gnasher16 29,664 Posted November 30, 2021 Report Share Posted November 30, 2021 Im the last person in the world to be dishing out parental advice but you chaps showing your boys a work ethic is invaluable in my opinion....i only wish id known back then what i know now as my answer was to throw money at my lad....my " guidance " was give him a big bundle of dough and say crack on make of yourself what you can.....thankfully he had a decent nut on his shoulders and built up a brilliant little business with it but as a parent it was a f****n terrible idea i totally regret.....so well played you chaps showing the correct paths,building characters of your sons etc etc....hats off and all that 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
NEWKID 26,211 Posted November 30, 2021 Author Report Share Posted November 30, 2021 6 minutes ago, mackem said: What does he want to do in the future mate? He sounds switched on Science is his thing mate, medical research of some sort has been discussed a lot, he just gets it. He reads uni papers now, is doing some A level stuff at school in science etc... went up the college last week for open evening and he was already telling me what all of the models were, all the apparatus etc... He also loves his music, plays guitar, so is keen to do a music production course for his 3rd option... we'll see though, lots of bright kids don't push on, it'll be up to him to work hard at college... My other niece is at uni in London, UCL studying science, her and Fin are proper mates and he looks up to her a lot... decent role model for him I suppose 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
NEWKID 26,211 Posted November 30, 2021 Author Report Share Posted November 30, 2021 5 minutes ago, gnasher16 said: Im the last person in the world to be dishing out parental advice but you chaps showing your boys a work ethic is invaluable in my opinion....i only wish id known back then what i know now as my answer was to throw money at my lad....my " guidance " was give him a big bundle of dough and say crack on make of yourself what you can.....thankfully he had a decent nut on his shoulders and built up a brilliant little business with it but as a parent it was a f****n terrible idea i totally regret.....so well played you chaps showing the correct paths,building characters of your sons etc etc....hats off and all that My old man was very similar mate, he expected us to graft, but throwing money at us was his solution to most things... including showing love... buy you something and that will make it right type of thing.... no problem, made me what I am, I realised a long time ago that their is a lot of guilt in parenting, I see it with both of my parents, unfortunately, but you can't change the descisions you made at 25 or 30 when your 70 and realise maybe they weren't the best!! lol Parenting is a constant lesson, f**k has anyone got the right answers, the only thing I promised myself was I'd be about and try and make it stable at least (2 things me and my brother maybe didn't have for periods). I like my Mrs, we get on, and are a pretty decent team... that's a good start... I wouldn't of wanted kids with a bird I didn't really like or respect.. I'm just glad my kids came with the right person at the right time in my life... 1 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
socks 32,253 Posted November 30, 2021 Report Share Posted November 30, 2021 My lad has been on building sites since he was 15. He moved up here with me to get work when all the restrictions in wales last year was making it hard to work in his local area. Within 3 months the boss was asking him to run all the sites. He is going back to wales in the new year to start his own business ……. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
socks 32,253 Posted November 30, 2021 Report Share Posted November 30, 2021 3 minutes ago, NEWKID said: My old man was very similar mate, he expected us to graft, but throwing money at us was his solution to most things... including showing love... buy you something and that will make it right type of thing.... no problem, made me what I am, I realised a long time ago that their is a lot of guilt in parenting, I see it with both of my parents, unfortunately, but you can't change the descisions you made at 25 or 30 when your 70 and realise maybe they weren't the best!! lol Parenting is a constant lesson, f**k has anyone got the right answers, the only thing I promised myself was I'd be about and try and make it stable at least (2 things me and my brother maybe didn't have for periods). I like my Mrs, we get on, and are a pretty decent team... that's a good start... I wouldn't of wanted kids with a bird I didn't really like or respect.. I'm just glad my kids came with the right person at the right time in my life... What the f**k did I do wrong then. My old man worked me like a dog gave me f**k all money and just knocked me about most days. still it made me the perfect man I am today Quote Link to post Share on other sites
NEWKID 26,211 Posted November 30, 2021 Author Report Share Posted November 30, 2021 20 minutes ago, gnasher16 said: Im the last person in the world to be dishing out parental advice but you chaps showing your boys a work ethic is invaluable in my opinion....i only wish id known back then what i know now as my answer was to throw money at my lad....my " guidance " was give him a big bundle of dough and say crack on make of yourself what you can.....thankfully he had a decent nut on his shoulders and built up a brilliant little business with it but as a parent it was a f****n terrible idea i totally regret.....so well played you chaps showing the correct paths,building characters of your sons etc etc....hats off and all that Mate, just reading that post again... Your lad has a decent "nut on his shoulders" and the money you "threw at him" he done well with and has a brilliant little business.... sounds like you gave him the start he needed and he made it the success it is... like I say there is too much guilt in parenting, no one makes the right decisions and as humans we are selfish, regardless if your a parent... sounds to me like the f**k ups you may or may not have made have turned out well in the end mate 1 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
