blan89 159 Posted July 17, 2011 Report Share Posted July 17, 2011 my lad is 4 an plays footy, an i sometimes think im in ibrox at an old firm game, especially if he gets hurted i bribed him this sports day, took him aside nite before, an told him all other kids were pants at running, told him if he win most a his races id let him have whatever he wanted...... he won 4 out of 5 , an now he wants a pet snake me an my big mouth you walked right into that one mate. my uncle done the same with his lad,now they've got a tarantula,who everyone in the house bar my cousins terrified of. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
gnasher16 31,489 Posted July 17, 2011 Report Share Posted July 17, 2011 thanks for the replys,,, glad im not the only one Its so easily done mate at all levels.....i made a massive mistake with my son that i,ll always regret....he was a promising footballer as a teenager,signed pro terms with Leyton Orient ( ok not world beaters but he had his foot in the door )....id always wanted to play footie but was crap so found myself living my dreams through him.....got to the point where i was pushing too hard,as a 17 year old he wanted to go out on the lash of a friday and id be drumming it into him to have an early night to be up fresh for tomorrows game...id be trying to steer him away from birds and everything......he ended up resenting me and resenting the game....packed it in a few years later......we,re cool now but certainly a big mistake i made............just gotta stand back and let them enjoy it....no matter what the level.....encourage them yes,dictate to them no Quote Link to post Share on other sites
TOMO 28,702 Posted July 17, 2011 Author Report Share Posted July 17, 2011 thanks for the replys,,, glad im not the only one Its so easily done mate at all levels.....i made a massive mistake with my son that i,ll always regret....he was a promising footballer as a teenager,signed pro terms with Leyton Orient ( ok not world beaters but he had his foot in the door )....id always wanted to play footie but was crap so found myself living my dreams through him.....got to the point where i was pushing too hard,as a 17 year old he wanted to go out on the lash of a friday and id be drumming it into him to have an early night to be up fresh for tomorrows game...id be trying to steer him away from birds and everything......he ended up resenting me and resenting the game....packed it in a few years later......we,re cool now but certainly a big mistake i made............just gotta stand back and let them enjoy it....no matter what the level.....encourage them yes,dictate to them no yes i imagine thats easily done , pushing to much, cheers for that,, Quote Link to post Share on other sites
the_stig 6,614 Posted July 17, 2011 Report Share Posted July 17, 2011 thanks for the replys,,, glad im not the only one Its so easily done mate at all levels.....i made a massive mistake with my son that i,ll always regret....he was a promising footballer as a teenager,signed pro terms with Leyton Orient ( ok not world beaters but he had his foot in the door )....id always wanted to play footie but was crap so found myself living my dreams through him.....got to the point where i was pushing too hard,as a 17 year old he wanted to go out on the lash of a friday and id be drumming it into him to have an early night to be up fresh for tomorrows game...id be trying to steer him away from birds and everything......he ended up resenting me and resenting the game....packed it in a few years later......we,re cool now but certainly a big mistake i made............just gotta stand back and let them enjoy it....no matter what the level.....encourage them yes,dictate to them no same as my lad gnash signed for notts county at 16 went to grantham and torquey packed up at 20 hates the game and all it is now ..took up bricklaying and landscaping did a bit of boxing does kick boxing now for fun --i stay well out of it .. we where away camping and fishing recentley had a kick about and a laugh on the beach made me think i may have pushd him to hard from the age of 10 and took all the fun out of it at one time he had a room full of trophys n medals all in a box in the loft now .. -- i hound all 3 of em now over money saving and grafting hard .. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
gnasher16 31,489 Posted July 17, 2011 Report Share Posted July 17, 2011 same as my lad gnash signed for notts county at 16 went to grantham and torquey packed up at 20 hates the game and all it is now ..took up bricklaying and landscaping did a bit of boxing does kick boxing now for fun --i stay well out of it .. we where away camping and fishing recentley had a kick about and a laugh on the beach made me think i may have pushd him to hard from the age of 10 and took all the fun out of it at one time he had a room full of trophys n medals all in a box in the loft now .. -- i hound all 3 of em now over money saving and grafting hard .. Yep not nice is it mate.....what puts me on even more of a guilt trip is my boy loves the game now he often comes down the Hammers with me.....he only fell out of love with the game for the years i was on his back !!...Id like to think ive made it up to him career wise but thats not the point is it.....certainly a tick in the f**k ups column for me Quote Link to post Share on other sites
