truedog2

I had a wet dream over my wife last night.She got hit by a bus and I pissed myself laughing.

The 21st century. where deleting history is more important than making it

The 21st century.

A guy with a gun enters a bar.

Returned MailCan you believe it?They sent my income tax return form back to me!In response to question # 4, "Do you have any dependants?"I replied -50,000 illegal immigrants,1000000 Smack heads,30% unemployable people,Too many people in prisons,and 122 idiots in Parliament.

The inventor of the TV remote control died today aged 96!His memorial service is on Friday after which he'll be buried down the back of a sofa.

They say that laughter can cure anything....I don't think it will help erectile dysfunction.

Some people say Money can't buy you happiness.But I'd much rather cry in a mansion.

What's six inches long and won't be getting sucked on valentines day...... Whitney Houston's crack pipe

A couple of naked lesbians barged into the house today, and started wrestling with my wife while she was in the bath. I tried to help, but I could only knock one out.

A couple of naked lesbians barged into the house today, and started wrestling with my wife while she was in the bath. I tried to help, but I could only knock one out.

When I was little, I thought the greatest job in the world would to be a vet.But then I got older and found out that being a vet is a lot more work than just putting down cats all day.

Paddy bought 2 horses & could never remember which one was which so he cut the tail off 1 & that worked great till the other horse got his tail caught in a bush & it looked exactly like the other. his pal suggested he notch the ear of 1 horse & that worked great till the other horse caught his ear on barbed wire. The pal then suggested Paddy measure the horses for height & he was delighted to find that the black one was 2 inches taller than the white one!

Paddy bought 2 horses & could never remember which one was which so he cut the tail off 1 & that worked great till the other horse got his tail caught in a bush & it looked exactly like the other. his pal suggested he notch the ear of 1 horse & that worked great till the other horse caught his ear on barbed wire. The pal then suggested Paddy measure the horses for height & he was delighted to find that the black one was 2 inches taller than the white one!

Paddy bought 2 horses & could never remember which one was which so he cut the tail off 1 & that worked great till the other horse got his tail caught in a bush & it looked exactly like the other. his pal suggested he notch the ear of 1 horse & that worked great till the other horse caught his ear on barbed wire. The pal then suggested Paddy measure the horses for height & he was delighted to find that the black one was 2 inches taller than the white one!

Paddy bought 2 horses & could never remember which one was which so he cut the tail off 1 & that worked great till the other horse got his tail caught in a bush & it looked exactly like the other. his pal suggested he notch the ear of 1 horse & that worked great till the other horse caught his ear on barbed wire. The pal then suggested Paddy measure the horses for height & he was delighted to find that the black one was 2 inches taller than the white one!

Why the f**k should I go to someone's funeral if they aren't going to attend mine?

If you ask me, people who harm children should be strangled at birth.