NEWKID 26,211 Posted November 30, 2021 Author Report Share Posted November 30, 2021 3 minutes ago, socks said: What the f**k did I do wrong then. My old man worked me like a dog gave me f**k all money and just knocked me about most days. still it made me the perfect man I am today I only got to see the old man on the odd weekend, and then I'd be off with his labourer fishing, hunting etc... my dad was bit "busy" back then...but he'd send us back with a few nice gifts, job done!! lol It's all learning mate, I think a lot of us grew up too fast, we were kind of forced too because of circumstances.... and your right it makes you what you are, you just want different for your own.... Perfect man eh!!! lol lol Quote Link to post Share on other sites
NEWKID 26,211 Posted November 30, 2021 Author Report Share Posted November 30, 2021 9 minutes ago, socks said: My lad has been on building sites since he was 15. He moved up here with me to get work when all the restrictions in wales last year was making it hard to work in his local area. Within 3 months the boss was asking him to run all the sites. He is going back to wales in the new year to start his own business ……. Grafters always rise to the top mate, you soon suss out the wasters... good on your lad, is he doing general building? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
gnasher16 29,664 Posted November 30, 2021 Report Share Posted November 30, 2021 27 minutes ago, NEWKID said: Mate, just reading that post again... Your lad has a decent "nut on his shoulders" and the money you "threw at him" he done well with and has a brilliant little business.... sounds like you gave him the start he needed and he made it the success it is... like I say there is too much guilt in parenting, no one makes the right decisions and as humans we are selfish, regardless if your a parent... sounds to me like the f**k ups you may or may not have made have turned out well in the end mate Appreciate your thoughts mate it all turned out ok in the end we didnt have much of a relationship for many years but we squared it all away a few years ago and have a loose " pals " type thing going on these days that we're both happy with....i like to think my heart was in the right place even if my head wasnt but he,s a good kid cracking on with life and the years i missed were my loss not his so thats life........like many things its something as we get older we always wished we could have another crack at but too late now f**k all that babies lark the grandson is hard enough work 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
mackem 23,822 Posted November 30, 2021 Report Share Posted November 30, 2021 I think some of us were brought up with sweet f*ck all, and had parents who needed direction and aspirations themselves never mind knowing how to guide their kids towards a better future, I remember broaching going to university to my mam her reply was "Don't be f***ing stupid, get a job" The world is getting a harder place to earn a crust, and it's shrinking quickly, lots of competition out there for the youth of today, but it's always good to see kids making their own way in life and progressing in ways we could never dream about 6 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
socks 32,253 Posted November 30, 2021 Report Share Posted November 30, 2021 3 hours ago, NEWKID said: Grafters always rise to the top mate, you soon suss out the wasters... good on your lad, is he doing general building? Yes mate he is a bricky by trade but can do pretty much everything. He builds houses from the ground up. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
socks 32,253 Posted November 30, 2021 Report Share Posted November 30, 2021 3 hours ago, gnasher16 said: Appreciate your thoughts mate it all turned out ok in the end we didnt have much of a relationship for many years but we squared it all away a few years ago and have a loose " pals " type thing going on these days that we're both happy with....i like to think my heart was in the right place even if my head wasnt but he,s a good kid cracking on with life and the years i missed were my loss not his so thats life........like many things its something as we get older we always wished we could have another crack at but too late now f**k all that babies lark the grandson is hard enough work Got mine up here for the week whilst my daughter starts a new job back in wales … I’m fukced already ……. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
NEWKID 26,211 Posted November 30, 2021 Author Report Share Posted November 30, 2021 1 hour ago, socks said: Yes mate he is a bricky by trade but can do pretty much everything. He builds houses from the ground up. nice one!! Shame he don't fix mobile phones, I could really do with that at the minute, as you found out earlier!! lol 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
gnasher16 29,664 Posted November 30, 2021 Report Share Posted November 30, 2021 1 hour ago, socks said: Got mine up here for the week whilst my daughter starts a new job back in wales … I’m fukced already ……. Bit much really aint it................how comes they never sleep ! We've had him a few days at a time but a week ....good luck to you boss. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
socks 32,253 Posted November 30, 2021 Report Share Posted November 30, 2021 2 hours ago, gnasher16 said: Bit much really aint it................how comes they never sleep ! We've had him a few days at a time but a week ....good luck to you boss. I am hanging out already and it’s only Tuesday he doesn’t sleep runs around everywhere and tries to climb everything … I think it will be a while before the next week long visit. In my daughters place. https://youtube.com/shorts/ivBg64fvgNE?feature=share 1 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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