blan89 159 Posted July 17, 2011 Report Share Posted July 17, 2011 do you think pushing a kid hard when he's younger but gradually easing up as they get older and show they can be trusted to work hard and be dilligent themselves would be the way to go? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Simoman 110 Posted July 17, 2011 Report Share Posted July 17, 2011 My two had sports day a couple of weeks ago, one is a natural athlete, takes up a sport and sticks with it, she has had swimming lessons for 6 years now and never misses them, and is also amazing academically, the younger was just happy taking part but i'm sure will succeed in life through sheer determination and strength of character (i hope). But i was screaming on the sidelines, purely because i want them to enjoy it and be happy, and winning makes them happy. I think any responsible parent wants their child to be happy, and nowdays sucess in sport can be financially profitable but i learnt the hard may that academic success also increases your standard of living and employment opportunities, although nowdays in my late 30's i have finally realised that (for me) money does not equate happiness Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Kay 3,709 Posted July 17, 2011 Report Share Posted July 17, 2011 I think sometimes parents can involve there kids in to much after school stuff, my sister in law has had to sit back & take a long hard look at the kids after school life, they have 2 girls 12 & 8 It was getting to the point when the kids wernt getting any tea till gone 8 oclock at night & were miserable & basically unhappy simply because they didnt want to upset mommy 5 evenings a week the kids were at something or other , i am all for encouraging kids to have an interest after school. weather its a sport or something at the library , or cubs that sort of thing. but 5 nights a weeks excessive by my standards Quote Link to post Share on other sites
gnasher16 31,489 Posted July 17, 2011 Report Share Posted July 17, 2011 do you think pushing a kid hard when he's younger but gradually easing up as they get older and show they can be trusted to work hard and be dilligent themselves would be the way to go? I think you just gotta stand back and let them find their feet...let them enjoy the sport they are good at......if and when they start to take it more serious thats the time for you to do the same.....the mistake i made was trying to dedicate my son to the sport before he was ready....as the saying says " you cant do it for them "..... If i had my time again thats how id play it anyway. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
the_stig 6,614 Posted July 17, 2011 Report Share Posted July 17, 2011 (edited) same as my lad gnash signed for notts county at 16 went to grantham and torquey packed up at 20 hates the game and all it is now ..took up bricklaying and landscaping did a bit of boxing does kick boxing now for fun --i stay well out of it .. we where away camping and fishing recentley had a kick about and a laugh on the beach made me think i may have pushd him to hard from the age of 10 and took all the fun out of it at one time he had a room full of trophys n medals all in a box in the loft now .. -- i hound all 3 of em now over money saving and grafting hard .. Yep not nice is it mate.....what puts me on even more of a guilt trip is my boy loves the game now he often comes down the Hammers with me.....he only fell out of love with the game for the years i was on his back !!...Id like to think ive made it up to him career wise but thats not the point is it.....certainly a tick in the f**k ups column for me thing is i was at the time a level one football coach and should have known better ..they`ve all turned out ok run thr own part buissneses as well as holding down full time jobs .. and i`ve learnt to chill out .. a bit Edited July 17, 2011 by the_stig Quote Link to post Share on other sites
blan89 159 Posted July 17, 2011 Report Share Posted July 17, 2011 do you think pushing a kid hard when he's younger but gradually easing up as they get older and show they can be trusted to work hard and be dilligent themselves would be the way to go? I think you just gotta stand back and let them find their feet...let them enjoy the sport they are good at......if and when they start to take it more serious thats the time for you to do the same.....the mistake i made was trying to dedicate my son to the sport before he was ready....as the saying says " you cant do it for them "..... If i had my time again thats how id play it anyway. my lads only 1 so unless they bring power crawling into the olympics we'll just have to wait and see. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
gnasher16 31,489 Posted July 17, 2011 Report Share Posted July 17, 2011 thing is i was at the time a level one football coach and should have known better ..they`ve all turned out ok run thr own part buissneses as well as holding down full time jobs .. and i`ve learnt to chill out .. a bit Good for you,being a parents not easy...i was a complete f**k up at it but some things we just dont get a second chance at sadly. In my case id already experienced in my own life the dedication and hard work it took to reach a decent level in a different sport,and that was without much natural ability.......my son was the exact opposite,all the talent and ability but no dedication......it just annoyed me at the time but we live and learn. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
WILF 50,113 Posted July 17, 2011 Report Share Posted July 17, 2011 Its hard, its natural in most men to be competative, nothing to be ashamed of. Fair play to you Gnasher for an obviously very honest and heartfelt post ....I was always fircely competative when I played and more than one destroyed dressing room is testament to that fact, I just went to this whole other place in my head and I still find it hard when I watch my girls play sport to remember that its not me out there and the most important thing is that they are enjoying themselves. Funny, as most who know me off pitch would not think I was the type of person I was on the pitch. I still miss that feeling big time. The main job is to be mature enough to keep a lid on yourself and make sure the kids are happy. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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