Childhood Stories Hunting/countryside Related

[the_stig 6,614]

Wilf the goat story rings true with me..

 

My Dad went out on day to buy something for the house ( can't remember what) came back a few hours later with 2 goats ( a mother and son) we had no idea about goats, but soon realised they don't stop eating.. The garden ( a wild mess) was soon eaten to nothing, so me and my brother used to walk them on long chains down the back, nothing was safe from them.. We'd never making dairy farmers with our pathetic attempts at milking, lol..

 

There was a huge Oak tree at the start of the woods, this was right behind our house ( we were at the end of a council estate that backed onto the tidal Exe and acres of reed beds plus a small wood, it seemed huge back then lol),

This oak had a big hole in its trunk probably 6ft high and 3-4 ft across, the plan was simple we'd gave a small fire in the hole, we set to work ( my brother, my next door neighbour and me) filling the hole with paper, wood, reeds anything that would burn.. A good dousing with petrol then up it went, and up, and up.. It didn't stop the tree is at least 50ft high, and no word of a lie the flames were licking the top branches within 5 minutes.. We shit ourselves and ran lol, we hid in our neighbours garden ( in full view of the blazing tree about 100 yards away) 2 fire engines arrived and after a while managed to put it out... I don't remember shitting myself so much before or after for that matter, we were sure we had burnt down the woods lol

The council promptly bricked up the hole in the tree it's still there now, my dad still lives there....

when i first moved into this place i was in my early 20s its got a big old garden with an orchard -- i put my pigeon lofts up made kennels at the time i had 6 terriers and a lurcher ,,, we made chicken pens had bantams and hens the mrs had 20 odd show rabbits and we had a mix of other birds and a duck ... first thing i did when we moved in was put a 7ft fence round the back of it --- we`d been in about 6 months the mrs had done a veg plot and everything was looking good .. this night we where in bed i heard a bang in the yard it sounded like someone was about i looked out the window nothing came downstairs stuck the outside lights on feck all ... next morning i`m making a brew i looked out the kitchen window and theres a pigmy goat in the middle of the mrs veg patch eaten most of it .. some fecker had chucked over my fence in the middle of the night kept it for a few year it used to love the mrs but it hated me used to follow me about the yard butting me little fecker ... it slept in with the lurcher ... found out years later who it was who`d got fed up with it and decided to let me have it

Edited April 3, 2013 by the_stig

[WILF 50,101]

Some blindin stories there chaps....im all out of likes

Certainly makes me feel a touch of envy if i had my time again id of grown up round these country places instead of that dump a good day in our childhood was not getting nicked or beaten up !...............Thanks for sharing your memories

 

Oh I dont know matey, now as an adult I detest London with a passion, but looking back I dont think I would want to miss growing up round some of the places and characters.

 

I could tell you about times of having fights with spades who were carrying knives and fully intent on using them, but just the same I can remeber going to Roman Road market, Deptford Market......my pop knew all the traders and they would keep giving me fruit and I would come home covered in juice and my mother would do her nut.

 

Or, my old mans pal taking me up the west end when I was 10 after a big win in the casino, he was a high roller and would tip barmaids a 50.......thats when £50 was a lot of money, one day caked the next day skint and not bothered either way

 

or visiting my old mans pals with him, and this pal saying to this 9 year old boy "have a look upstairs and tell me what you think".........up stairs I go and laying on the bed was the most tasty looking black sort without a stitch on, he had met her on a night out and they had been at it.....she didnt give a monkeys and just laid there chatting to me and all the while I couldnt take my eyes off her tits or fanny........

 

Thats what I wouldnt have got if I had just lived in the country..........I reckon, where ever you are from, you take the good and forget the bad.

 

Some cracking tales on here mind, really enjoyed reading all your stories.

Edited April 3, 2013 by WILF

[Stabs 3]

This has been the best thread I've read on here for a long, long time

[NEWKID 28,622]

 

Some blindin stories there chaps....im all out of likes

Certainly makes me feel a touch of envy if i had my time again id of grown up round these country places instead of that dump a good day in our childhood was not getting nicked or beaten up !...............Thanks for sharing your memories

Oh I dont know matey, now as an adult I detest London with a passion, but looking back I dont think I would want to miss growing up round some of the places and characters.

 

I could tell you about times of having fights with spades who were carrying knives and fully intent on using them, but just the same I can remeber going to Roman Road market, Deptford Market......my pop knew all the traders and they would keep giving me fruit and I would come home covered in juice and my mother would do her nut.

