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What A Firkin Day


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was out today doing a bit of work,finished at 2.30 and got in the van,realised i had a friggin puncture.I opened the bit on the step in the transit,got out the wheel brace and the jack.I positioned the jack and went to loosen the nuts,the fukin brace didnt fit the nuts.Now im driving this van for 5 years and never had a puncture,and all the while imdriving about with a brace that cant loosen the wheel nuts.it was boiling hot today and i was well and truly i trouble as I was a long way from home,knew no one from the area,after an hour of trying to contact someone to get me unstuck i ran out of credit for my phone :censored: so then i had to txt the wife(free txt's),she had not got her phone with her.I knocked at a door that had a car parked in it,the''lady'' came out and i explained the situation,asked her if i could borrow her brace just for a minute,she said i dont have one.i informed her ever so politely that every car is issued with a brace,''well i dont'' and she slamed the door in my face,the rotten cow. and after 40 minutes of sitting about the wife gets back to me,in a bit of a pissed off mood now so i kind of barked down the phone to her,she contacted a mate thats into cars/vans etc.he rang me and told me he was at a funeral and wouldnt be about for an hour, :cray: nothing to do but sit tight.out of the blue a lady of african persuasion walked up and asked if i was in trouble,i explained my situation and she quickly went and got her brace and gave it too me,but just my luck.It was too small :censored: .I thanked her and then her hubby came along and we got chating,real nice folk they were.Another local noticed i was siting about for almost 2 hrs and offered to drive me home but i declineed and waited for my mate to arrive.at 5 oclock he came along with the wheel brace needed, :toast: after a few attempts from both of us the nuts refused to moove :cray: .off we went up the road and found a tyre fitter in his place of work.we explained our situation,and asked if we could borrow a wrench or some bit of equiptment to get the job done.He closed shop and came with us and in no time he had the whole buisness put to rest,he was A POLISH BLOKE,i offered him a score but no,he refused to take it.The only way i could repay him was to buy 2 tyres for the front of the van and when I got the van up he informed me i only needed 1.hows that for honesty.On the way back i saw the cow that refused to help me and i slowed down and and beeped at her,she nearly fell over thinking i was going to attack her,i shouted out ''HAVE A NICE DAY YOU TOO'', :laugh: what aballs up of a day,and to think i was driving around all over the country with a brace that wasnt even made for the van.thats my no.1 priority now,get a puncture repair kit pronto.just goes to show you some of these foreignours arent too bad at all.

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:laugh: I always carry that tyre weld stuff around ------------ I had a puncture on a trailer once no spare some old boy gave me his tyre weld and saved the day since then I`ve carried jump leads, spare fuses,foot pump,rad weld,tyre weld.i`ve got more spares than the aa man

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i thought i had at least a tyre changing outfit.i was stunned the brace was the wrong size,lol.i tell ye ive been in remote spots up the sides of mountains with a van full of dead goats and even timber packed from front to back and luckily I never got caught out.I need to sort this out pretty dam quick. the only plus was the african lady was a stunner to look at,so she took some of the pain away for a bit lol.

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:laugh: I always carry that tyre weld stuff around ------------ I had a puncture on a trailer once no spare some old boy gave me his tyre weld and saved the day since then I`ve carried jump leads, spare fuses,foot pump,rad weld,tyre weld.i`ve got more spares than the aa man

now your a mini kwick fit stig :laugh:

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Firkin unbelievable as it reads its totally true,lol

reminds me ----few year ago my mate bought an old caravan to rob parts for a camper van I went along for a run out --it had stood so long the tyres were fooked we got a flat within 10 mile put the spare on which was ok 15 mile further on the other one went sunday afternoon 20 mile from home..... managed to get it/ drag it into the services :D we bought a knife and some glue cut some bits off one tyre to try and make a good one it was like billy smarts circus 4 hours later someone lent us there spare down side was he had to drive 60 mile to take it back to them ..

Edited by the_stig
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Years ago I got stuck with the same problem but luckily only 4 miles from home ,so I walked home , waited for my wife to get home a couple of hours later , drove back to the van with the tools ........all four wheels gone ...fecking van aint even on bricks ,tools gone ,even took the few quid in change from the ashtray.. :censored::censored: 's...Had to get a garage out jack it , four new wheels & tyres, repairs to the body , +£1000for tools that the fecking insurance wouldn't cover...wasn't to pleased if my memory serves me well....always carry the right kit now...

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