The Seeker 3,048 Posted April 15, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 15, 2013 The favourite at work is the " IGTH" group ..." it got there how....?" Luckily, self inflicted gunshot wounds are rare, but you would really would not believe how some people injure themselves My Mum was a nursing sister, and often told us about people "doing the housework in the nude........." - you probably know the rest ! uh huh ! Come on, Lara, tell us your best one..........PLEASE !!!!! It would scare the socks of you ! A nurse friend works A&E, she said she has had on more than one occasion to deal with a guy that decided to pleasure himself with and aerosol deodorant when all too late the fellow felt a "POP" as the lid of the aerosol came off up their ar*se One of the worst I had to deal with had it's own skeleton ! was it alive or dead?? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Outlaw Pete 2,224 Posted April 15, 2013 Report Share Posted April 15, 2013 Upon seeing the officer, the would-be robber announced a holdup, and fired a few wild shots. The officer and a clerk promptly returned fire, covered by several customers who also drew their guns, thereby removing the confused criminal from the gene pool. No one else was hurt. Priceless image, that, isn't it? Bunch of guys, all standing round slowly lowering their guns from the classic, two handed, Combat Grip. Looking at each other, amidst the smell of smoke, blood and cordite. And breathing; " What the F**k was That all about?! " 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
LaraCroft 863 Posted April 15, 2013 Report Share Posted April 15, 2013 The favourite at work is the " IGTH" group ..." it got there how....?" Luckily, self inflicted gunshot wounds are rare, but you would really would not believe how some people injure themselves My Mum was a nursing sister, and often told us about people "doing the housework in the nude........." - you probably know the rest ! uh huh ! Come on, Lara, tell us your best one..........PLEASE !!!!! It would scare the socks of you ! A nurse friend works A&E, she said she has had on more than one occasion to deal with a guy that decided to pleasure himself with and aerosol deodorant when all too late the fellow felt a "POP" as the lid of the aerosol came off up their ar*se One of the worst I had to deal with had it's own skeleton ! was it alive or dead?? Dead ! but the X-ray of the guys lower abdomen was just awesome ! 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
The Seeker 3,048 Posted April 15, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 15, 2013 The favourite at work is the " IGTH" group ..." it got there how....?" Luckily, self inflicted gunshot wounds are rare, but you would really would not believe how some people injure themselves My Mum was a nursing sister, and often told us about people "doing the housework in the nude........." - you probably know the rest ! uh huh ! Come on, Lara, tell us your best one..........PLEASE !!!!! It would scare the socks of you ! A nurse friend works A&E, she said she has had on more than one occasion to deal with a guy that decided to pleasure himself with and aerosol deodorant when all too late the fellow felt a "POP" as the lid of the aerosol came off up their ar*se One of the worst I had to deal with had it's own skeleton ! was it alive or dead?? Dead ! but the X-ray of the guys lower abdomen was just awesome ! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Blackbriar 8,569 Posted April 15, 2013 Report Share Posted April 15, 2013 The favourite at work is the " IGTH" group ..." it got there how....?" Luckily, self inflicted gunshot wounds are rare, but you would really would not believe how some people injure themselves My Mum was a nursing sister, and often told us about people "doing the housework in the nude........." - you probably know the rest ! uh huh ! Come on, Lara, tell us your best one..........PLEASE !!!!! It would scare the socks of you ! A nurse friend works A&E, she said she has had on more than one occasion to deal with a guy that decided to pleasure himself with and aerosol deodorant when all too late the fellow felt a "POP" as the lid of the aerosol came off up their ar*se One of the worst I had to deal with had it's own skeleton ! was it alive or dead?? Dead ! but the X-ray of the guys lower abdomen was just awesome ! DETAILS !!!! Come on , Lara, stop teasing...... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
LaraCroft 863 Posted April 15, 2013 Report Share Posted April 15, 2013 He said it was pre ban, so I guess it was ok Quote Link to post Share on other sites
sussex 5,803 Posted April 16, 2013 Report Share Posted April 16, 2013 I must have lead a sheltered life .....How the fcuk does aerosol,arse,& pleasure get to be in the same sentence....! :hmm: Quote Link to post Share on other sites
J Darcy 5,871 Posted April 16, 2013 Report Share Posted April 16, 2013 Was the excuse....... "Whilst I showered, Frisky my pet hamster, retrieved a bar of soap to me. But unfortunately said bar of soap wasn't seen by me. I slipped on soap and fell, landed awkwardly on Frisky and he entered my back passage." 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
sussex 5,803 Posted April 16, 2013 Report Share Posted April 16, 2013 Where's the rspca when there needed...! Should they not be in every A&E in the country checking suspect renal passages trying to get to the bottom of this serous problem instead of worry about hunting, when was the last time any one went to hospital with a foxhound stuck up there arse......................................don't answer that .... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
LaraCroft 863 Posted April 16, 2013 Report Share Posted April 16, 2013 Was the excuse....... "Whilst I showered, Frisky my pet hamster, retrieved a bar of soap to me. But unfortunately said bar of soap wasn't seen by me. I slipped on soap and fell, landed awkwardly on Frisky and he entered my back passage." That is a suspiciously accurate account of what he said ... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Blackbriar 8,569 Posted April 16, 2013 Report Share Posted April 16, 2013 Where's the rspca when there needed...! Should they not be in every A&E in the country checking suspect renal passages trying to get to the bottom of this serous problem instead of worry about hunting, when was the last time any one went to hospital with a foxhound stuck up there arse......................................don't answer that .... RENAL ? F**k me, that one went up a long way ! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Blackbriar 8,569 Posted April 16, 2013 Report Share Posted April 16, 2013 Was the excuse....... "Whilst I showered, Frisky my pet hamster, retrieved a bar of soap to me. But unfortunately said bar of soap wasn't seen by me. I slipped on soap and fell, landed awkwardly on Frisky and he entered my back passage." That is a suspiciously accurate account of what he said ... More to the point, did they believe him ????? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Carraghs Gem 1,699 Posted April 16, 2013 Report Share Posted April 16, 2013 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Waz 4,293 Posted April 16, 2013 Report Share Posted April 16, 2013 Not sure where I heard this story, here goes. Lads dickin about and the tale of the lightbulb in the mouth gets talked about, so one of them tries it and gets the lockjaw. They call a taxi to take them to hospital, taxi driver taking the piss out of them, anyway, 20 minutes later why they are in A&E waiting room, taxi driver turns up with a lightbulb in his mouth LOL You ever see that one Lara? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Blackbriar 8,569 Posted April 16, 2013 Report Share Posted April 16, 2013 (edited) Lara - any interesting incidents involving vaccuum cleaner accessories and unlikely explanations.....? ("I was doing the hoovering in the nude and......") Edited April 16, 2013 by Blackbriar Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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