speedlamper 0 Posted May 3, 2008 Report Share Posted May 3, 2008 (edited) These are all (allegedly) recorded off radio shows in the UK UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE (BBC2) Jeremy Paxman: What is another name for 'cherrypickers' and 'cheesemongers'? Contestant: Homosexuals. Paxman: No. They're regiments in the British Army who will be very upset with you. BEG, BORROW OR STEAL (BBC2) Jamie Theakston: Where do you think Cambridge University is? Contestant: Geography isn't my strong point. Theakston: There's a clue in the title. Contestant: Leicester. BBC NORFOLK Stewart White: Who had a worldwide hit with What A Wonderful World? Contestant: I don't know. White: I'll give you some clues: what do you call the part between your hand and your elbow? Contestant: Arm. White: Correct. And if you're not weak, you're...? Contestant: Strong. White: Correct - and what was Lord Mountbatten's first name? Contestant: Louis. White: Well, there we are then. So who had a worldwide hit with the song What A Wonderful World? Contestant: Frank Sinatra? LATE SHOW (BBC MIDLANDS) Alex Trelinski: What is the capital of Italy? Contestant: France. Trelinski: France is another country. Try again. Contestant: Oh, um, Benidorm. Trelinski: Wrong, sorry, let's try another question. In which country is the Parthenon? Contestant: Sorry, I don't know. Trelinski: Just guess a country then. Contestant: Paris. THE WEAKEST LINK (BBC2) Anne Robinson: - Oscar Wilde, Adolf Hitler and Jeffrey Archer have all written books about their experiences in what: - Prison, or the Conservative Party? Contestant: The Conservative Party. BEACON RADIO (WOLVERHAMPTON) DJ Mark: For £10, what is the nationality of the Pope? Ruth from Rowley Regis: I think I know that one. Is it Jewish? UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE Bamber Gascoigne: What was Gandhi's first name? Contestant: Goosey? RTE RADIO 2FM (IRELAND) Presenter: What is the name of the long- running TV comedy show about pensioners: Last Of The...? Caller: Mohicans. PHIL WOOD SHOW (BBC RADIO MANCHESTER) Phil: What's 11 squared? Contestant: I don't know. Phil: I'll give you a clue. It's two ones with a two in the middle. Contestant: Is it five? RICHARD AND JUDY Q: Which American actor is married to Nicole Kidman? A: Forrest Gump. RICHARD AND JUDY Leslie: On which street did Sherlock Holmes live? Contestant: Er. . . Leslie: He makes bread . . . Contestant: Er . ... Leslie: He makes cakes . . . Contestant: Kipling Street? LINCS FM PHONE-IN Presenter: Which is the largest Spanish-speaking country in the world? Contestant: Barcelona. Presenter: I was really after the name of a country. Contestant: I'm sorry, I don't know the names of any countries in Spain. NATIONAL LOTTERY (BBC1) Question: What is the world's largest continent? Contestant: The Pacific ROCK FM (PRESTON) Presenter: Name a film starring Bob Hoskins that is also the name of a famous painting by Leonardo da Vinci. Contestant: Who framed Roger Rabbit? THE BIGGEST GAME IN TOWN (ITV) Steve Le Fevre: What was signed, to bring World War I to an end in 1918? Contestant: Magna Carta? JAMES O'BRIEN SHOW (LBC) O'Brien: How many kings of England have been called Henry? Contestant: Er, well, I know there was a Henry the Eighth ... ER?ER ... Three? CHRIS SEARLE SHOW (BBC RADIO BRISTOL) Searle: In which European country is Mount Etna? Caller: Japan. Searle: I did say which European country, so in case you didn't hear that, I can let you try again. Caller: Er ....Mexico? PAUL WAPPAT (BBC RADIO NEWCASTLE) Paul Wappat: How long did the Six-Day War between Egypt and Israel last? Contestant (after long pause): Fourteen days. DARYL DENHAM'S DRIVETIME (VIRGIN RADIO) Daryl Denham: In which country would you spend shekels? Contestant: Holland? Denham: Try the next letter of the alphabet. Contestant: Iceland? Ireland? Denham (helpfully): It's a bad line. Did you say Israel? Contestant: No. PHIL WOOD SHOW (BBC GMR) Wood: What 'K' could be described as the Islamic Bible? Contestant: Er. .. . Wood: It's got two syllables . . . Kor . . . Contestant: Blimey? Wood: Ha ha ha ha, no. The past participle of run . . . Contestant: (Silence) Wood: OK, try it another way. Today I run, yesterday I . . . Contestant: Walked? THE VAULT Melanie Sykes: What is the name given to the condition where the sufferer can fall asleep at any time? Contestant: Nostalgia. LUNCHTIME SHOW (BRMB) Presenter: What religion was Guy Fawkes? Contestant: Jewish. Presenter: That's close enough. STEVE WRIGHT IN THE AFTERNOON (BBC RADIO 2) Wright: Johnny Weissmuller died on this day. Which jungle-swinging character clad only in a loin cloth did he play? Contestant: Jesus and my favourite GWR FM (Bristol) Presenter: What happened in Dallas on November 22, 1963? Contestant: I don't know, I wasn't watching it then. Edited May 3, 2008 by speedlamper Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Ditch_Shitter Posted May 3, 2008 Report Share Posted May 3, 2008 Just makes ye want to punch those people, doesn't it? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
sue 1 Posted May 3, 2008 Report Share Posted May 3, 2008 :clapper: thick as pig shit comes to mind Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest greengrass123 Posted May 3, 2008 Report Share Posted May 3, 2008 Anybodys got the right to be stupid, but thats abusing that right. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
loves2hunt 5 Posted May 3, 2008 Report Share Posted May 3, 2008 how thick can you get Quote Link to post Share on other sites
mackem 23,838 Posted May 3, 2008 Report Share Posted May 3, 2008 Somewhere a village is missing its idiots Quote Link to post Share on other sites
SportingShooter 0 Posted May 3, 2008 Report Share Posted May 3, 2008 The Thickness of Two Very Short Planks comes to mind Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Kay 3,709 Posted May 3, 2008 Report Share Posted May 3, 2008 Somewhere a village is missing its idiots Quote Link to post Share on other sites
just jack 997 Posted May 3, 2008 Report Share Posted May 3, 2008 my god, some people are totally thick hope my spelling is ok Quote Link to post Share on other sites
SEAN3513 7 Posted May 3, 2008 Report Share Posted May 3, 2008 if brains where dominoes.........................they'd be knocking!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Timid Toad 18 Posted May 3, 2008 Report Share Posted May 3, 2008 Someone in the local looney bin is eating their dinners lol Quote Link to post Share on other sites
martin 332 Posted May 3, 2008 Report Share Posted May 3, 2008 That had me in fits of laughter .....................Martin. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
tallyboy 32 Posted May 3, 2008 Report Share Posted May 3, 2008 haha i'm nearly p**sing meself here Quote Link to post Share on other sites
BlueCoyote 0 Posted May 4, 2008 Report Share Posted May 4, 2008 that almost explains the state of the world.... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Coney 3 Posted May 4, 2008 Report Share Posted May 4, 2008 Yes, there really are people like that out there and I have the sad task of dealing with a few! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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