Chid 6,835 Posted May 30, 2014 Report Share Posted May 30, 2014 A rabbit walks into a pub and says to the barman, " Can I have a pint of beer, and a Ham and Cheese Toastie, please ? " The barman is amazed, but gives the rabbit a pint of beer and a ham and cheese toastie.The rabbit drinks the beer and eats the toastie. He then leaves.The following night the rabbit returns and again asks for a pint of beer, and a Ham and Cheese Toastie. The barman, now intrigued by the rabbit and the extra drinkers in the pub, (because word gets round), gives the rabbit the pint and the Toastie. The rabbit consumes them and leaves.The next night, the pub is packed. In walks the rabbit and says, 'A pint of beer and a Ham and Cheese Toastie, please barman.' The crowd is hushed as the barman gives the rabbit his pint and toastie, and then burst into applause as the rabbit wolfs them downThe next night there is standing room only in the pub. Coaches have been laid on for the crowds of patrons attending.The barman is making more money in one week than he did all last year In walks the rabbit and says, 'A pint of beer and a Ham and Cheese Toastie, please barman, The barman says, 'I'm sorry rabbit, old mate, old mucker, but we are right out of them Ham and Cheese Toasties...' The rabbit looks aghast. The crowd has quietened to almost a whisper, when the barman clears his throat nervously and says, 'We do have a very nice Cheese and Onion Toastie.'The rabbit looks him in the eye and says, 'Are you sure I will like it.'The masses' bated breath is ear shatteringly silent.. The barman, with a roguish smile says, 'Do you think that I would let down one of my best friends. I know you'll love it.' 'Ok,' says the rabbit, 'I'll have a pint of beer and a Cheese and Onion Toastie.' The pub erupts with glee as the rabbit quaffs the beer and guzzles the toastie.He then waves to the crowd and leaves....NEVER TO RETURN!!!!!! -----One year later, in the now impoverished public house, the barman, (who has only served 4 drinks tonight, 3 of which were his), calls time.When he is cleaning down the now empty bar, he sees a small white form, floating above the bar.. The barman says, 'Who are you?', To which he is answered, 'I am the ghost of the rabbit that used to frequent your public house.'The barman says, 'I remember you. You made me famous. You would come in every night and have a pint of beer and a Ham and Cheese Toastie. Masses came to see you and this place was famous.'The rabbit says, 'Yes I know..' The barman said, 'I remember, on your last night we didn't have any Ham and Cheese Toasties. You had a Cheese and Onion one instead.'The rabbit said, 'Yes, you promised me that I would love it.The barman said, 'You never came back, what happened?''I DIED', said the rabbit. 'NO!' said the barman. 'What from?'After a short pause, the rabbit said...'Mixin-me-toasties.'... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
socks 32,253 Posted May 30, 2014 Report Share Posted May 30, 2014 I think I was around 10 when I first heard that one ......... 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
walshie 2,804 Posted May 30, 2014 Report Share Posted May 30, 2014 I think I was around 10 when I first heard that one ......... Is it really THAT old? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
The one 8,594 Posted May 30, 2014 Report Share Posted May 30, 2014 I think I was around 10 when I first heard that one ......... Is it really THAT old? Aye and its still better than your jokes Quote Link to post Share on other sites
walshie 2,804 Posted May 30, 2014 Report Share Posted May 30, 2014 I think I was around 10 when I first heard that one ......... Is it really THAT old? Aye and its still better than your jokes Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Chid 6,835 Posted May 30, 2014 Author Report Share Posted May 30, 2014 I think I was around 10 when I first heard that one ......... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
mushroom 14,216 Posted May 30, 2014 Report Share Posted May 30, 2014 Yep socks I reckon I first heard that in 1987 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
pip1968 2,490 Posted May 30, 2014 Report Share Posted May 30, 2014 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
sandymere 8,263 Posted May 30, 2014 Report Share Posted May 30, 2014 (edited) A Panda walks into a bar and asks for a whisky and.......................................................................................coke. the barman replies "sure thing but whats with the big pause"? the Panda shrugs his shoulders and says i was born with em Yesterday I was buying a bag of food for my dogs.While I was in the line about to check out a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.What did she think, I had an elephant? Since I had little else to do, on impulse, I told her that No, I didn't have a dog - that I was starting the dog food Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I ended up in the hospital last time.On the bright side though, I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in intensive care with tubes coming out of every hole in my body and IVs in both arms.I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pockets with nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry and that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.(I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was enthralled with my story by now.)Horrified, She asked : "Did you end up in intensive care because the dog food had poisoned you?" I said: No not at all; I had stopped in the middle of the car park to lick my ass and a car hit me. Edited May 30, 2014 by sandymere Quote Link to post Share on other sites
socks 32,253 Posted May 30, 2014 Report Share Posted May 30, 2014 Fukc me sandy they are older than chids .......... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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