Northerners

[Leeview 792]

Northerners

 

 

Once upon a time, in the Kingdom of Heaven , God went missing for six days.

 

Eventually, Archangel Michael found him on the seventh day resting.

 

He enquired of God, 'Where have you been?'

 

God pointed downwards through the clouds. Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, 'What is it?'

'It's a planet,' replied God, 'and I've put LIFE on it. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a great place of balance.'

'Balance?' inquired Michael, still confused.

 

God explained, pointing down to different parts of the Earth.

'For example, North America will be a place of great opportunity and wealth, while South America is going to be poor; the Middle East over there will be a hot spot, and Russia will be a cold spot. Over there I've placed a continent of white people and over there is a continent of black people.'

 

God continued, pointing to the different countries.

 

This one will be extremely hot and arid while this one will be very cold and covered in ice.'

 

The Archangel , impressed by God's work, then pointed to another area of land and asked, 'What's that?'

 

'Ah,' said God. That's the North of England, the most glorious place on earth. There are beautiful people, eight Premiership football teams in Lancashire, or North West to some, and many impressive cities; it is the home of the world's finest artists, musicians, writers, thinkers, explorers and politicians. The people from the North of England are going to be modest, intelligent and humorous and they're going to be found travelling the world. They'll be extremely sociable, hard-working and high-achieving, and they will be known throughout the world as speakers of truth.'

 

Michael gasped in wonder and admiration but then proclaimed, 'What about balance God, you said there will be BALANCE!'

God replied very wisely, 'Wait till you see the bunch of tossers I'm putting down South !'

[gnipper 6,763]

Nice one matey

[rickyspringer 15]

haha that has just made my day, great lil script!! Top man

[runforyourlife 361]

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...................................................

[Paid 935]

First time I've heard northern monkeys described as "beautiful people"

[runforyourlife 361]

First time I've heard northern monkeys described as "beautiful people"

Typical southern wush, laughs at there jokes, because no one else finds them funny....

[Paid 935]

Don't worry mate, I'm sure you are very pretty.

[TOMO 28,519]

Northerners

 

 

Once upon a time, in the Kingdom of Heaven , God went missing for six days.

 

Eventually, Archangel Michael found him on the seventh day resting.

 

He enquired of God, 'Where have you been?'

 

God pointed downwards through the clouds. Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, 'What is it?'

'It's a planet,' replied God, 'and I've put LIFE on it. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a great place of balance.'

'Balance?' inquired Michael, still confused.

 

God explained, pointing down to different parts of the Earth.

'For example, North America will be a place of great opportunity and wealth, while South America is going to be poor; the Middle East over there will be a hot spot, and Russia will be a cold spot. Over there I've placed a continent of white people and over there is a continent of black people.'

 

God continued, pointing to the different countries.

 

This one will be extremely hot and arid while this one will be very cold and covered in ice.'

 

The Archangel , impressed by God's work, then pointed to another area of land and asked, 'What's that?'

 

'Ah,' said God. That's the North of England, the most glorious place on earth. There are beautiful people, eight Premiership football teams in Lancashire, or North West to some, and many impressive cities; it is the home of the world's finest artists, musicians, writers, thinkers, explorers and politicians. The people from the North of England are going to be modest, intelligent and humorous and they're going to be found travelling the world. They'll be extremely sociable, hard-working and high-achieving, and they will be known throughout the world as speakers of truth.'

 

Michael gasped in wonder and admiration but then proclaimed, 'What about balance God, you said there will be BALANCE!'

God replied very wisely, 'Wait till you see the bunch of tossers I'm putting down South !'

 

 

north west, lancashire shurly God wasn't including scousers

[Wanna be farmer 0]

First time I've heard northern monkeys described as "beautiful people"

Typical southern wush, laughs at there jokes, because no one else finds them funny....

 

Haha, i'll class my self in the middle. It would have been even more funny if it was the other way around.

[craigyboy 1,274]

[SMART DOG 340]

nice one

[colin 0]

nice one mate

[hawkeye 0]

Northerners

 

 

Once upon a time, in the Kingdom of Heaven , God went missing for six days.

 

Eventually, Archangel Michael found him on the seventh day resting.

 

He enquired of God, 'Where have you been?'

 

God pointed downwards through the clouds. Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, 'What is it?'

'It's a planet,' replied God, 'and I've put LIFE on it. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a great place of balance.'

'Balance?' inquired Michael, still confused.

 

God explained, pointing down to different parts of the Earth.

'For example, North America will be a place of great opportunity and wealth, while South America is going to be poor; the Middle East over there will be a hot spot, and Russia will be a cold spot. Over there I've placed a continent of white people and over there is a continent of black people.'

 

God continued, pointing to the different countries.

 

This one will be extremely hot and arid while this one will be very cold and covered in ice.'

 

The Archangel , impressed by God's work, then pointed to another area of land and asked, 'What's that?'

 

'Ah,' said God. That's the North of England, the most glorious place on earth. There are beautiful people, eight Premiership football teams in Lancashire, or North West to some, and many impressive cities; it is the home of the world's finest artists, musicians, writers, thinkers, explorers and politicians. The people from the North of England are going to be modest, intelligent and humorous and they're going to be found travelling the world. They'll be extremely sociable, hard-working and high-achieving, and they will be known throughout the world as speakers of truth.'

 

Michael gasped in wonder and admiration but then proclaimed, 'What about balance God, you said there will be BALANCE!'

God replied very wisely, 'Wait till you see the bunch of tossers I'm putting down South !'

nice one,bud

[Guest lurchers&terriers]

im sure that joke was supposed to be the scottish has the glorious place and england as the ....... down south

[Leeview 792]

First time I've heard northern monkeys described as "beautiful people"

Typical southern wush, laughs at there jokes, because no one else finds them funny....

 

Haha, i'll class my self in the middle. It would have been even more funny if it was the other way around.

If I'd of turned it round you'd of still been in the middle

Y.I.S Leeview