The one 8,628 Posted August 28, 2012 Report Share Posted August 28, 2012 MY DOCTOR... Let me tell you about my doctor . He's very good! If you tell him you want a second opinion, He'll go out and come in again. ~~~~~ He treated one woman for yellow jaundice for three years Before he realized she was Chinese. ~~~~~ Another time, he gave a patient six months to live. At the end of the six months, the patient hadn't paid his bill, So, the doctor gave him another six months . ~~~~~ While he was talking to me, his nurse came in and said, "Doctor, there is a man here who thinks he's invisible." The doctor said, "Tell him I can't see him." ~~~~~ Another time, a man came running in the office and yelled, " Doctor, doctor! - my son just swallowed a roll of film!" The doctor calmly replied, "Let's just wait and see what develops." ~~~~~ One patient came in and said, "Doctor, I have a serious memory problem." The doctor asked, "When did it start?" The man replied, "When did what start?" ~~~~~ I remember one time I told my doctor I had a ringing in my ears. His advice : "Don't answer it." ~~~~~ My doctor sure has his share of nut cases. One said to him,"Doctor, I think I'm a bell." The doctor gave him some pills and said, "Here, take these - If they don't work, give me a ring." ~~~~~ Another guy told the doctor that he thought he was a deck of cards. The doctor simply said, "Go sit over there. I'll deal with you later." ~~~~~ When I told my doctor I broke my leg in two places, He told me to stop going to those places . ~~~~~ You know, doctors can be so frustrating. You wait a month and a half for an appointment, Then he says , "I wish you had come to me sooner." 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
scothunter 12,609 Posted August 28, 2012 Report Share Posted August 28, 2012 Oh dear! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
RossM 8,149 Posted August 28, 2012 Report Share Posted August 28, 2012 3 minutes of my life that I will never get back........... Thanks. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
The one 8,628 Posted August 28, 2012 Author Report Share Posted August 28, 2012 The harbour police are patrolling up the Thames when they come across two pakis in a rowboat .They pull along side and enquire what there up to. were here to invade England they say . The police start laughing ,What just you two "oh no " one replies"Were the last two everyone else is already fecking here Quote Link to post Share on other sites
scothunter 12,609 Posted August 28, 2012 Report Share Posted August 28, 2012 Seriously stop! 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
KittleRox 2,147 Posted August 28, 2012 Report Share Posted August 28, 2012 shite jokes are the REMEDY for depression lad , give the man a break ffs Quote Link to post Share on other sites
christian71 3,187 Posted August 28, 2012 Report Share Posted August 28, 2012 You need to get out more mate Quote Link to post Share on other sites
christian71 3,187 Posted August 28, 2012 Report Share Posted August 28, 2012 PS 19,082 posts and 552 likes says it all Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ArchieHood 3,692 Posted August 28, 2012 Report Share Posted August 28, 2012 I saw a black woman breast feeding her baby on the bus. "Put it away!" I shouted. "No one wants to see that." "Excuse me?" she replied. "Seriously, put a bag over its head or something." Quote Link to post Share on other sites
christian71 3,187 Posted August 28, 2012 Report Share Posted August 28, 2012 I saw a black woman breast feeding her baby on the bus. "Put it away!" I shouted. "No one wants to see that." "Excuse me?" she replied. "Seriously, put a bag over its head or something." 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
scothunter 12,609 Posted August 28, 2012 Report Share Posted August 28, 2012 Christian stop bullying people lol Quote Link to post Share on other sites
christian71 3,187 Posted August 28, 2012 Report Share Posted August 28, 2012 Christian stop bullying people lol Quote Link to post Share on other sites
scothunter 12,609 Posted August 28, 2012 Report Share Posted August 28, 2012 Lol Quote Link to post Share on other sites
darkie 143 Posted August 28, 2012 Report Share Posted August 28, 2012 i bought a pair of tortoiseshell shoes yesterday,it took me 3 hours to get out of the shop Quote Link to post Share on other sites
christian71 3,187 Posted August 28, 2012 Report Share Posted August 28, 2012 i bought a pair of tortoiseshell shoes yesterday,it took me 3 hours to get out of the shop Should of put them on when you got home then Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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