SEAN3513 7 Posted September 9, 2010 Report Share Posted September 9, 2010 Ponder on these imponderables for a minute:- 1. If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented? 2. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes? 3. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery? 4. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled? 5. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? 6. Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker? 7. When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say? 8. Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a racing car not called a racist? 9. Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites? 10. Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things? 11. Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one? 12. 'I am' is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that 'I do' is the longest sentence? 13. If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed? 14. What hair colour do they put on the driver's license's of bald men? 15. I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks? 16. Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the postmen can look for them while they deliver the mail? 17. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive. (my fav) 18. No one ever says, 'It's only a game' when their team is winning. 19. Ever wonder about those people who spend £1.50 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards: NAIVE 20. Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool? 21. If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea , does that mean that one enjoys it? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Lab 10,979 Posted September 9, 2010 Report Share Posted September 9, 2010 Ponder on these imponderables for a minute:- 1. If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented? 2. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes? 3. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery? 4. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled? 5. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? 6. Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker? 7. When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say? 8. Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a racing car not called a racist? 9. Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites? 10. Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things? 11. Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one? 12. 'I am' is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that 'I do' is the longest sentence? 13. If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed? 14. What hair colour do they put on the driver's license's of bald men? 15. I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks? 16. Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the postmen can look for them while they deliver the mail? 17. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive. (my fav) 18. No one ever says, 'It's only a game' when their team is winning. 19. Ever wonder about those people who spend £1.50 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards: NAIVE 20. Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool? 21. If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea , does that mean that one enjoys it? Good that, last ones the best! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest traceyg Posted September 9, 2010 Report Share Posted September 9, 2010 Aint you nothing better to do Sean Quote Link to post Share on other sites
scothunter 12,609 Posted September 9, 2010 Report Share Posted September 9, 2010 if your a member of gamblers annoymous,where do they send your winnings to? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Lab 10,979 Posted September 9, 2010 Report Share Posted September 9, 2010 Who picks up a guide dogs shite...? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ArchieHood 3,692 Posted September 9, 2010 Report Share Posted September 9, 2010 Most nudists are people you don't want to see naked. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
andyfr1968 772 Posted September 9, 2010 Report Share Posted September 9, 2010 I liked that!! Number 12 nearly made me fall off my chair!!!!! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
The one 8,594 Posted September 10, 2010 Report Share Posted September 10, 2010 The last ones the funniest Quote Link to post Share on other sites
oakey 57 Posted September 10, 2010 Report Share Posted September 10, 2010 Why is dyslexia such a hard word to spell why does phonetic begin with a p why does your nose run and your feet smell Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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