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Scottish Romance

 

Who said Scots Romance is dead! These are REAL ADS from the

lonely-hearts column.

 

 

Grossly overweight Buckie turf-cutter, 42 years old, Gemini, seeks

nimble sexpot, preferably South American, for tango sessions, candlelit

dinners and humid nights of screaming passion. Must have own car and be

willing to travel. Box 09/08

 

Aberdeen man, 50, in desperate need of a ride. Anything considered.

Box06/03

 

Heavy drinker, 35, Glasgow area, seeks gorgeous sex addict interested

in beer, cigarettes, Celtic football club and starting scraps on

Sauchiehall Street at three in the morning. Box 73/82 .

 

Bitter, disillusioned Dundonian lately rejected by long-time fiancée

seeks decent, honest, reliable woman, if such a thing still exists in

this cruel world of hatchet-faced bitches. Box /41

 

Ginger-haired Paisley troublemaker, gets slit-eyed and shirty after a

few scoops, seeks attractive, wealthy lady for bail purposes, maybe more

Box 84/87

 

Artistic Edinburgh woman, 53, petite, loves rainy walks on the beach,

writing poetry, unusual sea-shells and interesting brown rice dishes,

seeks mystic dreamer for companionship, back rubs and more as we bounce

along like little tumbling clouds on life's beautiful crazy journey.

Strong stomach essential. Box 12/32

 

Chartered accountant, 42, seeks female for marriage. Duties will

include cooking, light cleaning and accompanying me to office social

functions. References required. No timewasters. Box 3/45

 

Bad-tempered, foul-mouthed old b*****d living in a damp cottage in the

arse end of Orkney seeks attractive 21-year old blonde lady with big

chest. Box 40/27

 

Devil-worshiper, Stirling area, seeks like-minded lady for wining and

dining, good conversation, dancing, romantic walks and slaughtering dogs

in cemeteries at midnight under the flinty light of a pale moon.

Box 52/07

 

Attractive brunette, Maryhill area, winner of Miss Wrangler competition

at Frampton's Nightclub, Maryhill, in September 1978, seeks nostalgic

man who's not afraid to cry, for long nights spent comfort-drinking and

listening to old Abba records. Please, Please! Box 30/41

 

Govan man, 27, medium build, brown hair, blue eyes, seeks alibi for the

night of February 27 between 8pm and 11.30pm

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Bitter, disillusioned Dundonian lately rejected by long-time fiancée

seeks decent, honest, reliable woman, if such a thing still exists in

this cruel world of hatchet-faced bitches. Box /41

 

In my defence, i did place that a while ago.......

Things have improved since :icon_eek:

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