DOUBLE EDGED REMARKS

[Guest greengrass123]

Know any good double edgers you know, eg youre looking well (really means youre turning into a fat b*****d)

[The one 8,595]

ANY GOOD

 

Loney heart ads- what they really mean :

ADVENTUROUS = Likes Anal

Athlectic =No tits

30 something =41

Fun =annoying

Wild Gets pissed easily

Beatiful eyes =Face like a robber's dog

Seeks knight in shinning armour = Husband has f****d off with younger model

New age =Hairy with a smelly fanny

Headstrong = Argumentative

Enjoys pubbing and clubbing = Alocoholic

Curvey =Fat c**t

Likes eating out =Lazy fat c**t

 

Hope these help

[lanesra 4,007]

ANY GOOD

 

Loney heart ads- what they really mean :

ADVENTUROUS = Likes Anal

Athlectic =No tits

30 something =41

Fun =annoying

Wild Gets pissed easily

Beatiful eyes =Face like a robber's dog

Seeks knight in shinning armour = Husband has f****d off with younger model

New age =Hairy with a smelly fanny

Headstrong = Argumentative

Enjoys pubbing and clubbing = Alocoholic

Curvey =Fat c**t

Likes eating out =Lazy fat c**t

 

Hope these help

by feck thats hillarious!

[Coney 3]

I will get back to you on that one = ( really means Feck off ).

[huntergatherer 0]

go that on txt about a month ago, i had to stop me van, i laughed so much

[andy s410c 63]

ANY GOOD

 

Loney heart ads- what they really mean :

ADVENTUROUS = Likes Anal

Athlectic =No tits

30 something =41

Fun =annoying

Wild Gets pissed easily

Beatiful eyes =Face like a robber's dog

Seeks knight in shinning armour = Husband has f****d off with younger model

New age =Hairy with a smelly fanny

Headstrong = Argumentative

Enjoys pubbing and clubbing = Alocoholic

Curvey =Fat c**t

Likes eating out =Lazy fat c**t

 

Hope these help

Never a truer word typed!!Quality....

[tote 870]

Swearing at Work

 

Dear Employees:

 

It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals

throughout the company have been using foul language during the course

of normal conversation with their colleagues. Due to complaints received

from some employees who may be easily offended, this type of language

will no longer be tolerated. We do, however, realise the critical

importance of being able to accurately express your feelings when communicating with

colleagues. Therefore, a list of 13 New and Innovative "TRY SAYING"

phrases have been provided so that proper exchange of ideas and information

can continue in an effective manner.

 

1) TRY SAYING: I think you could do with more training.

INSTEAD OF: You don't have a f*cking clue, do you?

 

2) TRY SAYING: She's an aggressive go-getter.

INSTEAD OF: She's a f*cking power-crazy b*tch.

 

3) TRY SAYING: Perhaps I can work late..

INSTEAD OF: And when the f*ck do you expect me to do this?

 

4) TRY SAYING: I'm certain that isn't feasible.

INSTEAD OF: F*ck off a*se-wipe.

 

5) TRY SAYING: Really?

INSTEAD OF: Well f*ck me backwards with a telegraph pole.

 

6) TRY SAYING: Perhaps you should check with...

INSTEAD OF: Tell someone who gives a f*ck.

 

7) TRY SAYING: I wasn't involved in the project.

INSTEAD OF: Not my f*cking problem, mate.

 

TRY SAYING: That's interesting.

INSTEAD OF: What the f*ck?

 

9) TRY SAYING: I'm not sure this can be implemented within the given timescale.

INSTEAD OF: No f*cking chance mate.

 

10) TRY SAYING: It will be tight, but I'll try to schedule it in.

INSTEAD OF: Why the f*ck didn't you tell me that yesterday?

 

11) TRY SAYING: He's not familiar with the issues.

INSTEAD OF: He's got his head up his f*cking a*se.

 

12) TRY SAYING: Excuse me, sir?

INSTEAD OF: Oi, f*ck face.

 

13) TRY SAYING: Of course, I was only going to be at home anyway.

INSTEAD OF: Yeah, who needs f*cking holidays anyway.

 

Thank You,

Human Resources