Pensioners behaving badly. Part 1

[jukel123 9,277]

A friend of mine Harry who I met 71 years back in Primary school contacted me a few months back and as a result we decided to take a week's holiday in Corfu together.

He's been a true friend over the years , we've always had a bond.

My first memory of him involved him snatching a biscuit from my hand and putting it to his mouth. You could buy a biscuit for a penny at break time. I was too shy to ask the teacher, but the girls, thinking I was broke, would donate one each to me. Thinking I had more biscuits than I could eat, Harry decided to redistribute my wealth and snaffled one from me. I immediately punched him and we ended up rolling round the playground knocking lumps out of each other. We were separated and marched in disgrace to the  head teacher's office. She was a weird nun in a 'daring' burka because her black garb revealed her face. It wasn't pretty. She had a look of furious piety.... glaring green eyes without a hint of human kindness. She swished into the room with an almighty crucifix around her neck depicting some bloke nailed to a cross by his hands and feet. It somehow added to her general air of malevolence. She started to screech about sin, punishment, rules and she wouldn't have it. She told us were marked 'men' and would be keeping her eye on us. There was a cane on her desk which I expected to be assailed with, but we must have been too young and she dismissed us with a severe warning. By the time we got back to class we were best of mates.

Skip 9 years and we both ended up in some sort of half arsed catholic reform school staffed by ex squaddies and some serious, determined  paedophiles. All were staunch catholics. One weekend we were given home leave. We were told to be back at the school by 8 o' clock Sunday night. 

We learned however that some bombed or slum houses near us were due for demolition so we decided to explore inside them. It  was spooky seeing peoples lives depicted in their wallpaper, discarded piss pots ( people used to piss in them at  night rather than piss in heir outside toilets) and old newspapers. Incredibly, a few of the houses still had money in their pre_ payment meters, so with a bit of ingenuity and brute force we emptied them. We didn't realise the energy  company were still to collect the money. We thought it had just been left and would have been bulldozed into the ground. That's my excuse anyway and I'm sticking to it.

We had pockets bulging with coins, so much so we could hardly walk, so I nipped home and borrowed an old army knapsack. When Sunday night came we did a runner and hopped onto to a train to Blackpool to spend our windfall. f**k the reform school. The plan was to get employment on the waltsers, since I'd noticed that the lads employed as waltser twirlers, even though they were dirty and were mired in engine oil and grease seemed to attract girls without any problem. So we  imagined a life twirling waltsers with dozens of lovesick girls in each town we visited.

To be continued.....

Edited July 2 by jukel123

[chartpolski 27,471]

I must have been wearing some seriously rose tinted glasses during my childhood….it was unbridled adventure and happiness !

Living in a slum terrace in Newcastle City Centre, outside toilet, gas lighting , one cold water tap on each landing !

Playing on the bombed out houses, going down the Victoria bomb shelter tunnel and coming out dressed in Air Warden clothes, looking like an extra from Dads Army !

Then came the slum clearances and moved out to a brand new council estate maisonette in the suburbs.

The air tasted “different “, the sky seemed bluer, walking to the farm with an enamel jug for fresh milk, going on our bikes with a bottle of water and a bag of crisps in an old gas mask case to swim in the pit pond,all very “ Darling Budd Of May” !

Walking a few miles to school, no “yummy mummies “ or “Chelsea Tractors” dropping us off back then, and we went every day, wind, rain or snow.

Boys did metal work, girls did cookery, P.E. Was playing rugby and cross country runs. Night time was for British Bulldog and Jackie Shine Your Light.

Left school on Friday, started work on Monday with an engineering company , going to day release college and night school on my Lambretta !

Then came marriage, kids and a whole new adventure.

There were probably times that weren’t so good, but time erases those memories….. 

Cheers.

Edited July 2 by chartpolski

[Arry 24,590]

I like these old memories takes me back.  I too was taught by Nun's horrible buggers used to punch you cane the shit out of you. We used to kick a football into a walnut tree in the grounds to knock the walnuts down. They were bit like a horse chestnut where as you had a green outer coat on the nut that was hard to get off and stained your fingers yellow. the Nun's made you hold your hands out if stained you got whacked with the cane.

