Wood Work Question?

[Ken's Deputy 4,463]

Should be simple enough for anyone who understands the basic physics of wood working?

I have a bit of pine plank. I want to make a dead basic pressing device from it. Pretty much just two cuts, hinged so they'll squash what ever's between them. Yes?

Two things. 1. It's modern day, absolute shit, timber. So, obviously, it's visibly bowed down the length.

2. Regardless of this, how am I best to attempt it? Which is less likely to snap in short order, when used? Grains running l / r or f / b? I think the hinge, at the back, would seat better screwed into a l / r grain. But ...

Alternatively, if this whole idea really is dead in the water? I do have a couple of scraps of thicker ply wood here. More modern crap though. Not a lot more faith in That shit!

It's a chapati press.

[shaaark 11,819]

9 minutes ago, W. Katchum said:

Doubt it make a difference to press summat as soft as chappati 

Yeah, but these are the deputy's chapatis.

[kanny 21,973]

It will be weak  both ways....if you run the grain front to back the wood will be stronger but you will be fixing your hinge into the end grain which will become the weak point alternatively if you run  the grain  sideways left to right then the hinge will be stronger but but the wood is more likely to  crack and break along the grain .

Now if it were me I'd run the grain side to side and add a couple of  battons running back to front on the outside faces  you could oversize the battons  so they shoot over the front edge to create a handle. The battons would also help remove any dishing giving you a flatter press.

[Ken's Deputy 4,463]

14 minutes ago, W. Katchum said:

Doubt it make a difference to press summat as soft as chappati 

Hmm. Fair point, mate. I hadn't even considered that far ahead. Typical 'OCD' sort of mentality, see? 'Looks like crap? Gonna break like crap!'

I'm just So sick and tired of what our world has become. Constantly being pressed (Ironically!) to just accept lower and lower standards of Shit.

No! 'Sorry' if I get monotonous. But, my entire fukking existence has seemingly become a one man resistance struggle.

I swear, I'll go kicking and screaming to my grave, railing against the depression of our expectations and acceptances of Quality.

It grips my shit!

[Ken's Deputy 4,463]

1 minute ago, kanny said:

Now if it were me I'd run the grain side to side and add a couple of  buttons running back to front on the outside faces  you could oversize the buttons  to create a handle. The buttons would also help remove any dishing giving you a flatter press.

Thanks, Kanmeister. I'll reread that when I'm fresher.

By " Buttons ", do you refer to what I'd call " Batons "? Lengths of wood?

Ply wood's out of the equation then?

[kanny 21,973]

Just now, Ken's Deputy said:

Thanks, Kanmeister. I'll reread that when I'm fresher.

By " Buttons ", do you refer to what I'd call " Batons "? Lengths of wood?

Ply wood's out of the equation then?

Refresh the page ive edited it  dyslexia upto 11 lol 

Ply would be great but you seemed  set on using the pine 

 

Battons and handles... think of a set of wooden bellows  that should give you the picture lol

[Ken's Deputy 4,463]

I honestly guessed it might be Dialect!

Noo! Fuukk the pine! I owe it nothing. Just a handy, clean off cut I was aware of.

The ply though? Just a Leeedle beet tacky? So called "Exterior Grade " shit? So much as keep Breathing on it and it fukking Explodes!

Hang on. Fukk this. I'll go and get it. Otherwise, I'm just bullshitting from vague memory, by now.

Hmm. See? That is why we should Not bullshit. Not since we're fifteen, anyway.

Okay. My apologies to This bit of ply. It's been kept in my tool room though. Hasn't visibly blown at all. Other piece? The top surface is flakey. I can sand That off in a trice.

So, yeah. Looks like ply would be simpler. Screw the hinges straight into the edge though? Or ....?

[Ken's Deputy 4,463]

9 minutes ago, baker boy said:

1 of these no good KD

Seen those, on my eternal quest across the internet, BB.

Dunno. I somehow just can't see Me making one work

I bought a rolling pin. Bog standard one. I roll shit like abstract fukking art! Jagged, tangential shit. These Indian ladies, with forty years experience? It's just a wonder to behold!

But, Everyone I see using any form of press? Boom! Squeeze down or two and they All have these perfect fukking circles! I want that

[kanny 21,973]

Just get one of these  Ken  

 

[Ken's Deputy 4,463]

  Fukk Me!!!!! £900.00!!!!!

That, or my @fireman's favourite, Foxy Mixing Bowl and a few bits of scrap timber?

That's a fukking tough decision. I'll have to sleep on that one.

[Ken's Deputy 4,463]

BB, Thanks! That's actually an extremely valid point!

Now I think about it? Yeah! I'd absolutely try my level damndest to get a Cabinet Maker type, hush close fit!

This is exactly why I Ask shit like this!

[thefensarefarbutistillgo 3,627]

All this for a chapati lol, I wish I had that much time on my hands, just order one from a takeaway about a quid or something, on the other hand you must be at a nice stage in your life when you can knock around worrying about how to make something to squash a peice of bread, I envy you in a way, must be a very chilled existence you live, it’s amazing what your mind can come up with when you have the time to relax

[Ken's Deputy 4,463]

Absolutely right, Fens! I'm retired and on sufficient pension that I really haven't got too many worries in my very simple life.

No wife. No kids. No motor. No mortgage. No media. Registered Hermit. Main 'obligation' of my day is going round the bounds, doling out grated cheese at seven points. The birds know me well

And, I guess, this sort of existence does lend itself to thinking about scraps of wood, laying about.

Look at Greyman, on the Stanley thread of mine. Tells us how to fix a broken clamp! How many others would say; " Fukk me! Less than a score?! Throw it away and buy another!!! (Rush! Rush! Busy! Busy! No time to lean on any gates here!)"

  I'll be off to look at that clamp, shortly. Then I'll be sorting out that plywood. Got a curry to make today too! Busy day!

[Ken's Deputy 4,463]

In Theory ..... This should work as well as anything I've seen Indian villagers using.

That's the theory, anyway. I've watched enough chubes of the practice. Fukking amazing people, they are.

See them sitting on the dust floor. Using their fukking Feet as a vice to hold the bit of scrap wood they're making something useful and practical from. Get my respect for that sort of shit.

  Anyway, yeah, here's what Mr First World managed to come up with, from scrap shit laying around. Only, I have a reasonable selection of tools. Still just stuff knocking around my tool room though.

 

 

 

And @neil82 See my washers? Thick as pound coins, they are! This thing can't squash any flatter than them!

[kanny 21,973]

4 hours ago, Ken's Deputy said:

In Theory ..... This should work as well as anything I've seen Indian villagers using.

That's the theory, anyway. I've watched enough chubes of the practice. Fukking amazing people, they are.

See them sitting on the dust floor. Using their fukking Feet as a vice to hold the bit of scrap wood they're making something useful and practical from. Get my respect for that sort of shit.

  Anyway, yeah, here's what Mr First World managed to come up with, from scrap shit laying around. Only, I have a reasonable selection of tools. Still just stuff knocking around my tool room though.

 

 

 

And @neil82 See my washers? Thick as pound coins, they are! This thing can't squash any flatter than them!

Looking good Ken don't know how sticky the dough is I've never made them it might be an idea to oil the press if it's sticking but not with  castrol   now you just need to work out the perfect quantity of dough to load into it ,good luck, let us know how it goes