david2363 42 Posted December 7, 2006 Report Share Posted December 7, 2006 My missus just came downstairs wearing a new outfit she bought for her works Christmas do. She hits me with the "do you like it" routine - "yes" I say "very nice love" Then she says "are you sure you like it?" - "I'M SURE I LIKE IT!!" I reply. Then she asks - "does it make my bum look big?" - I reply "No - it's all the friggin chocolate you eat that makes your bum look big!" She's not talking to me now, what did I do wrong? Women eh? - you cant live with them, and your not allowed to shoot them. :11: Quote Link to post Share on other sites
nelson 0 Posted December 7, 2006 Report Share Posted December 7, 2006 'em mate.Her i'm married to when asked what it would like for it's Birthday always answered " Oh nothing,'cant think of anything". So after a day or so of asking every now and then i got it excactly what it asked for.nothing She was not very happy,but i had a nice quite week or two Quote Link to post Share on other sites
allrounder 47 Posted December 7, 2006 Report Share Posted December 7, 2006 hahahahaha :11: :11: iv got it all to come Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest baldie Posted December 7, 2006 Report Share Posted December 7, 2006 Summat that bleeds every month, and doesnt die, isn,t feckin right. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
nelson 0 Posted December 7, 2006 Report Share Posted December 7, 2006 hahahahaha :11: :11: iv got it all to come Look mate,all your true friends will tell you, DON'T DO IT ! For some strange reason we seem to but leave it well alone.Why have your life organised by someone who dont like your mates or the very fact that you can go out and do as you like Yes they look and smell nice now but after a few years her breath aint quite that sweet in the morning The wedding cake has indeed gone straight to her hips,thigh's,gut,arse,corned beef legs,bingo wings,chins and your remote control ! Your TV will only pick up Eastenders,Coronation Street and Emmerdale farm,during which you will sit and smile at her, for a month or two,before joining the rest of us blokes, fast asleep and snoring Yes your car insurance will go down,but not enough to cover the oaf reversing into things and mowing folk over................and don't say nobody warned you Quote Link to post Share on other sites
david2363 42 Posted December 7, 2006 Author Report Share Posted December 7, 2006 Thats why I'm in favour of gay marraige - - those buggers (no pun intended) have as much right to as miserable as the rest of us Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Eamon.Mc Posted December 7, 2006 Report Share Posted December 7, 2006 They never seem to lift the dogshite and give the penns a clean either. You'd nearly think they had lots to do but they are masters at disguising how well they can shop, spend all your money, make us feel bad about goin out down the boozer, melt our heads when they want something done and best of all their secret weapon WITHHOLD THE PU**Y. :tongue4: That gets us every time. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
david2363 42 Posted December 7, 2006 Author Report Share Posted December 7, 2006 They never seem to lift the dogshite and give the penns a clean either. You'd nearly think they had lots to do but they are masters at disguising how well they can shop, spend all your money, make us feel bad about goin out down the boozer, melt our heads when they want something done and best of all their secret weapon WITHHOLD THE PU**Y. :tongue4: That gets us every time. WHOO HOO Eamon Get it off yer chest. :11: Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Yokshirelass Posted December 7, 2006 Report Share Posted December 7, 2006 Crikey boys if your so p****ed of with your women and your baying for their blood in repayment for all your graft i'm sure your lasses would be more than willing to pay you back monthly! (Sorry I could'nt resist) Seriously though, I am the one who does all the dogs and i'm the one who f***s off to the pubs in a huff! I'm telling ya its not gender its bloody townies Quote Link to post Share on other sites
jigsaw 11,810 Posted December 7, 2006 Report Share Posted December 7, 2006 4 years ago I came home from work at 6.30.The missus sitting on the bottom step of the stairs.She was wearing a knee length fur coat,she let it slip open,nothing on but a thong,f**k me says I what up with you,she says todays your birthday and yes thats my intention.She says you must tie me to the bed and you can do anything you want to me,no holds barred,,,,,,,ANYTHING? says I yes she says ANYTHING.....so I proceeded to tie her up.just to be sure I asked her again....now I'm able to do Anything to ye,yes she purred,well I ran into the next room and came back with my favourite blackthorn stick and beat 7 types of shit out of her,what a night to remember,best birthday I ever had. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
mistwalker 0 Posted December 7, 2006 Report Share Posted December 7, 2006 hahahahaha :11: :11: iv got it all to come Look mate,all your true friends will tell you, DON'T DO IT ! For some strange reason we seem to but leave it well alone.Why have your life organised by someone who dont like your mates or the very fact that you can go out and do as you like Yes they look and smell nice now but after a few years her breath aint quite that sweet in the morning The wedding cake has indeed gone straight to her hips,thigh's,gut,arse,corned beef legs,bingo wings,chins and your remote control ! Your TV will only pick up Eastenders,Coronation Street and Emmerdale farm,during which you will sit and smile at her, for a month or two,before joining the rest of us blokes, fast asleep and snoring Yes your car insurance will go down,but not enough to cover the oaf reversing into things and mowing folk over................and don't say nobody warned you Here, Nelson. Why don't you get off that bloody fence and say what you're really thinking? Don't keep it bottled up like that - it aint good for ya. lol Quote Link to post Share on other sites
FastDogz 155 Posted December 8, 2006 Report Share Posted December 8, 2006 Scuse me - I am the one who lifts the dog shit I very rarley watch eastenders,emmerdale,corrie I also eat like a pig and dont put weight on - Ask Yorkshirelass And if you ask me what i want for my fecking birthday ill tell you Yes i dont have a bloke to do it for me (lifting shit and things) Because i dont want/need one .... :thumbs-up: Poor married/attached people always sound so miserable and they wonder why im single again Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Rabbithunter 456 Posted December 8, 2006 Report Share Posted December 8, 2006 women. they all look the same after 10 pints i am quite drunk asim typing this, so excuse me how come, they nmmake every effort to go out with mates or work, but when yiu take them ouwt they just fire any old shite on, realy pisses me off Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Yokel Matt 918 Posted December 8, 2006 Report Share Posted December 8, 2006 Get one of these for christmas... invaluable :11: Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest lady hunter Posted December 8, 2006 Report Share Posted December 8, 2006 I do all the bloody dogs here, and again like yorkshire lass, i dont have time to watch telly caues all my time is taken up with dogs and as for birthdays, i dont give a shit about presents im 28 now not 9 so that really doesnt bother me , an as for thimgs going to my hips , im a size 10 , you would be lost without us women , :11: Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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