I was sort of lucky my parents moved into a housing association house in 1952 we had hot and cold taps but only cold water came out of both. That was unless the boiler fire lite in the kitchen. Some year later we got a emersion heater but that was rarely on because it used to use a lot of electric and the shillings would run out. Gran on the other hand lived in a very old house own by the council had one tap an out side loo right at the top of the garden with that tracing paper loo rolls and old new paper cut up hanging on that fluffy string. She had potties under every bed and a jug of water and a bowl on every dresser. When I was a nipper she still had gas lights with them mantels controlled by two little chains, the fascinated me. Gran shill had a boiler for washing close and a mangle outside by the shed. I loved staying there.

As Juke and Charts were saying different days we was just let out ferrel kids soup box carts catty's off to the woods all day making bows and arrows no food or drink. Played on the rubbish tip finding bit to build a bike and scrump apples on the way home. At the tip we would get a fire going put bit of water in any can with a lid anything that would blow up throw them in the fire and dare each other to be the closest with a sheet of galvanised iron held as a shield. Remember playing kick the can sort of a game of it, Knock down ginger and footie in the road till the sun went down. Then one after another somebody's mother would call for their kid to come in for tea till just two of us sitting on the wall.

As soon as we was old enough airguns, ferrets and fishing that all help put something on the table. Even airgun wars at the tip between one council estate and another, how the f**k nobody got hurt. Then shotguns sneaking on to the Dukes estate taking out one or two pheasants never more the two.

Very fond memories of wonderful days

[WILF 49,667]

Cracking stuff lads, brilliant story’s 

[waltjnr 7,912]

4 hours ago, Arry said:

I like these old memories takes me back.  I too was taught by Nun's horrible buggers used to punch you cane the shit out of you. We used to kick a football into a walnut tree in the grounds to knock the walnuts down. They were bit like a horse chestnut where as you had a green outer coat on the nut that was hard to get off and stained your fingers yellow. the Nun's made you hold your hands out if stained you got whacked with the cane.

I was sort of lucky my parents moved into a housing association house in 1952 we had hot and cold taps but only cold water came out of both. That was unless the boiler fire lite in the kitchen. Some year later we got a emersion heater but that was rarely on because it used to use a lot of electric and the shillings would run out. Gran on the other hand lived in a very old house own by the council had one tap an out side loo right at the top of the garden with that tracing paper loo rolls and old new paper cut up hanging on that fluffy string. She had potties under every bed and a jug of water and a bowl on every dresser. When I was a nipper she still had gas lights with them mantels controlled by two little chains, the fascinated me. Gran shill had a boiler for washing close and a mangle outside by the shed. I loved staying there.

As Juke and Charts were saying different days we was just let out ferrel kids soup box carts catty's off to the woods all day making bows and arrows no food or drink. Played on the rubbish tip finding bit to build a bike and scrump apples on the way home. At the tip we would get a fire going put bit of water in any can with a lid anything that would blow up throw them in the fire and dare each other to be the closest with a sheet of galvanised iron held as a shield. Remember playing kick the can sort of a game of it, Knock down ginger and footie in the road till the sun went down. Then one after another somebody's mother would call for their kid to come in for tea till just two of us sitting on the wall.

As soon as we was old enough airguns, ferrets and fishing that all help put something on the table. Even airgun wars at the tip between one council estate and another, how the f**k nobody got hurt. Then shotguns sneaking on to the Dukes estate taking out one or two pheasants never more the two.

Very fond memories of wonderful days

Perfect child hood !slightly younger ,but similar, building camps ,gat gun wars ,going everywhere you shouldn't, collecting eggs ,trying to fish the the canal with someone's dad's sea rod ,maggots and quill float, football 20 against 20 ,run outs,begging to stay out longer,a jam sandwich and a 10p mix up keep you going all day ,broken cornets and wafers off ice cream van a bonus 

[NEWKID 28,420]

Great thread and cracking memories lads.. not as old as some of you, but some things in my childhood are similar.. 

[WataWalloper 3,351]

I could read you pissy smelling old cnuts posts all day haha 

[chartpolski 27,471]

1 hour ago, WataWalloper said:

I could read you pissy smelling old cnuts posts all day haha 

I prefer to think us older gentlemen have an odour of boiled cabbage and dog fox !