 

Or, my old mans pal taking me up the west end when I was 10 after a big win in the casino, he was a high roller and would tip barmaids a 50.......thats when £50 was a lot of money, one day caked the next day skint and not bothered either way

 

or visiting my old mans pals with him, and this pal saying to this 9 year old boy "have a look upstairs and tell me what you think".........up stairs I go and laying on the bed was the most tasty looking black sort without a stitch on, he had met her on a night out and they had been at it.....she didnt give a monkeys and just laid there chatting to me and all the while I couldnt take my eyes off here tits or fanny........

 

Thats what I wouldnt have got if I had just lived in the country..........I reckon, where ever you are from, you take the good and forget the bad.

 

Some cracking tales on here mind, really enjoyed reading all your stories.

That's the thing Wilf, there's a lot of shitty stories as well as the good for most of us, but there's no point dwelling on them...

This has been a top thread though, some great stories... We should put out a "tales from the hunting life" book, I can see a best seller lol

[WILF 50,101]

Tales from THL..........I can see it now..........

 

"Once upon a time there was a........."

 

"Thats bollocks"

 

"No it aint"

 

"Who the f**k are you"

 

"Do you want to take this offline....."

 

The end!

[NEWKID 28,622]

Tales from THL..........I can see it now..........

 

"Once upon a time there was a........."

 

"Thats bollocks"

 

"No it aint"

 

"Who the f**k are you"

 

"Do you want to take this offline....."

 

The end!

" my bulls harder than yours"

 

" if it ain't got saluki in it it's useless"

 

" my rope swings better than yours" lol

 

Lol, maybe we should leave it to Darcy....

[baw 4,360]

Just found this thread, cracking stories guys. Here's one from little old me......... Me and the mates, about 6 of us all about 13, summer holidays, planned a night of fishing, sleeping rough. Told parents we were staying at each others house, still too young for an all nighter. Sneaked tins of beans etc out, don't know why, no c**t had a tin opener. Off we went red hot summer night getting the craic going. One of the guys with us was the mates cousin, he was a right wee bell end. We are all wearing the usual mars bar clothes(work, rest and play) he is wearing flashy jeans and a white jacket with a paisley pattern hood. One of the other mates has all the gear, cammo, wellies, Swiss knife, matches, army cooking stuff, you know the type. Some ones managed to sneak cans of beer and a half bottle of sherry. Tumshy with the white jackets giving it, I can drink half a dozen cans myself, you lot can have the sherry. As we are walking through the fields heading to our chosen camping spot, we are passing the sherry about making sure white jackets getting the bottle every other drink. After a few mouthfuls, we notice old white jackets slevering more than normal. c**ts getting pissed. Everyone clicks and starts picking up semi dried cow shit and hanging on to him while talking to him as if we were pissed too, all the while rubbing his back with the shit matey with all the gears giving it, you'll all get soaked when we cross the moors, I won't with me wellies. First peaty drainage cut, we are all jumping it, scrambling up the other side. Cammo mans giving it. I don't need to jump, walks through it then starts climbing the steep peaty embankment. Near the top, banking gives way, ahhhhhhhhh as he slides back down arse first in the water, legs up other side. For a brief second he was the perfect dam what a f***ing laff seeing him soaked from head to toe, f**k you and your wellies finally gets to the camping bit, cammo guy dripping, white jacket man stinking, we chuck the roads out and get going to start a fire. Cammo man, in charge of the matches, surprisingly still dry in their polythene(c**t thought of everything) was in charge of the fire. Big blaze going, we are all starving now, that's when we realize no tin opener. Some c**t throws the tin of beans in the fire. Dunno if it was deliberate or just anger but cammo man was checking his rod and never noticed. (No one was allowed to touch the fire lol) anyhow, we crack open the cans, white jackets sleeping off his sherry, we are all spaced out cos cammos got a raging fire to dry off. He was drying nicely, steam rising off him like a kettle. I don't know if it was coincidence or because he poked the fire but as he bent down to poke it, the fire exploded!!!! Burning wood, embers flying everywhere but the scariest scene was him screaming and running head on into the water as the burning beans dripped off his face....... His misery doesn't end there. We caught heehaw all night, next morning, all shattered cos we never slept, ready to head home, cammo guy hooks a big trout. It's a belter. The fish isn't even out the water and he's returned to his bragging self, pride restored. Giving it large, I'm the only one to catch blah blah, I swear to god, he had it close enough to net, easy 2 pounder............ and a big pike came in from the side and stole the f****r

[johnny boy68 11,726]

