Jump to content

Simoman

Members
 View Profile  See their activity

  • Content Count

    13,786

  • Joined

  • Last visited

 Content Type 

Everything posted by Simoman

  1. Simoman
    Take a left off the A9 near Aviemore, go past ther pub, take the track on the left hand side and when you go past the hay barn its the third grass field on the left........... is this the field with the green hedge? Exactly, its a privet.......
  2. Simoman
    You ,my man, are delusional if you think he only had ONE one night stand!. Wilf and his mate raol moat passed him around like a tear and share garlic bread. Anyway that aint you in the picture with the shark!, how do i know?, because you are never seen out with your old skool air max with the visible air bubble. Clown You b*****d, Cyril was a good man and far too good for wilf, although the cockney did stay up one night watching the wrecking crew dvd with Cyril whilst i put the candles on, poured myself a glass of rose and had a bath, i did hear lots of "have it" from downstairs but alway
  3. Simoman
    Take a left off the A9 near Aviemore, go past ther pub, take the track on the left hand side and when you go past the hay barn its the third grass field on the left...........
  4. Simoman
    You ,my man, are delusional if you think he only had ONE one night stand!. Wilf and his mate raol moat passed him around like a tear and share garlic bread. Anyway that aint you in the picture with the shark!, how do i know?, because you are never seen out with your old skool air max with the visible air bubble. Clown You b*****d, Cyril was a good man and far too good for wilf, although the cockney did stay up one night watching the wrecking crew dvd with Cyril whilst i put the candles on, poured myself a glass of rose and had a bath, i did hear lots of "have it" from downstairs but alway
  5. Simoman
    The best ballad, in fact song full stop for me.........
  6. Simoman
    Im sick of trying to give my great advice on these threads, im away to kiss my Robson Green poster.............
  7. Simoman
    Another biased view, zander are the daddies!!!
  8. Simoman
    Mini Gun?
  9. Simoman
    You ,my man, are delusional if you think he only had ONE one night stand!. Wilf and his mate raol moat passed him around like a tear and share garlic bread. Anyway that aint you in the picture with the shark!, how do i know?, because you are never seen out with your old skool air max with the visible air bubble. Clown You b*****d, Cyril was a good man and far too good for wilf, although the cockney did stay up one night watching the wrecking crew dvd with Cyril whilst i put the candles on, poured myself a glass of rose and had a bath, i did hear lots of "have it" from downstairs but alway
  10. Simoman
    My former life partner "Cliff"(after Cyril) with a young "Demascus" on skegness beach, we lured him in on corned beef and lidl mackeral fillets before transfering him to a cooler box and enjoyed a moonlit BBQ on the beach with strawberries, champers and cheese straws.............Cliff was unfortunately devoured in the early hours of the monring whilst putting out the recycling, he hadn't shaved his back that week and "Demascus" thought we had a baboon raiding the washing line again looking for my thongs, all we ever found of Cliff was his nipple ring and one family guy slipper, sad times......
  11. Simoman
    When i saw jigsaw had started a thread called "on the goats" i had a totally different perspective...........
  12. Simoman
    This is a young "Geoff" with my then life partner Cyril, he wasted 17 good years and blew it all on a one night stand with the bass guitarist from 's pop group Big Country................but im not bitter. Cyril was later credited with inventing the i pad, and is now located in California where he runs a successfull colonic irrigation centre servicing some of the Hollywood greats including Donald Pleasence, Martin Scorsese and the drummer from ELO...........
  13. Simoman
    It would be no feckin good behind you Baboons are inteligent and it would be savouring the last few minutes of its life in the yard full of pitbulls :laugh:
  14. Simoman

    "Demascus" 10ft Bull shark at open stud. Proven single handed on betterware salesman, hyenas, baboons and jehovahs witness'. £500 but may accept an egg in return. Add a single handed killing machine into your line "Demascus" has a high sperm count and i can post photos of his shark weiner in action

    1. Simoman

      Simoman

      erm lab, im "atlking" shit pmsl

    2. Lab

      Lab

      looks like your talking it and i'm spelling it!!...lol

    3. Simoman

      Simoman

      Fear the wrath of "Demascus"

    4. Show next comments  141 more
  15. Simoman
    Just to add, im not one for bigging myself or my stock up but "Geoff" was introduced into the minshaw line in 1997 and i think added wind (he had a badly fitted gastric band) and tight feet.......
  16. Simoman
    I had one, was a moody sod, always sharpening his claws on the furniture and leaving "presents" behind the sofa....... Have you had Paulus round for evening tea.. Im DEEPLY offended, do my photos look blurry?
  17. Simoman
    Heres the proof, before "Demascus" came into my life anf fulfilled it with love and gore, i had a lion called "Geoff", i loved that guard lion, he did his best to protect, not only me, but old people and children in the community, here he is being slipped on a local pest after it urinated on a dwarf who was merely sunbathing on the local park after abusing a foal at a local petting zoo................"Geoff" met an unfortunate ending when he was found straying by the local dog warden and euthansed as i was fooked if i was gonna pay a £25 recovery fee............... jessdale your jealousy s
  18. Simoman
    This is "Demascus" chilling on the lawn whilst i remove a baboons arm from the filter, unfortunately if affected the water quality of the pond and i lost 3 koi............
  19. Simoman
    I did it with a zander, much 'arder than a pike... I have already trained a zander, how do you think i got the fish to photograph to train the pike??. Doh ! To be honest freshwater predators are for beginners, i have a bull shark in the koi pond fitted with a oxygen tank so it can leave the water and devour any trespassers, baboons, hyenas and even the Steven Segal three toed sloth are all raving homos when faced with my 10 foot bull shark. "Demascus" has so far accounted for three betterware salesman, two jehovahs witnesses, a mormon and "Shakma", king of the baboons who thought due
  20. Simoman
    watch it you lol, well Si if (any) pups razzmatzz 29in 35k , gsd bitch 24in could be big feckers, big rabbits by me lol Ray, you didn't mention the shepherd bitches weight, you aren't slacking on me are you? Ray i have organised a stall at EDRD, we are doing "ray guesses the weight of your dog for a quid", we will be raking it in mate :laugh:
  21. Simoman
    I had one, was a moody sod, always sharpening his claws on the furniture and leaving "presents" behind the sofa.......
  22. Simoman
  23. Simoman
    Just remember lad, opinions are like arseholes, everyones got one but some are full of shit................
  24. Simoman
    So does that mean after October we can play THL's favourite game Ray, guess the weight and height of Rays dog?
  25. Simoman
    What a cracker of a pup..........
×
×
  • Create New...