Cheers.

[Arry 24,590]

Few more memories that came back. 

When we was about 10 years old

At the back of my pals house that lived opposite was a building site that had stopped building and had got over grown with stinger nettles about 6 foot high. So my mate and I got our school coat them gabardine on gloves and balaclavas and made some swords out of wood. We set off into the jungle cutting tracks through to get to the half built houses. Trolly nails ( nails to make soapbox carts)were like our gold, galvanised grip nail for plaster boarding. 

At the bottom of our road the kids would gather, then over the hedge then down to the next hedge. We would stand on top of the hedge and call a bloody great cart horse we called Rosie, she always came galloping over from the other side of the stream. Rosie would stand side on so as many kids could get on as would fit maybe half a dozen the with a nudge she would gallop off. We loved it and I think Rosie did too. But the stream which was only about 3 foot wide Rosie would jump it the only kid left on was the one at the front holding the main.

Then they started building in the field at the end of the road which just became our play ground. The builders had cut out the road no stone yet just the shape of the road but the best a dumper with the engine taken out for repair. One of them back wheel steering ones so us kids push it to the top of the road. As I was the oldest kid I was the driver all other kids stood up in the skip off we set down the hill at fare rate screaming and shouting.  As it slowed on the lower level bit I would whack the hand break on and pull the lever and tip the kids out. f**k just think what could have gone wrong but we didn't see the fear.

The Phantom Bugler of Totnes. Now in my drinking teens and hanging around with a mate who we called each other brother because we found out my father dated his mother in the past. Any way one night after the pubs close we went up to the Castle that over looks the whole town, forgot mention he had his trumpet. Right on top of the battlements he struck up played the last post. Bloody hell lights were going on everywhere a cop car drove out of the police station with blue light on. We legged it outside the castle and hide in the bushes. Coppers running around with torches everywhere all we could do to not laugh. After about half an hour it all calmed down and we watched the police car go back in the station. So yes we went back up and did it again same thing happened but this time we did leg it Lol. Local rag was full of it the next week and a week later when the Phantom Bugler strikes again.

Then there was poaching Salmon. I used to do legal seine netting for Salmon but that had to be done about 2 mile down river from my town and in season. One night two mates and I got the boat a net out ran it straight across the river from the pub to the other side of the river about 50/60 yards on the first of the flood tide. So we are stood on the muddy fore shore against the metal piles them that got in an out like sentry boxes we are stool one in each about a yard apart with the quay above us. So somebody must have seen something probably because we had had a few pints and may not have been as quiet as we should have been. Copper turn up right above us car head lights shining down the river torch being shone about can hear every word they are saying. Daft twats a line of corks right across the river and they cant see them. Then a Salmon hit the net just under the top line splashing around in the middle of the river and they still didn't get it much to our relief. All this time we could hardly breath and pushing ourselves back against the quay. Well they f**k off after a while could not believe it, we gathered the net fish and boat. Had a right laugh in the pub that the net had be tied to the night before which was our local. Nice when things go your way. 

Taking the Dukes birds. On a cold frosty evening I set off to knock over a couple of the Dukes pheasants with my single barrel Winchester 12 bore. Struck down across a field to a steam that ran in a gully all the way to a wood that held all the birds. I got there unseen no problem walked into the wood and before I had gone 10 yards there was a bird just gone to roast. Well I dropped that one and into my back pocket now for one more, there another I beaded up and was about to pull when I heard somebody running in my direction. I lower the gun ran about 5 yards and hit the deck laying still. Somebody was walking now slowly and it sounded like they were hitting a hazel whip against there boot as if calling a dog. Though f**k they have been waiting for me got to get out of here. It had snowed and half melted so walking was like waking on packets of crisps. I could see lights through the hedge on the side of the wood of the cars on the main road some distance off and knew I could not use any on the entrances . So as I heard the footstep fade I ran to the foot of hedge, I could heard the footsteps coming back they were home in on me. They faded away and again back again pocket knife out I slowly cut and crawled through the hedge stopping and laying still every time they came closer. I cut and push through till I could get my head out to lookup and down the outside. I bolted out into a field of kale for about 50 yards crouch down, nobody following I was gone. close one.

I'm sure more memories will come back of little escapades.

Cheers Arry