Just found this thread, cracking stories guys. Here's one from little old me......... Me and the mates, about 6 of us all about 13, summer holidays, planned a night of fishing, sleeping rough. Told parents we were staying at each others house, still too young for an all nighter. Sneaked tins of beans etc out, don't know why, no c**t had a tin opener. Off we went red hot summer night getting the craic going. One of the guys with us was the mates cousin, he was a right wee bell end. We are all wearing the usual mars bar clothes(work, rest and play) he is wearing flashy jeans and a white jacket with a paisley pattern hood. One of the other mates has all the gear, cammo, wellies, Swiss knife, matches, army cooking stuff, you know the type. Some ones managed to sneak cans of beer and a half bottle of sherry. Tumshy with the white jackets giving it, I can drink half a dozen cans myself, you lot can have the sherry. As we are walking through the fields heading to our chosen camping spot, we are passing the sherry about making sure white jackets getting the bottle every other drink. After a few mouthfuls, we notice old white jackets slevering more than normal. c**ts getting pissed. Everyone clicks and starts picking up semi dried cow shit and hanging on to him while talking to him as if we were pissed too, all the while rubbing his back with the shit matey with all the gears giving it, you'll all get soaked when we cross the moors, I won't with me wellies. First peaty drainage cut, we are all jumping it, scrambling up the other side. Cammo mans giving it. I don't need to jump, walks through it then starts climbing the steep peaty embankment. Near the top, banking gives way, ahhhhhhhhh as he slides back down arse first in the water, legs up other side. For a brief second he was the perfect dam what a f*****g laff seeing him soaked from head to toe, f**k you and your wellies finally gets to the camping bit, cammo guy dripping, white jacket man stinking, we chuck the roads out and get going to start a fire. Cammo man, in charge of the matches, surprisingly still dry in their polythene(c**t thought of everything) was in charge of the fire. Big blaze going, we are all starving now, that's when we realize no tin opener. Some c**t throws the tin of beans in the fire. Dunno if it was deliberate or just anger but cammo man was checking his rod and never noticed. (No one was allowed to touch the fire lol) anyhow, we crack open the cans, white jackets sleeping off his sherry, we are all spaced out cos cammos got a raging fire to dry off. He was drying nicely, steam rising off him like a kettle. I don't know if it was coincidence or because he poked the fire but as he bent down to poke it, the fire exploded!!!! Burning wood, embers flying everywhere but the scariest scene was him screaming and running head on into the water as the burning beans dripped off his face....... His misery doesn't end there. We caught heehaw all night, next morning, all shattered cos we never slept, ready to head home, cammo guy hooks a big trout. It's a belter. The fish isn't even out the water and he's returned to his bragging self, pride restored. Giving it large, I'm the only one to catch blah blah, I swear to god, he had it close enough to net, easy 2 pounder............ and a big pike came in from the side and stole the f****r

[Lab 10,979]

Just found this thread, cracking stories guys. Here's one from little old me......... Me and the mates, about 6 of us all about 13, summer holidays, planned a night of fishing, sleeping rough. Told parents we were staying at each others house, still too young for an all nighter. Sneaked tins of beans etc out, don't know why, no c**t had a tin opener. Off we went red hot summer night getting the craic going. One of the guys with us was the mates cousin, he was a right wee bell end. We are all wearing the usual mars bar clothes(work, rest and play) he is wearing flashy jeans and a white jacket with a paisley pattern hood. One of the other mates has all the gear, cammo, wellies, Swiss knife, matches, army cooking stuff, you know the type. Some ones managed to sneak cans of beer and a half bottle of sherry. Tumshy with the white jackets giving it, I can drink half a dozen cans myself, you lot can have the sherry. As we are walking through the fields heading to our chosen camping spot, we are passing the sherry about making sure white jackets getting the bottle every other drink. After a few mouthfuls, we notice old white jackets slevering more than normal. c**ts getting pissed. Everyone clicks and starts picking up semi dried cow shit and hanging on to him while talking to him as if we were pissed too, all the while rubbing his back with the shit matey with all the gears giving it, you'll all get soaked when we cross the moors, I won't with me wellies. First peaty drainage cut, we are all jumping it, scrambling up the other side. Cammo mans giving it. I don't need to jump, walks through it then starts climbing the steep peaty embankment. Near the top, banking gives way, ahhhhhhhhh as he slides back down arse first in the water, legs up other side. For a brief second he was the perfect dam what a f*****g laff seeing him soaked from head to toe, f**k you and your wellies finally gets to the camping bit, cammo guy dripping, white jacket man stinking, we chuck the roads out and get going to start a fire. Cammo man, in charge of the matches, surprisingly still dry in their polythene(c**t thought of everything) was in charge of the fire. Big blaze going, we are all starving now, that's when we realize no tin opener. Some c**t throws the tin of beans in the fire. Dunno if it was deliberate or just anger but cammo man was checking his rod and never noticed. (No one was allowed to touch the fire lol) anyhow, we crack open the cans, white jackets sleeping off his sherry, we are all spaced out cos cammos got a raging fire to dry off. He was drying nicely, steam rising off him like a kettle. I don't know if it was coincidence or because he poked the fire but as he bent down to poke it, the fire exploded!!!! Burning wood, embers flying everywhere but the scariest scene was him screaming and running head on into the water as the burning beans dripped off his face....... His misery doesn't end there. We caught heehaw all night, next morning, all shattered cos we never slept, ready to head home, cammo guy hooks a big trout. It's a belter. The fish isn't even out the water and he's returned to his bragging self, pride restored. Giving it large, I'm the only one to catch blah blah, I swear to god, he had it close enough to net, easy 2 pounder............ and a big pike came in from the side and stole the f****r

