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Guest Ditch_Shitter

I used to have Bill Oddie's " Little Black Book of Birding ". Ok, the guy's an undisputable c***, but the book's actually brilliant. I gave it to someone so they could learn more of what makes me tick and have a few good laughs at the same time. For Birders, it's cripplingly funny and insightful. For others? I guess it might prove very informative.

 

Anyway, point is; He says that when Ever someone tells him they've seen a bird like nothing in any 'bird book'. Which displays colours to defy a rainbow and is every shape and size imaginable etc. He has a simple, stock answer: " It was a Jay. " :laugh: Birders can appreciate that one.

 

 

Seen things? Probably more bums going up and down than I care to remember. I tend to walk softly and thus would sooner see more Jays!

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Stumbled across loads of things in my time........does anyone remember that pic i once posted of the "dildo" made out of a branch and insulation tape..!!! mad!!

Once found a few polaroids of men with other mens willys up their bum....

 

But a cross dresser had me most concerned one night in the dark and windy woods.....I was actually after birds with long tails!! But not the he-she types......lol...

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Guest WILF
But a cross dresser had me most concerned one night in the dark and windy woods.....I was actually after birds with long tails!! But not the he-she types......lol...

 

 

lol...........Had that happen myself, you get that feeling that somebodys there, well............I had it, so I give the phantom the lamp right in his eyeballs..........poor fecker, some elderly queer in a gay and dogging hotspot nere to me.........."Ahhhh!!!.......errr.......urrmm.........walking your dog are you?" says the poof...........I could only manage a feeble "Yes" and did one as fast as I could.

 

Also found a big rubber dong in the hedgerow one evening............seen a very Barbara Woodhouse looking woman walking Fido up behind me, so nipped in the bushes and gave the dong a kick into Fidos path, the dog did no more than pick up the cock in its mouth and did a perfect retrieve to the old girl..........her reaction was fecking classic!! :clapper:

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But a cross dresser had me most concerned one night in the dark and windy woods.....I was actually after birds with long tails!! But not the he-she types......lol...

 

 

lol...........Had that happen myself, you get that feeling that somebodys there, well............I had it, so I give the phantom the lamp right in his eyeballs..........poor fecker, some elderly queer in a gay and dogging hotspot nere to me.........."Ahhhh!!!.......errr.......urrmm.........walking your dog are you?" says the poof...........I could only manage a feeble "Yes" and did one as fast as I could.

 

Also found a big rubber dong in the hedgerow one evening............seen a very Barbara Woodhouse looking woman walking Fido up behind me, so nipped in the bushes and gave the dong a kick into Fidos path, the dog did no more than pick up the cock in its mouth and did a perfect retrieve to the old girl..........her reaction was fecking classic!! :clapper:

 

:laugh::laugh::laugh:

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went out this morning with the kids and the dogs(not missus) and first things first a bird flew right in front of me and it was (brown in colour with electric blue wings with white lines underneath ...haven't seen this before and looked on google images but no joy..any ideas?

 

then i walked round the corner and seen a couple of young rabbits so i ran towards them with the lurcher pup(8 months) to get her to look and possibly chase as shes seen nothing yet!

but being blind as a bat she stayed beside me wanting to play....so i was telling her she was a moron ...gorm...plonker...

when a young deer came walking up to me i froze :o so did the pup the kids where off somewhere it just stared at me about 25 ft away it was mint. ;) .

i called out the dogs name to get her to come to me but she must of thought i was reving her up as she chased the deer right over the other side of the reserve ..

when she came back i told her she was great...fab...gorgeous....lol :clapper: :clapper: :clapper: :clapper:

 

what have you guys seen while out on a mooch....??????? :victory:

 

Lamping a local golf course came across a couple hard at it...he deff had a hole in one but when 3 lamps hit them there faces were a picture!

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