but they borrow money from others , i have found bottles of all sorts off gut rot , cheap crap empty cans that i know havent been brought by me hidden in the house , laying in bed all day only to surface 20 mins before afternoon shift , then sitting up till 4am on returning home, its an existence not a life

 

That is such a sad post, Kay. Can I ask why you continue to share your life with someone so selfish?

 

The fear of the unknown basically & the fact i have never been hit , i know there poor excuses , i just aint brave enough basically

 

If you have put up with that for a long time, I reckon you must be pretty brave!

 

Make sure you do things you enjoy, try to make good supportive friends outside of your relationship.... never lose sight of who you are, or who you want to be.

 

Then one day, if he still hasn't changed, you'll know the time is right to move on, because you deserve to get more out of a relationship than just not being hit ... and I bet you wont be as scared as you thought you would be!

 

Your right , its just making the move forward thats scarey , i do my own thing , its not bad all the time just some of the time , i gave up yelling & giving ultimatums a long time ago the drinks more important seemingly , its hard trying to explain to someone who hasnt lived with a boozer .

 

I think people who drink to excess have no feelings it numbs them to reality , example 3 weeks ago i totally flipped i basically went mad due to money worries & while in a complete rage i yelled screamed etc frustration i suppose , now i would have thought the most natural thing to do for a person witnessing this fit of rage would be to reasure the person, comfort etc , i got a blank look & he carried on about his business , totally oblivious to the fact i was on the edge of sanity

 

So once more i drag myself up off the bones of my arse & get on with life , i am always happy & i cant be down for long so once i had exploded i felt totally normal again , it proves i can make it on my own & i find being miserable hard work , i have tried to be miserable but i cant do it

my partner told me this is it she was of i talked her in to staying with me and what a wake up .i very rarely get drunk now i still have tho odd pint now and then .but some times it may be 4 weeks without a drink loosing my partner to drink wasn't going to happen so i fought for what i know is important to me.what I'm trying to say is if you tell him your leaving him if he thinks your worth fighting for and he loves you he will change. sorry to be blunt but just saying what happened to me.much better now more hunting less drinking and she still mones about the amount of time I'm out hunting LOL

Regards

 

DAVY

[davyt63 1,845]

unless you control the drink IT WILL CONTROL YOU

[higgins 75]

that must have taken you into the realms of incognito self awareness,the bit that you think why do i do it?There must be a question in your mind that is trying to find out why you drink in the first place.I expect this topic will continue for a long time,as many seemingly 'ordinary' people binge drink(and i must include myself in this category,i say anyone who has a sip of ANY alcoholic drink and has a good feeling from it,in my mind is an alcoholic OR POTENTIAL ALCOHOLIC , full stop!)You are not alone,but the fact that you have recognised your own shamefullness in what drink does to you,is a positive thing.What you do now with this information is either to resolve to stay off drink completeley,or to have a drink now and again(family special occasions etc;),or to NOT HAVE A DRINK EVER AGAIN UNDER WHATEVER CIRCUMSTANCES,the choice is yours,and believe me when i say 'choice',you either choose to drink or not,but ultimateley the 'choice' rests with you!This must have taken an unbelievable amount of courage on your part and i think most people on here will agree and support you even if they like drinking(because deep down they know it's bound to cause themselves trouble later if they don't control it!)I think you are a brave fella for bringing this subject up,and i sincerely hope you find the perfect solution for your needs,before i go can i recommend a book,i haven't read this book but the fella who wrote it has a high success rate,at the end of the day reading this book may make sense or not,but i don't think anything will be lost by reading what he has to say,the author is Allen Carr and he is a respected writer of pyschological addictions,all i can say is before you do anything else(you can probably still drink till you've read the book)just read the book with an open mind and a can or bottle in your hand as you have will probably will have to do it this way,just absorb what he says ....You have raised an important topic on here and it's about time everyone RECOGNISED THE IMPORTANCE OF IT.

Higgins.

Ps the book will probably be called 'The Easy Way To.......followed by whatever substance you are addicted to,i'm sure if you google it just Allen Carr or Easy Way will bring the list of books up.

[eric 0]

I was married to an alcoholic for 12 years she used to fly into violent rages over the slightest thing eg 1 night while she was at work i ate a small bowl of ice cream that she said belonged to her i only had a little in the hope she wouldnt notice but as i had had a jamaican cigar or 2 i put the tub back in the fridge not the freezer this caused her to hit me on the head with a bottle of ketchup

eventully i left her got myself sorted and my 11 year old daughter came to live with me

and life turned out good for me though not so good for the x as she has suffered a string of violent alcoholics and druggies since though they are probably trying to defend themselves my advice is dont stand for it mental abuse is as bad as physical a man who abuses women is not a man only an animal with no spine and a woman who does it is no better

If you have a drink problem you will only solve it if you want to talking is the 1st step admitting it to yourself is the 2nd if you need help get it if you cant do that then go live alone

well said hagar you and kay should hookup and run off to gether

[Kay 3,709]

I was married to an alcoholic for 12 years she used to fly into violent rages over the slightest thing eg 1 night while she was at work i ate a small bowl of ice cream that she said belonged to her i only had a little in the hope she wouldnt notice but as i had had a jamaican cigar or 2 i put the tub back in the fridge not the freezer this caused her to hit me on the head with a bottle of ketchup

eventully i left her got myself sorted and my 11 year old daughter came to live with me

and life turned out good for me though not so good for the x as she has suffered a string of violent alcoholics and druggies since though they are probably trying to defend themselves my advice is dont stand for it mental abuse is as bad as physical a man who abuses women is not a man only an animal with no spine and a woman who does it is no better

If you have a drink problem you will only solve it if you want to talking is the 1st step admitting it to yourself is the 2nd if you need help get it if you cant do that then go live alone

well said hagar you and kay should hookup and run off to gether

 

Whats that supposed to mean f**k OFF

[eric 0]

:wacko: i can

[FLATTOP 3,688]

Sounds like you have a lot of energy to burn when you are on the drink, sounds extreme but ever considered doing the Tough guy competition when you get into the training regime you wont even consider ruining what you are preparing for i have done it three times two winters and a summer took my mind off of everything. All the best Bill.

 

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