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Ill start, Last night I got the caretakers telephone number for a mill complex my friend lives in, This morning I rang the caretaker and pretended to be my friend and said I had lost my keys and was stuck in the flat and there was a gas leek. It kind of went a bit wrong at this point, I just thought the caretaker would give my friend a wake up call by letting himself in. Oh no..... that would be too easy he only turned the whole gas supply off for the building and smashed the door down to gain access!!! ooops!

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My fiance got me good this morning, waited until i was in the shower and then screamed at the top of her voice. I leapt out the shower, ripping the curtain off the rail in the process, and ran naked into the bedroom. She was standing on the bed screaming that there was a large brown rat in her wardrobe. I got a slipper to twat it with and started pulling stuff out... until she started laughing so I slapped her on the arse with it instead which she didn't find quite so funny :whistling:

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My fiance got me good this morning, waited until i was in the shower and then screamed at the top of her voice. I leapt out the shower, ripping the curtain off the rail in the process, and ran naked into the bedroom. She was standing on the bed screaming that there was a large brown rat in her wardrobe. I got a slipper to twat it with and started pulling stuff out... until she started laughing so I slapped her on the arse with it instead which she didn't find quite so funny :whistling:

 

 

:clapper::clapper: Thats a good one!!

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mum phoned me and says her car was nicked from home 1st thing, and could i pls pls get her to take her to airport ( as she is going to Malta )

sure, i said, phoned work to take morning off to drive 50 miles to mums,

 

20 mins later mum calls and says how long will u be, i said ive done 20 miles will be there soon, then she told me what day it was

 

Arghghghg - good one mum.

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I went into the post office this morning, to buy a little round disk of paper to be stuck in my car, the cashier wanted nearly £200 for this tiny little piece of paper, I really wished that was an April fool!!

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i told a friend just after midnight that id gotten a married woman down the street up the duff and here husband was in the army in iraq lol. he was giving me lots of advise and tell me i was just in shock so to calm down lol. he was RAGIN when i told lol. called me a tosser and a wanker e did haha

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I'm a teacher and I filled the school tray of one of the girls in my class with jelly then left it to set in the staffroom fridge overnight. This morning I told them I wasn't very happy with the state of the classroom and that we'd start by cleaning out their trays. The look on her face when she pulled hers out was priceless. :angel:

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brought a six pack of diet coke bottles. undid 2 of them and place a mento is the lid with a hair holding it in place. told everyone that they was goin cheap down shop so help youselves so as they undid the bottle the mento dropped and fizzed up, shame today was the only day of the week we all where our best suits. common room is rather sticky but worth the bolluckin

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