Kay 3,709 Posted January 10, 2013 Report Share Posted January 10, 2013 I had one strange date that ended in me bolting in the house & vowing to never go on another blind date that a bloody so called mate had arranged after he removed his teeth because they were killing him.. i couldnt get my breath for laughing in stafford town centre .. jesus if nowt else it was funny 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
LaraCroft 863 Posted January 10, 2013 Report Share Posted January 10, 2013 Not leaped out of a window, but met a few muppets over the years - and learnt not to believe every word a guy says, even if they do "say all the right things" !! i dont know what guys you have been with but i aint like that...... i will give you the world baby I'm not living in a tent and eating bugs - I have standards Mr Mears. No maltesers - no deal. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Ray Mears 272 Posted January 10, 2013 Report Share Posted January 10, 2013 Not leaped out of a window, but met a few muppets over the years - and learnt not to believe every word a guy says, even if they do "say all the right things" !! i dont know what guys you have been with but i aint like that...... i will give you the world baby I'm not living in a tent and eating bugs - I have standards Mr Mears. No maltesers - no deal. blimey just a pack of maltesers your a cheap un. i will even show you my machete if your lucky... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
LaraCroft 863 Posted January 10, 2013 Report Share Posted January 10, 2013 Not leaped out of a window, but met a few muppets over the years - and learnt not to believe every word a guy says, even if they do "say all the right things" !! i dont know what guys you have been with but i aint like that...... i will give you the world baby I'm not living in a tent and eating bugs - I have standards Mr Mears. No maltesers - no deal. blimey just a pack of maltesers your a cheap un. i will even show you my machete if your lucky... Keep the maltesers topped up and I promise not to laugh Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Ray Mears 272 Posted January 10, 2013 Report Share Posted January 10, 2013 Not leaped out of a window, but met a few muppets over the years - and learnt not to believe every word a guy says, even if they do "say all the right things" !! i dont know what guys you have been with but i aint like that...... i will give you the world baby I'm not living in a tent and eating bugs - I have standards Mr Mears. No maltesers - no deal. blimey just a pack of maltesers your a cheap un. i will even show you my machete if your lucky... Keep the maltesers topped up and I promise not to laugh sorry heard about "buttercup" you are no longer needed Quote Link to post Share on other sites
LaraCroft 863 Posted January 10, 2013 Report Share Posted January 10, 2013 Not leaped out of a window, but met a few muppets over the years - and learnt not to believe every word a guy says, even if they do "say all the right things" !! i dont know what guys you have been with but i aint like that...... i will give you the world baby I'm not living in a tent and eating bugs - I have standards Mr Mears. No maltesers - no deal. blimey just a pack of maltesers your a cheap un. i will even show you my machete if your lucky... Keep the maltesers topped up and I promise not to laugh sorry heard about "buttercup" you are no longer needed omg I am gutted and will never get over this.... ok, I'm fine now Quote Link to post Share on other sites
lapin2008 1,587 Posted January 10, 2013 Report Share Posted January 10, 2013 Not leaped out of a window, but met a few muppets over the years - and learnt not to believe every word a guy says, even if they do "say all the right things" !! i dont know what guys you have been with but i aint like that...... i will give you the world baby I'm not living in a tent and eating bugs - I have standards Mr Mears. No maltesers - no deal. blimey just a pack of maltesers your a cheap un. i will even show you my machete if your lucky... Keep the maltesers topped up and I promise not to laugh sorry heard about "buttercup" you are no longer needed omg I am gutted and will never get over this.... ok, I'm fine now Dont be too sad, you can probably have him back after buttermilk has finished... In 300 different pieces! 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
mushroom 14,207 Posted January 10, 2013 Report Share Posted January 10, 2013 Once walking up Talbot Rd in Blackpool pissed up, I pulled a bird with the best line ever " I'm gonna smash your ass" got to her house and mid coitus sobered up enough to realised she had the worst fookin breath I have ever had the misfortune to come into contact with, jumped up, grabbed my clothes and ran like fuuck falling down the stairs in the process, picked myself up and ran out the door bollock naked got dressed in a back street and walked home vowing never again :laugh: 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
