gonetoearth 5,144 Posted September 25, 2009 Report Share Posted September 25, 2009 A LAWYER AND A SCOUSER WERE SAT TOGETHER ON A LONG HAUL FLIGHT ATFER THE USUAL PLEASANTRY'S THEY SETTLED DOWN FOR THE TRIP THE LAWYER SAT THINKING, WHILE NEXT TO HIM THE SCOUSER WENT TO SLEEP , THE LAWYER DECIDED TO WAKE THE SLEEPING SCOUSER AND PUT FORWARD A PROPOSAL , ILL ASK YOU A QUESTION IF YOU DON'T KNOW THE ANSWER YOU GIVE ME £5 POUNDS YOU ASK ME . IF I DON'T KNOW THE ANSWER . ILL GIVE YOU £500 HUNDRED , THE SCOUSER YAWNED AND NODDED. THE LAWYER WITH A SMILE SAID WHAT IS THE DISTANCE FROM THE EARTH TO THE MOON , THE SCOUSER SCRATCHED HIS HEAD YAWNED PUT HIS HAND IN HIS POCKET PULLED OUT A FIVER AND PUT IT INTO THE LAWYERS HAND YOUR TURN , WHAT GOES UP A HILL WITH THREE LEGS AND COMES DOWN WITH FOUR LEGS SAY THE SCOUSER , THEN TURNS OVER AND CARRY'S ON SNOOZING, LEAVING THE LAWYER TO GOOGLE THE QUESTION ON HIS LAP TOP TO NO AVAIL, THEN RINGS SEVERAL FRIENDS STILL NO SUCCESS , AN HOUR PASSES HE WAKES UP THE SCOUSER AND PUTS FIVE HUNDRED POUNDS IN HIS HAND , AND SAYS WHAT GOES UP A HILL WITH THREE LEGS AND COMES DOWN WITH FOUR , THE SCOUSER PEELS A FIVER OUT OF THE BUNDLE OF MONEY PUTS IT IN THE LAWYERS HAND SMILES AND GOES BACK TO SLEEP Quote Link to post Share on other sites
TOMO 28,459 Posted September 26, 2009 Report Share Posted September 26, 2009 a scouser on a long haul flight.........................are you shure they only go to ibiza and majorca Quote Link to post Share on other sites
lost scouse 46 Posted September 26, 2009 Report Share Posted September 26, 2009 ibiza and majorca is a long haul flight is,nt it Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Malt 379 Posted September 26, 2009 Report Share Posted September 26, 2009 ibiza and majorca is a long haul flight is,nt it Don't get the joke, (pissed! ) but like the avatar mate, fecking class film! ABBEY NORMAL! :laugh: Quote Link to post Share on other sites
gonetoearth 5,144 Posted September 27, 2009 Author Report Share Posted September 27, 2009 ibiza and majorca is a long haul flight is,nt it isle of man is isnt it Quote Link to post Share on other sites
the_stig 6,614 Posted September 27, 2009 Report Share Posted September 27, 2009 laptop and a mobile on a plane cant be true must be a joke Quote Link to post Share on other sites
littletimmy 71 Posted September 27, 2009 Report Share Posted September 27, 2009 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Swampy 147 Posted September 29, 2009 Report Share Posted September 29, 2009 A scouser on a plane? Must have been flying ConAir. 90% of scousers have admitted they like sex in shower. The other 10% haven't been to prison yet! rgds Swampy Not ninging in Liverpool for a long time Quote Link to post Share on other sites
paulmuzzer2 0 Posted September 29, 2009 Report Share Posted September 29, 2009 A scouser on a plane? Must have been flying ConAir. 90% of scousers have admitted they like sex in shower. The other 10% haven't been to prison yet! rgds Swampy Not ninging in Liverpool for a long time Quote Link to post Share on other sites
craigyboy 1,274 Posted September 29, 2009 Report Share Posted September 29, 2009 a few scouse jokes.. why wasnt jesus born in merseyside.....cos god couldnt find 3 wise men and a virgin A Liverpool fan walks past a shop and sees the video "Liverpool - The Glory Years". He goes into the shop and asks how much. "£100" says the shopkeeper. "That's a bit steep, how come it's so dear ??" "Well its a tenner for the video and £90 for the Betamax recorder!! A man was walking down a street in the centre of Manchester and saw a Rotweiler attacking an old lady. He immediately ran over to the dog and started to struggle in which he sustained many bites, but he eventually he got his hands around the dog's neck and strangled it until it was dead. A passing reporter commented: that was f*****g fantastic how you saved that old dears life!, I have to write a story about this, how about the headline - Manchester United fan saves granny's life?, "i'm not a Utd fan" replied the bloke. "well how about Man City fan saves granny's life"? said the reporter. "I'm not a City fan either" siad our hero, " I'm from Liverpool". "Never mind I know just the headline, you read the paper tomorrow" said the reporter. The man picks up the paper the following day to read the headline - SCOUSE b*****d KILLS FAMILY PET!! Q: What is the difference between a battery and a Scouser A: A battery has a positive side. Q.What's the difference between Batman and a Scouser? A.Batman can go anywhere without Robin. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
akton 15 Posted September 29, 2009 Report Share Posted September 29, 2009 A LAWYER AND A SCOUSER WERE SAT TOGETHER ON A LONG HAUL FLIGHT ATFER THE USUAL PLEASANTRY'S THEY SETTLED DOWN FOR THE TRIP THE LAWYER SAT THINKING, WHILE NEXT TO HIM THE SCOUSER WENT TO SLEEP , THE LAWYER DECIDED TO WAKE THE SLEEPING SCOUSER AND PUT FORWARD A PROPOSAL , ILL ASK YOU A QUESTION IF YOU DON'T KNOW THE ANSWER YOU GIVE ME £5 POUNDS YOU ASK ME . IF I DON'T KNOW THE ANSWER . ILL GIVE YOU £500 HUNDRED , THE SCOUSER YAWNED AND NODDED. THE LAWYER WITH A SMILE SAID WHAT IS THE DISTANCE FROM THE EARTH TO THE MOON , THE SCOUSER SCRATCHED HIS HEAD YAWNED PUT HIS HAND IN HIS POCKET PULLED OUT A FIVER AND PUT IT INTO THE LAWYERS HAND YOUR TURN , WHAT GOES UP A HILL WITH THREE LEGS AND COMES DOWN WITH FOUR LEGS SAY THE SCOUSER , THEN TURNS OVER AND CARRY'S ON SNOOZING, LEAVING THE LAWYER TO GOOGLE THE QUESTION ON HIS LAP TOP TO NO AVAIL, THEN RINGS SEVERAL FRIENDS STILL NO SUCCESS , AN HOUR PASSES HE WAKES UP THE SCOUSER AND PUTS FIVE HUNDRED POUNDS IN HIS HAND , AND SAYS WHAT GOES UP A HILL WITH THREE LEGS AND COMES DOWN WITH FOUR , Like it .................brilliant mate :clapper: THE SCOUSER PEELS A FIVER OUT OF THE BUNDLE OF MONEY PUTS IT IN THE LAWYERS HAND SMILES AND GOES BACK TO SLEEP Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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