Brass monkeys.

[THE STIFFMEISTER 18,218]

I was once driving down from Carlisle to Ipswich, after picking my mother in law up , some Inconsiderate c**t had spanked in at Grantham and the south bound was closed , Friday night , packed to the f***ing gunnels with traffic , trapped for about 4 hours stood still , had to go for a shite at the hard shoulder hedge , and sit making small talk with no fags left , or hope of a coffee , with one sock on . 
 

a disaster, I’m sure you’ll all agree , tangible with the piper alpha 

[jukel123 10,501]

37 minutes ago, mackem said:

I have had good times as well mate,I always count my blessings

Well you didn't deserve any good times!

It's sad that people let money go to their heads. My best friend at school was the only one of us to make real money. He imported and exported. I don't know what,I asked no questions,  but it was lucrative.

I hadn't seen him in 20 years and he was keen to meet up in Manchester for a drink. I knew he had a luxurious house in footballers' row and I knew he had a full size. snooker table. So I suggested  I  come to his and we would have a  couple of frames. He said 'I'd f****n love that mate but not tonight.'

I later learned his Mrs who used to be a  chambermaid, and as a kid lived in the same two up two down as most people,  refused access to any of his former mates. The only people allowed across the threshold were monied people.

Poor bloke just used to humour her. They are both dead now. Lady luck favoured them at one time and then she changed her mind and they died young.

Edited 8 hours ago by jukel123

[mackem 31,881]

20 minutes ago, jukel123 said:

Poor bloke just used to humour her. They are both dead now. Lady luck favoured them at one time and then she changed her mind and they died young.

I was getting right into the story,warming to the bloke,I wanted a “And they both lived happily ever after and the last I heard he had retired to Guam/Thailand/ Peleliu to spend his days walking the beaches and fishing”

[Flacko 1,758]

The only time I got warm in bed was when our kid pissed up me back