mackem 29,695 Posted May 22, 2008 Report Share Posted May 22, 2008 Win A Council House -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Win a Council House WIN A COUNCIL HOUSE Good morning and welcome to a brand new edition of 'ASYLUM'. Today's program features another chance to take part in our exciting competition: Hijack an airliner and win a council house! We've already given away hundreds of millions of pounds and thousands of dream homes, courtesy of our sponsor the British Taxpayer. And don't forget, we're now the fastest growing game on the planet. Anyone can play, provided they don't already hold a valid British passport, and you only need one word of English: 'ASYLUM'!. Prizes include all-expenses-paid accommodation, cash benefits starting at £180 a week and a chance to earn thousands more begging, mugging and accosting drivers at traffic lights. This competition is open to everyone buying a ticket or stowing away on one of our partner airlines, ferry companies or Eurostar. No application ever refused reasonable or unreasonable. All you have to do is destroy all your papers and remember the magic password: 'ASYLUM'. Only this week 140 members of the Taliban family from Afghanistan were flown Goat Class from Kabul to our international gateway at Stansted where local law enforcement officers were on hand to fast-track them to their luxury £200-a-night rooms in the fabulous four star Hilton Hotel. They join tens of thousands of other lucky winners already staying in hotels all over Britain Our most popular destinations also include the White Cliffs of Dover and the world famous Toddington Services area In Historic Bedfordshire. If you still don't understand the rules, don't forget there's no need to phone a friend or ask the audience, just apply for legal aid. Hundreds of lawyers, social workers and counsellors are waiting to help. It won't cost you a penny, so play today; it could change your life forever. Iraqi terrorists, Afghan dissidents, Albanian gangsters, pro-Pinochet activists, anti-Pinochet activists, Kosovan drug-smugglers, Tamil tigers, bogus Bosnians, Rwandan mass murderers, Somali guerrillas...COME ON DOWN! Get along to the airport, get along to the lorry park, get along to the ferry terminal. Don't stop in Germany or France . Go straight to Britain and you are guaranteed to be one of tens of thousands of lucky winners in the softest game on earth. Everyone's a winner, when they play 'ASYLUM'. FORWARD THIS TO EVERY BRITISH TAX PAYER Quote Link to post Share on other sites
dytkos 17,952 Posted May 22, 2008 Report Share Posted May 22, 2008 Sad but true, mate. Regards, D. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
paddy.t 8 Posted May 22, 2008 Report Share Posted May 22, 2008 BRILLIANT Quote Link to post Share on other sites
jack_russels. 6 Posted May 24, 2008 Report Share Posted May 24, 2008 very true mackem Quote Link to post Share on other sites
SEAN3513 7 Posted May 24, 2008 Report Share Posted May 24, 2008 open to everyone!!!!!!!!!!!.....................except the british tax payer!!! nice one mackem Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest bullterrier Posted May 24, 2008 Report Share Posted May 24, 2008 so true mate. ..john Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Irish Lurcher 1,013 Posted May 24, 2008 Report Share Posted May 24, 2008 The b*****ds play the same game over here. I had some of them in my Taxi two weeks ago and they asked me could I invoice the Social Services for the fare, b*****ds. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
SportingShooter 0 Posted May 24, 2008 Report Share Posted May 24, 2008 Unfortunately, never a truer word spoken. The Government needs to get its priorities straight, it makes my blood boil to see recent immigrants being given council houses over British Citizens who have been waiting months or years. This is in no way racist just a fact! SS Quote Link to post Share on other sites
lanesra 4,007 Posted May 24, 2008 Report Share Posted May 24, 2008 The Goverment are a disgrace , can you blame them for comin here when they hear whats on offer ???? To put it in laymans terms there's 3 pubs 1 charges £3 a pint the 2nd is £2 a pint the third its free; which will be the overcrowded !!!!! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
mackem 29,695 Posted May 24, 2008 Author Report Share Posted May 24, 2008 Good analogy Lanesra Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Coney 3 Posted May 24, 2008 Report Share Posted May 24, 2008 Sad to say but "spot on". Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Ratman2 2 Posted May 24, 2008 Report Share Posted May 24, 2008 Everyone's a winner, when they play 'ASYLUM'. Other benefits include being able to drive a car without tax, MOT or insurance, you can totally ignore all our traffic laws, if you get stopped just use your other trump card ‘racism’. You automatically go to the top on hospital waiting lists, you get immediate and free dentistry and doctoring, well after all, they’re more than likely run by your family who won ‘Asylum’ some years ago anyway. You can piss your neigbours off by playing loud ‘shimmy shimmy’ music and revving your motors after mid night, just use your other trump card, remember!!!! ‘racism’. That’s my rant for tonight. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
tynetyke 0 Posted May 24, 2008 Report Share Posted May 24, 2008 Win A Council House -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Win a Council House WIN A COUNCIL HOUSE Good morning and welcome to a brand new edition of 'ASYLUM'. Today's program features another chance to take part in our exciting competition: Hijack an airliner and win a council house! We've already given away hundreds of millions of pounds and thousands of dream homes, courtesy of our sponsor the British Taxpayer. And don't forget, we're now the fastest growing game on the planet. Anyone can play, provided they don't already hold a valid British passport, and you only need one word of English: 'ASYLUM'!. Prizes include all-expenses-paid accommodation, cash benefits starting at £180 a week and a chance to earn thousands more begging, mugging and accosting drivers at traffic lights. This competition is open to everyone buying a ticket or stowing away on one of our partner airlines, ferry companies or Eurostar. No application ever refused reasonable or unreasonable. All you have to do is destroy all your papers and remember the magic password: 'ASYLUM'. Only this week 140 members of the Taliban family from Afghanistan were flown Goat Class from Kabul to our international gateway at Stansted where local law enforcement officers were on hand to fast-track them to their luxury £200-a-night rooms in the fabulous four star Hilton Hotel. They join tens of thousands of other lucky winners already staying in hotels all over Britain Our most popular destinations also include the White Cliffs of Dover and the world famous Toddington Services area In Historic Bedfordshire. If you still don't understand the rules, don't forget there's no need to phone a friend or ask the audience, just apply for legal aid. Hundreds of lawyers, social workers and counsellors are waiting to help. It won't cost you a penny, so play today; it could change your life forever. Iraqi terrorists, Afghan dissidents, Albanian gangsters, pro-Pinochet activists, anti-Pinochet activists, Kosovan drug-smugglers, Tamil tigers, bogus Bosnians, Rwandan mass murderers, Somali guerrillas...COME ON DOWN! Get along to the airport, get along to the lorry park, get along to the ferry terminal. Don't stop in Germany or France . Go straight to Britain and you are guaranteed to be one of tens of thousands of lucky winners in the softest game on earth. Everyone's a winner, when they play 'ASYLUM'. FORWARD THIS TO EVERY BRITISH TAX PAYER Quote Link to post Share on other sites
mackem 29,695 Posted May 24, 2008 Author Report Share Posted May 24, 2008 Do what I did TYNETYKE,come down south and claim ASYLUM Quote Link to post Share on other sites
tynetyke 0 Posted May 24, 2008 Report Share Posted May 24, 2008 was in good mood till i read that, truth hurts Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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