The one 8,411 Posted August 8, 2013 Report Share Posted August 8, 2013 SCOTTISH WEDDING At the Scottish wedding reception, the D.J. Yelled... "Would all married men please stand next to the one person who has made your life worth living." The bartender was almost crushed to death. SEX Condoms don’t guarantee safe sex anymore ….. A friend of mine was wearing one when he was shot by the woman’s husband. New Book A man goes into Chapters and asks the young lady assistant, "Do you have the new book out for men with short penises?" She replies, "I'm not sure if it's in yet." "That's the one; I'll take a copy…" Poor Lance Armstrong I think it is just terrible and disgusting how everyone has treated Lance Armstrong, especially after what he achieved, winning 7 Tour de France races, while on drugs. When I was on drugs, I couldn't even find my bike. Drive By A guy broke into my apartment last week. He didn’t take my TV, just the remote. Now he drives by and changes the channels. Sick b*****d!! The Agony of Aging On the morning that Daylight Savings Time ended I stopped in to visit my aging friend. He was busy covering his penis with black shoe polish. I said to him, "You better get your hearing checked - You're supposed to turn your clock back". SCAM Just got scammed out of $25. Bought Tiger Woods DVD entitled "My Favourite 18 Holes" . Turns out it's about golf. Absolute waste of money! Pass this on so others don't get scammed. Best Regards, Charlie Sheen So True Before sex, you help each other get naked. After sex, you only dress yourself. The Moral of the story: In life, no one helps you once you've been Screwed Pregnant Prostitute Doctor asks pregnant prostitute, "do you know who the father is?" "For Heaven Sakes ,if you ate a tin of beans would you know which one made you fart?" Sex Research If sex with 3 people is called a threesome and sex with 2 people is a twosome, now I understand why they call you handsome! EASYJET Paddy calls EASYJET to book a flight. The operator asks, "How many people are flying with you?" Paddy replies "I don't know! It's your bloody plane. " The meaning of life in 13 words…… “Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened” 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
stealthy1 3,964 Posted August 8, 2013 Report Share Posted August 8, 2013 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
pip1968 2,490 Posted August 8, 2013 Report Share Posted August 8, 2013 ffs where,s walshie 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
foxtails 272 Posted August 8, 2013 Report Share Posted August 8, 2013 lol a few good uns there Quote Link to post Share on other sites
walshie 2,804 Posted August 8, 2013 Report Share Posted August 8, 2013 4/10 for effort. Must try harder. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Outlaw Pete 2,224 Posted August 8, 2013 Report Share Posted August 8, 2013 The meaning of life in 13 words…… “Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened” That did it for me! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
The one 8,411 Posted August 8, 2013 Author Report Share Posted August 8, 2013 4/10 for effort. Must try harder. Keep saying that you will improve Quote Link to post Share on other sites
walshie 2,804 Posted August 8, 2013 Report Share Posted August 8, 2013 4/10 for effort. Must try harder. Keep saying that you will improve Copying and pasting yours now to claim as my own in a few weeks. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
The one 8,411 Posted August 8, 2013 Author Report Share Posted August 8, 2013 4/10 for effort. Must try harder. Keep saying that you will improve Copying and pasting yours now to claim as my own in a few weeks. Your welcome after i posted them i deleted me email in two week i would have forgot anyway Quote Link to post Share on other sites
j j m 6,487 Posted August 9, 2013 Report Share Posted August 9, 2013 very good Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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