Mathmatical Problem (%'s)

[Guest Ditch_Shitter]

What's 5% of 30,000, please?

[bullcross1 10]

listen bud am no mathmetician and av been on the drink since 7 a clock so a might be wrong here but here goes

 

30'000 * 5 = 150'000

150'000 / 100 = 1500

 

if this sum is wrong you have my apologise as i carnt see straight at the minute

[canuckcoyote1 0]

listen bud am no mathmetician and av been on the drink since 7 a clock so a might be wrong here but here goes

 

30'000 * 5 = 150'000

150'000 / 100 = 1500

 

if this sum is wrong you have my apologise as i carnt see straight at the minute

 

 

 

1500

[Guest Ditch_Shitter]

Jayyyyyy F*cking Susss!!!!! Is That so??? F*CK!!!

 

Ok. Thanks for that, peeps. Guess it looks then like I am, and ever more shall remain to be A / The " Ditch Shitter " !

 

Just to put ye out of any possible misery of wondering what the hell I'm on about here; Everyone and their uncle has been banging onto me about how No One needs to live as I do. Everyone is getting Grants for work like basic shit such as a LOO! Windows and more than one, sixty year old plug socket in the place they also reckon is ok to do the Ollie Twist on.

 

So I did. Finally. I went to the place and they got me the form. Filled most of it out for me. I had my GP here fill in some more; 'Shot to f*cking pieces. Can't socialise. Lives like a hermit' sums up what he told them. All I needed was a Builders quote. Then some b*stard mentioned they'd also need an Architect's plan??? " Oh, around 3 - 400 Euro's ", mr no prob's heartily informed me! WHAT?!?

 

So, tonight, whilst searching the small print for this shit about some f*cking Proffesionals Professionals input, I found no such. But I Did find out that, on a 30,000 Grant, shitting in a ditch and pissing in the sink here Still has to find the 5%.

 

Well; Unless I can magic up a builder who can fit me windows, rewire this cottage and install a loo and sceptic tank And leave me with a bill the sum total of which will measure about 10 Euro @ 5% ? I guess I'm just as f*cked as I am.

 

Maybe I should've bought a f*cking vardo!

 

 

Thanks anyway, Brainiacs

[stubby 175]

ditch, are they saying you have to pay 5% to the builder of the total price,

and do you need to get more than one quote, or are you so remote that finding one will be hard

if you can find 3, get them quoting "verbally" hopefully you'd get differnt ammounts from each, ask them if they dont mind a bit of conning the govement, tell them its on a grant, and to add 10% to there estimates in writing, send off all 2/3, the grant people will pick the lowest quote, but of course it will still be 10% more than what the builder really wants

so say he wanted £25,000 + 10% would be £2,500= £27,500

you'd give him £25,000 plus 5% of £2750 that= £1,375,00, so he's happy cos he's getting more money, and you get to keep £1,125,00 ok so its euro's rather than £'s, dunno what the exchange rate it

 

or am i looking at it all wrong

[Guest Ditch_Shitter]

Stubby; I've just scanned across all your £=!+%x stuff there ..... and caught ye drift Exactly!

 

I have to get Two quotes. " Mr No Prob's " also mentioned that builders are going to be Desperate for some work right now ..... I think ye've just given me a whole new line of hope, mate!

 

I'm smiling again now. And, with that smile, shall trundle off and snuggle up to my favourite Dog.

 

Sometimes we just can't see the wood for the trees, eh? I'll talk to my favoured builder presently. I'm sure he'll know someone else

 

[Guest gaia]

What on earth are you living in? (Don't mean that to sound rude/offensive! )

[BLACKBOB 9]

DS ive been doing grant work for the last 10yrs and the problem you got is that most Local Authorities have a schedule of rates for pricing work, so if say two builders put in a price of say 27000 and 24000 then the LA will calculate the cost of works from their rates.

 

If the work comes to 25000 on their rates, then the LA will only pay out 24000 as they will accept the lowest estimate, as they have to be looking for the best price in the interest of the goverment coffers

 

If however the LA give you a priced schedule so the builders can price against it, if the work is 30000 then im sure you will find a builder who will do the work for 28500, and maybe you can give him a helping hand with the demolision or something to make up for the shortage.

 

I dont know if the system is the same with your LA as it varies across the country, but everywhere ive worked do have their own schedule of works rates.

 

 

 

Cheers bob

[Hob&Jill 258]

Bloomin heck ditchy i got a 'G' in my maths GCSE and I got that

[SNAP SHOT 194]

good luck ditch, i hope you get sorted.

[Guest Ditch_Shitter]

Gaia; I live in a cottage. And that's about it, really. It's just a cottage. Not much else. My doors are largely ok. But I haven't a sound window in the place. I work off One plug socket (the other one's gone west). I have a sink with a cold tap. No loo.

 

I'm not complaining about how I live. Don't get me wrong. Only I was hoping to be able to sort things out for myself by now, but the brit govt. are far bigger c***s than most even imagine. Thus, two years down the line I'n in my third 'winter' and it's getting a bit old. Especially as everyone around me is imploring me, " Get A F*cking Grant!!! ". So, as much to shut them up as anything, I've taken steps to apply. But I'm not used to this sort of thing ad look how confusing it's all becoming already.

 

Blackbob; With grant work being the topic on everyones lips round here, I'm sure the builders are all very well up on the way of things by now Incidentally; I don't see how windows, wires and a sceptic tank can cost 30K Euros. Or need an architect. It's just that's how it's stated on the form, so I took that figure as my example.

 

H&J; What's a GCSE? Only thing I left school with was a glint of determination in my eye.

[tiny tim 22]

30000 x 0.05

 

 

1500

[Ratman2 2]

Just to put ye out of any possible misery of wondering what the hell I'm on about here; Everyone and their uncle has been banging onto me about how No One needs to live as I do. Everyone is getting Grants for work like basic shit such as a LOO! Windows and more than one, sixty year old plug socket in the place they also reckon is ok to do the Ollie Twist on.

 

DS,

just thought I would share this with you, my parental home was way down a lane, an 'off yard' as they are called, running water was a spring out side, the water was beautiful, ice cold in summer and tasted or iron, the 'toilet' was down the yard, small brick building with air vents in all the walls, a wooden plank with a bum shaped hole with a bucket underneath was called the throne. The contents of the bucket went into an open pit in the orchard untill the pit was full, earth was then put on top and another pit was dug, the orchard was very productive.

Water was carried indoors in buckets and ladelled into the Shire, hot water was taked in buckets to the wash house, again outside, the wash house was also the bathroom.

Heating was an open fire in the Shire that also boiled the kettle, and cooked all our food. Lighting was by parafin and candles and to this day I love the smell of a parafin stove but sadly the price of parafin now is robbery.

The only meat we ever had on the table was shot by my Dad and later on by me aswell, a chicken past laying was a treat.

I got married at the age of twenty and moved into a 'modern' bungalow, I still go outside for a piss.

My child hood was fantastic and if I had my time again I would want the same over.

As I said I just thought I would share it with you, sorry if I've bored you.

[Ossie 11]

... the 'toilet' was down the yard, small brick building with air vents in all the walls, a wooden plank with a bum shaped hole with a bucket underneath was called the throne ....

 

i think that's what Ditch would call a bit of luxury, he only got something to sit on in the bog last March!

[Guest craftycarper]

post us a few pics ditch, sounds interesting mate....