nod 285 Posted October 27, 2010 Report Share Posted October 27, 2010 I saw a Muslim fall into the river this morning and, being a responsible citizen, I informed emergency services immediately. That was several hours ago and they still haven't responded. I'm starting to think that I may have wasted a bloody stamp! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
skinner 348 Posted October 27, 2010 Report Share Posted October 27, 2010 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Lab 10,979 Posted October 27, 2010 Report Share Posted October 27, 2010 Two Irish blokes are out hunting in the woods when Paddy says "I'm bursting for a shite but haven't got anything to wipe my arse on" Murphy says "Have you got a fiver?" "Yes" says Paddy "Well use that" so Paddy goes off for 5 minutes and comes back with shit all over his hands and clothes Murphy says "WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?" Paddy looks at him and goes "Have you ever tried to wipe your arse with 3 pound coins, five 20ps and two 50 pence pieces?" Quality......... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
gav22 24 Posted October 27, 2010 Report Share Posted October 27, 2010 Two Irish blokes are out hunting in the woods when Paddy says "I'm bursting for a shite but haven't got anything to wipe my arse on" Murphy says "Have you got a fiver?" "Yes" says Paddy "Well use that" so Paddy goes off for 5 minutes and comes back with shit all over his hands and clothes Murphy says "WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?" Paddy looks at him and goes "Have you ever tried to wipe your arse with 3 pound coins, five 20ps and two 50 pence pieces?" he was a brit if he was irish he would have had euros in his pocket Quote Link to post Share on other sites
andyfr1968 772 Posted October 27, 2010 Report Share Posted October 27, 2010 I'm not posting any jokes. I got into trouble last time... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
andyfr1968 772 Posted October 27, 2010 Report Share Posted October 27, 2010 which one was that for andy. Don't tempt me, I've had a couple of beers.... It was really bad though, no need to offend folks 'cos it will. Plenty!! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
FightTheBan 1,147 Posted October 28, 2010 Report Share Posted October 28, 2010 I'm not posting any jokes. I got into trouble last time... I nearly got banned! You were a bad influence that night..is what I told the MOD. FTB Quote Link to post Share on other sites
bob.243 9,829 Posted October 28, 2010 Report Share Posted October 28, 2010 I saw a Muslim fall into the river this morning and, being a responsible citizen, I informed emergency services immediately. That was several hours ago and they still haven't responded. I'm starting to think that I may have wasted a bloody stamp! :clapping: Hope it was a 2nd class stamp. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
andyfr1968 772 Posted October 28, 2010 Report Share Posted October 28, 2010 I'm not posting any jokes. I got into trouble last time... I nearly got banned! You were a bad influence that night..is what I told the MOD. FTB I still feel bad about that! One too many beers and bad taste on my part... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
dafydd thomas 13 Posted October 28, 2010 Report Share Posted October 28, 2010 An army captain takes his post in Iraq. "Whats this camel doing tied up outside the barracks soldier?" Soldier replies "There are 250 men here and no women. Sometimes the men get 'urges' sir!". A month later and captain has urges of his own. He puts a ladder behind the Camel, gets up and shags it. He says "Is that how the men do it soldier?" "No sir! They usually ride it to the brothel!" nice one Quote Link to post Share on other sites
albert64 1,882 Posted October 28, 2010 Report Share Posted October 28, 2010 paddy bought 2 horses and could never remember which 1 was which so he cut the tail off 1 and that worked great till the other horse caught his tail in a bush and it looked just like the other 1 his pal said notch the ear of 1 of them that worked great till the other 1 caught his ear on a barbed wire fence the pal suggested paddy measure the horses for height and he was delighted to find the black 1 was 2" taller than the white 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
christian71 3,187 Posted October 28, 2010 Report Share Posted October 28, 2010 (edited) I'm not posting any jokes. I got into trouble last time... I nearly got banned! You were a bad influence that night..is what I told the MOD. FTB I still feel bad about that! One too many beers and bad taste on my part... So you should i no angel but it was fecking disgusting Edited October 28, 2010 by christian71 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Lab 10,979 Posted October 28, 2010 Report Share Posted October 28, 2010 Andy...you couldny pm it then could you cause i missed it.............i wont be offended Quote Link to post Share on other sites
andyfr1968 772 Posted October 28, 2010 Report Share Posted October 28, 2010 Andy...you couldny pm it then could you cause i missed it.............i wont be offended Really?? It's properly wrong.... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Terryorr 27 Posted October 28, 2010 Report Share Posted October 28, 2010 Paki went into chemist and ask for Anadin and chemist give him it and paki left. The chemist soon realised that he had given him arsonic by mistake and rushed after him. He soon caught up with him and said : I just give you arsonic instead of anadin: paki ask : whats the difference: chemist replies : you owe me another fecking quid: Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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