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joke..........


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A farmer drove to town for some supplies. He stopped at the hardware store and bought a bucket and a gallon of paint. He then stopped by the feed store and picked up a pair of chickens and a goose.

On his way home, the truck made a funny noise, so he stopped by the local mechanic’s shop for repairs.

The job couldn’t be finished while he waited, so he said he didn’t live far and would just walk home.

However, struggling outside the shop, he now had a problem—how to carry all his purchases home.

While he was scratching his head, he was approached by a little old lady who told him she was lost.

She asked, “Can you tell me how to get to my sister’s address at Mockingbird Lane ?”

The farmer said, “Well, as a matter of fact, my farm is very close to that house. I would walk with you there right now, but I’m still trying to figure out how to carry this lot.”

The old lady suggested, “Why don’t you put the can of paint in the bucket, hold the bucket in one hand, put a chicken under each arm and carry the goose in your other hand?”

“Why, thank you for that great idea,” he said, and they proceeded to walk to her destination.

On the way he said, “Let’s take a shortcut and go down this alley. We’ll be there in no time.”

The little old lady looked him over cautiously then said, “I am a lonely widow without a husband to defend me… How do I know that when we get in the dark alley you won’t hold me up against the wall, pull up my skirt, and have your way with me?”

The farmer said, “Holy smokes, lady! I’m carrying a bucket, a gallon of paint, two chickens and a goose. How in the world could I possibly hold you up against the wall and do that?”..........

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The old lady replied, “Put the goose down, cover him with the bucket, put the paint on top of the bucket, and I’ll hold the chickens.”

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a cornish farmer wants a divorce so goes to a lawyer

the farmer says

"oi wants wan of them dayvorces"

lawyer,,"do you have grounds"?

farmer.."yes i gots me 40 acre's"

lawyer.."no you dont understand, do you have a suit"

farmer.."yes..oi wears it to church on sundays"

lawyer.."no i mean do you have a grudge"

farmer.."yes..i keeps me tractor in it"

lawyer.."does your wife beat you up"

farmer.."no we both gets up at 5-30"

lawyer getting really pissed off

"is your wife a nagger"

farmer.."no she's white but the baby's a nagger

thats why i needs a dayvorce"

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