socks 32,253 Posted January 10, 2013 Report Share Posted January 10, 2013 A mate of mine whilst serving in Hong Kong managed to get a date with one of the English diplomats daughter who was a real stunner but real posh .... Anyway up he goes to Stanley to this massive building built into the cliff and overlooking the harbour ... Everything was going brilliantly and he was bluffing his way through the meal like a pro ... He was doing his best to hold it back but really needed a shit so he made his excuses and retired to the toilet had a his shit and was chuffed there was no smell and was chuffed he had only been a minuet and could have bluffed it was only a piss ... He tried to flush the toilet and nothing happened he lifted the cistern top tried all he could but couldn't get it to work ... He was panicking now and couldn't go back downstairs and tell the upper class family I have had a shit but can't flush the toilet lol ..... So being on a cliff face he thought f**k it opened the window fished out the turd and threw it as hard as he could ... Ge fished out the big paper squeezed it dry and put it in the bin ... He washed his hands composed himself and sauntered back to the meal happy to have got away with it ... He sat down and tried to make some small talk but everybody was just staring at him saying nothing ... He thought it was very strange until the diplomat father pointed his eyes upwards and my mate looked up to see he turd slowly sliding down the glass roof .... He just got up and without a word left lol .......... 17 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
LaraCroft 863 Posted January 10, 2013 Report Share Posted January 10, 2013 Not leaped out of a window, but met a few muppets over the years - and learnt not to believe every word a guy says, even if they do "say all the right things" !! i dont know what guys you have been with but i aint like that...... i will give you the world baby I'm not living in a tent and eating bugs - I have standards Mr Mears. No maltesers - no deal. blimey just a pack of maltesers your a cheap un. i will even show you my machete if your lucky... Keep the maltesers topped up and I promise not to laugh sorry heard about "buttercup" you are no longer needed omg I am gutted and will never get over this.... ok, I'm fine now Dont be too sad, you can probably have him back after buttermilk has finished... In 300 different pieces! I'm not sad Lapin, she may have bunny-boiled him, but there is plenty left to curry Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Ray Mears 272 Posted January 10, 2013 Report Share Posted January 10, 2013 Not leaped out of a window, but met a few muppets over the years - and learnt not to believe every word a guy says, even if they do "say all the right things" !! i dont know what guys you have been with but i aint like that...... i will give you the world baby I'm not living in a tent and eating bugs - I have standards Mr Mears. No maltesers - no deal. blimey just a pack of maltesers your a cheap un. i will even show you my machete if your lucky... Keep the maltesers topped up and I promise not to laugh sorry heard about "buttercup" you are no longer needed omg I am gutted and will never get over this.... ok, I'm fine now Dont be too sad, you can probably have him back after buttermilk has finished... In 300 different pieces! I'm not sad Lapin, she may have bunny-boiled him, but there is plenty left to curry ok you have won me over but all the pms are doing my head in laracroft slow in down abit... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
LaraCroft 863 Posted January 10, 2013 Report Share Posted January 10, 2013 Not leaped out of a window, but met a few muppets over the years - and learnt not to believe every word a guy says, even if they do "say all the right things" !! i dont know what guys you have been with but i aint like that...... i will give you the world baby I'm not living in a tent and eating bugs - I have standards Mr Mears. No maltesers - no deal. blimey just a pack of maltesers your a cheap un. i will even show you my machete if your lucky... Keep the maltesers topped up and I promise not to laugh sorry heard about "buttercup" you are no longer needed omg I am gutted and will never get over this.... ok, I'm fine now Dont be too sad, you can probably have him back after buttermilk has finished... In 300 different pieces! I'm not sad Lapin, she may have bunny-boiled him, but there is plenty left to curry ok you have won me over but all the pms are doing my head in laracroft slow in down abit... slow down ? that doesn't bode well for the future ! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Ray Mears 272 Posted January 10, 2013 Report Share Posted January 10, 2013 i just think you using me to be honest i am a fragile man... i have been messed about before i just dont want to me hurt again,,, Quote Link to post Share on other sites
LaraCroft 863 Posted January 10, 2013 Report Share Posted January 10, 2013 i just think you using me to be honest i am a fragile man... i have been messed about before i just dont want to me hurt again,,, I'll be gentle. Trust me, I'm a nurse.... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Ray Mears 272 Posted January 10, 2013 Report Share Posted January 10, 2013 you have a pm Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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