It was going so well until the pike turned up..............

[baw 4,360]

seriously lab, I swear on my daughters life that's all true. I could tell a million stories about him, he was class and a great mate

[gnasher16 31,486]

Oh I dont know matey, now as an adult I detest London with a passion, but looking back I dont think I would want to miss growing up round some of the places and characters.

 

I could tell you about times of having fights with spades who were carrying knives and fully intent on using them, but just the same I can remeber going to Roman Road market, Deptford Market......my pop knew all the traders and they would keep giving me fruit and I would come home covered in juice and my mother would do her nut.

 

Or, my old mans pal taking me up the west end when I was 10 after a big win in the casino, he was a high roller and would tip barmaids a 50.......thats when £50 was a lot of money, one day caked the next day skint and not bothered either way

 

or visiting my old mans pals with him, and this pal saying to this 9 year old boy "have a look upstairs and tell me what you think".........up stairs I go and laying on the bed was the most tasty looking black sort without a stitch on, he had met her on a night out and they had been at it.....she didnt give a monkeys and just laid there chatting to me and all the while I couldnt take my eyes off her tits or fanny........

 

Thats what I wouldnt have got if I had just lived in the country..........I reckon, where ever you are from, you take the good and forget the bad.

 

Some cracking tales on here mind, really enjoyed reading all your stories.

Oh i got plenty of stories about childhood tales round the manor mate......just most of them aint the sort you,d want to go repeating .....ive led a f****d up back to front life doing grown up things as a child.....and now im all grown up i want to do some childish things......but i think maybe sliding down hills on cardboard boxes and drying out socks on railway lines might be out the question now

Edited April 3, 2013 by gnasher16

[socks 32,253]

I was talking to my old dear about this and she reminded me about the horse story ......

 

Just across the river from my old dears house is the farm where the pit phoneys would be fielded up every evening after a shift down the pit ... They were gentle old things and most summer evenings I would go across there and ride one of them around the field ( I know better now as the poor old fukcers needed all the rest they could get ) as soon as I walked in through the door my old dear would slap me around the head for riding the poor horses ... No matter which way I whent there or which way I snuck back she always seemed to know what I had been up to I was convinced she had spies everywhere ........

 

Years later I was sat having a pint with my old fella and the pit and the horses came into the conversation so I asked him who was the spy that kept grassing me up .... He pissed himself laughing before telling me nobody used to grass me up my old dear knew because the inside of my trouser legs were dirty with coal dust ......

 

Eyes like an eagle that woman lol .......

[socks 32,253]

Also any of you lads ever make Dutch arrows and play chicken with them ??? If there was a gang of kids out it was like a scene from 300 with the sky blacking out with Dutch arrows lol ..........

[johnny boy68 11,726]

Also any of you lads ever make Dutch arrows and play chicken with them ??? If there was a gang of kids out it was like a scene from 300 with the sky blacking out with Dutch arrows lol ..........

My mother used to play darts every Wednesday night and I made 3 with her darts she gave a few slaps for that, used to love playing with them and having war games with Gats.

 

Used to sell the Football Argus on a Saturday evening round the pubs when I was 11/12, always get a sneaky bottle of pale ale of one of the old codgers.

[socks 32,253]

 

Also any of you lads ever make Dutch arrows and play chicken with them ??? If there was a gang of kids out it was like a scene from 300 with the sky blacking out with Dutch arrows lol ..........

My mother used to play darts every Wednesday night and I made 3 with her darts she gave a few slaps for that, used to love playing with them and having war games with Gats.

 

Used to sell the Football Argus on a Saturday evening round the pubs when I was 11/12, always get a sneaky bottle of pale ale of one of the old codgers.

To be the top man you had to have an ace of spades card as your flight ll .......