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How to wind up the Mrs


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29 minutes ago, shaneg said:

My misses keep giving out about the beard the more she gives out the more I grow it and I can’t see me cutting it of anytime soon 

20 hours ago, ChrisJones said:

This should turn into a THL Beard Off... Review progress in June.

still got mine growing away nicely

not sure if i can handle it til june

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Mrs has gone out tonight for a drink with her mate.. shes been nagging me to shave off the beard I've lazily grown... well the beards gone, but a cracking Tom Sellick moustache remains..lol

My Mrs is always moaning I'm a scruffy cnut lol, didn't like it when I shaved a  tash for movember...... Then moaned like f**k last night when I shave out the grey lol....  Can't win with the mis

Can't win mate can you.. they should thank their lucky stars to have such dashing, good looking men in their lives...

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I used to wind my ex up by standing in the dark, at the end of the passage leading to the bathroom when she was in there... the screams when she came out seeing me stood there, head cocked to one side and rolling slowly to the other. The first time I did she collapsed ? I still get the daughter with it once a week ???

As for shaving.... she mentioned it once..... I shaved my entire body with the trimmers and left a pile of beard, pubes and chest hair, in a pile in the sink. I never though I had so much hair in my ass crack ?

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Another is; the ex never locked the bathroom door and rarely closed it properly.... I used to wait until she popped off for a shit... give it a minute and then go bursting in screaming as she's curling one out ?

Maybe that's why she left ?

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f**k letting a woman shit in the house why am there..I was with a girl 12 years and not once did she shit while I was there.the others 6 years never did to f**k that..or fart..if I Hurd that she be gone..

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1 minute ago, tb25 said:

f**k letting a woman shit in the house why am there..I was with a girl 12 years and not once did she shit while I was there.the others 6 years never did to f**k that..or fart..if I Hurd that she be gone..

Do women shit? GTFOH!

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1 minute ago, tb25 said:

f**k letting a woman shit in the house why am there..I was with a girl 12 years and not once did she shit while I was there.the others 6 years never did to f**k that..or fart..if I Hurd that she be gone..

Have you got issues? Mate, when I knew she'd had a shit, I knew bum sex was on the cards after she'd showered ?

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6 minutes ago, Kerny92 said:

Why would you want to cover your cap-end in sweetcorn and nuts? 

It's called douching my young friend and besides you can always wash your cock after ? 

If you want your woman to have some fuucked up orgasms get in the stink and play with the pink at the same time ?

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14 minutes ago, tb25 said:

f**k letting a woman shit in the house why am there..I was with a girl 12 years and not once did she shit while I was there.the others 6 years never did to f**k that..or fart..if I Hurd that she be gone..

You make them shit in the yard ?

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13 minutes ago, mushroom said:

It's called douching my young friend and besides you can always wash your cock after ? 

If you want your woman to have some fuucked up orgasms get in the stink and play with the pink at the same time ?

You don't need to tell Yoda my friend, you tried a crispy tenner? 

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11 minutes ago, Kerny92 said:

You don't need to tell Yoda my friend, you tried a crispy tenner? 

Mate... That's how I start every love session lol that's just amateur shit that most girls expect ? or maybe you just need to meet some girls from somewhere outside of the UK (no Pakistan does not count) ?

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If any of you are in or near Sheffield, there's a very good Cuban/salsa bar in the centre thats full of Spanish girls.... if you can dance or even willing to try, you're in for a fun night ? I was there in December and was well impressed ?

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