jasper65 6 Posted January 27, 2007 Report Share Posted January 27, 2007 "Your not fat.... your cuddly" "I love you" 'No your bum does'nt look big in that' :whistle: "no i would'nt cheat on you, i've never cheated on anybody' 'I have only had one or two lovers befor you' God will someone shut me up i'm giving too much away Well Good, goes on the simular lines to what I say to my missus Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Lurcherbitch Posted January 27, 2007 Report Share Posted January 27, 2007 (edited) 'your looking well' 'the battries on my mobile went dead & i could'nt get to a phone' ' no size really does'nt matter' ............. had to say it again, cause........well.... it really is funny Edited January 27, 2007 by Lurcherbitch Quote Link to post Share on other sites
FastDogz 155 Posted January 27, 2007 Report Share Posted January 27, 2007 " If i loose you i have nothing" ??? This came from a lad i know in a very sucsessful european band?? How does he work that one out... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Shameless Posted January 27, 2007 Report Share Posted January 27, 2007 no I am not in the pub (while standing outside near the road as the cars go past)saying cant you hear the 360 engine or the dumper, but I am gonna stop for a quick one on the way home(covers why you have beer breath) then when at home no I am not pissed I have had a really hard day at work and I am knackered Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Ditch_Shitter Posted January 27, 2007 Report Share Posted January 27, 2007 Bible. Koran. Anything ever said by a politician. How do ye know when a woman's about to lie? ..... She opens her f*cking mouth. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
david2363 42 Posted January 28, 2007 Report Share Posted January 28, 2007 "He's a great dog, kills 2 out of 3, - I dont really want to sell him" This is usually followed by "of course he's broken to livestock"........... ..... A few days later you slip the fvcker on something, he dissapears over a hill, and when you catch sight of him again, he's got a sheep by the head. RUN! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Ossie 11 Posted January 28, 2007 Report Share Posted January 28, 2007 ..... A few days later you slip the fvcker on something, he dissapears over a hill, and when you catch sight of him again, he's got a sheep by the head. haha, that made me giggle like a schoolgirl... i've heard some great lies from my dad. my favourites being the time he came home from the pub, completely arseholed, and went straight up to the sheds on the meadow. came in, mum asked him what he was doing, and he said he was "putting the dog in the kennel"... next day she remembered he didn't have a dog with him when he went to the pub...mum goes out to the shed to feed the horse, finds a pygmy goat... apparently they had it at the pub, and dad took it home. mum phoned dad at work... someone else answered the phone, and shouted to my dad... "paul! i think she's found the goat..." and when he told her he was taking the dogs out to do a bit of lamping... and went straight down the pub & stayed there til they chucked him out... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
david2363 42 Posted January 28, 2007 Report Share Posted January 28, 2007 Of course I love you. :whistle: Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Frank Posted January 28, 2007 Report Share Posted January 28, 2007 I will allways love you :whistle: , you look good in anything :whistle: , before sex: god your lovely. After sex: im knackerd, got to get up in the morning :whistle: :whistle: LURCHER FOR SALE, genuine reason, 15 months, ready to start. :whistle: Lurcher pups, parents Ex workers and pets, £250 each . :whistle: WILD POLECATS, make fantastic workers, keeper/pest controler bred, fed on real flesh £40 each :whistle: Frank. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
FastDogz 155 Posted January 28, 2007 Report Share Posted January 28, 2007 How do ye know when a woman's about to lie? ..... She opens her f*cking mouth. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
snoopdog 1,256 Posted January 28, 2007 Report Share Posted January 28, 2007 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Lurcherbitch Posted January 28, 2007 Report Share Posted January 28, 2007 Used it tonight..........."am washing my hair" Really ment 'am bathing a dog'............Used it yesterday......... 'sorry cant make it got an emergancy' really ment..... got another dog coming in. OK Girls i will shut up . you know you have all used them. Oh yeah! there was that.......... 'it's a matter of life and death' am swamped and a life depends on it.......really meens.....f**k off, found someone that will come round with a more expensive wine Will shut up......i will shut up Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Ray Mears 272 Posted January 28, 2007 Report Share Posted January 28, 2007 the most used one has got to be....ow god whats that smell..........its the dog Quote Link to post Share on other sites
The Ferret 0 Posted January 28, 2007 Report Share Posted January 28, 2007 God, I'm so sorry, I thought this was ...............'s land!! Ferret Quote Link to post Share on other sites
johnskevena 0 Posted January 28, 2007 Report Share Posted January 28, 2007 I have a pain in my side from laughing at some of these posts Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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