jukel123 6,570 Posted October 29, 2022 Report Share Posted October 29, 2022 (edited) My mother always uses to say to me" leave the toilet as you found it". Since our shared outside toilet (violin job) was often blocked with foot long logs and shit paper in the shape of torn scraps of The News of the World, I had difficulty in coming to terms with that instruction. However I got the gist. Yesterday I was in a garden centre cafe spending my grey pounds, along with all the other grey haired punters, when I felt the call of nature. Ablutions finished, I looked down into the toilet to reveal a very smeared bog. Heeding my ma's advice I reached for the bog brush. What greeted me was truly horrifying. The head of the brush was smeared with weeks and weeks of shit. However, I got to work andsuddenly thought to myself, ' what is the point of this, all I'm doing is introducing my bacteria to last week's bacteria so they can breed into supper mutant bacteria. The pan may look clean but it is charged with super bugs ready to leap into other peoples arseholes. I am now writing to my MP to start a nationwide campaign banning the use of toilet brushes. I firmly believe they have been planted by terrorists in the hope of infecting the entirety of the innocent UK population. Good day. Yes I know I need to get out more. Edited October 29, 2022 by jukel123 1 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Nicepix 5,650 Posted October 29, 2022 Report Share Posted October 29, 2022 Bain of my life Jukel. Since having bowel surgery about three years ago I've gone from a constipated three times a week man to a three minute warning man. I pick my fishing spots accordingly, but when out all day on mole-patrol I sometimes have to use public conveniances and some of them are unfit for purpose. The worst are those holes in the ground that you have to squat over. Most look like the previous users were American WW2 bomb aimers. And the ones with pedestals never have seats. I think we should start a Good Bogs Guide to name and shame those who do not keep their schithouses in order. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Daniel cain 42,889 Posted October 29, 2022 Report Share Posted October 29, 2022 24 minutes ago, Nicepix said: Bain of my life Jukel. Since having bowel surgery about three years ago I've gone from a constipated three times a week man to a three minute warning man. I pick my fishing spots accordingly, but when out all day on mole-patrol I sometimes have to use public conveniances and some of them are unfit for purpose. The worst are those holes in the ground that you have to squat over. Most look like the previous users were American WW2 bomb aimers. And the ones with pedestals never have seats. I think we should start a Good Bogs Guide to name and shame those who do not keep their schithouses in order. nothing worse than being caught short builders bucket,wet wipes,carry bags and cable ties in the van/ truck at all times... 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
jukel123 6,570 Posted October 29, 2022 Author Report Share Posted October 29, 2022 1 hour ago, Nicepix said: Bain of my life Jukel. Since having bowel surgery about three years ago I've gone from a constipated three times a week man to a three minute warning man. I pick my fishing spots accordingly, but when out all day on mole-patrol I sometimes have to use public conveniances and some of them are unfit for purpose. The worst are those holes in the ground that you have to squat over. Most look like the previous users were American WW2 bomb aimers. And the ones with pedestals never have seats. I think we should start a Good Bogs Guide to name and shame those who do not keep their schithouses in order. I have had prostate problems since my thirties. Trust me I have a mental map of every toilet, lay by and quiet back street in Scotland. Those French holes in the ground which make you squat like a sumo wrestler are barbaric. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Arry 18,603 Posted October 29, 2022 Report Share Posted October 29, 2022 I much prefer paper to them brushes. Cheers Arry 1 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Lenmcharristar 9,180 Posted October 29, 2022 Report Share Posted October 29, 2022 Bet theres a lot familiar with this 1 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Nicepix 5,650 Posted October 29, 2022 Report Share Posted October 29, 2022 2 hours ago, Daniel cain said: nothing worse than being caught short builders bucket,wet wipes,carry bags and cable ties in the van/ truck at all times... When I go fishing on the boat at a place on the Vienne there is no access to the far bank for miles, but there are a couple of places where I can disembark and empty the bilges so to speak. Its a bu99er having to get the rods in, the anchors up, motor across the river, chuck a land anchor onto some rocks and scramble ashore when the big hand is approaching the 3 minute warning time being up. The place is full of coypu droppings so I'm not spoiling anything. 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Lenmcharristar 9,180 Posted October 29, 2022 Report Share Posted October 29, 2022 35 minutes ago, baker boy said: I've got a load of Africans working for me they havent mastered the flush yet Looks like hes painting a picture of an african on the wall Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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