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Stavross, i think that took courage mate so i think you have done the right thing well done you. My family have things in our past that i dont know about, i only found out recently that my Mam has two half brothers and sisters, which means  i suppose that i have two "half" uncle and aunties! I would rather of known this 40 years ago! Well done you mate. 

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One of my pet peeves is when people transpond peoples problems and compare them to their own but I’ll explain this as I do so myself. 

firstly well done you . It took great moral courage to do the right thing . Very brave mate to do that to what amounts to a stranger . 

secondly , I truly honestly believe that if you are truly mates with someone you can tell them absolutely anything or say anything to them , within reason . I’ve always never been shy in saying to the lads I grew up with “your being a cock mate, stop it “ but I’d never say that in front of people , especially strangers.

thirdly , you have a debt to people you love that are no longer here or need your help. I firmly believe that . I would never ever ever turn my back on people I know if it’s within my abilities to help .

i grew up and knocked about with the same group of lads for over thirty years. In that large group I have two friends I can and would trust intrinsically with everything . I would like to think that in years to come , if one of their offspring reached out to ask what they were really like, I would have enough in the bank to say the hard truths . 
 

you did a good thing there mate , it might help him and to help you to build some bridges, you might even get a part of your friend being back 


 

 

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Just a little update, I’ve had a lovely message from the lad today, he’s been to see the family member and got nothing from him, which was probably to be expected, but now he knows what happened to his dad and that he was a good bloke and not what he feared he might of been 

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